I learned alot and am still learning.  It has given me insight as to why all these things are happening.  I know I will have to read it again...just to be sure I did not miss anything.  Her pain body is in complete and total control and she is totally unconscious.

I have to recommend to you all this book I'm reading called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's one of those books that can completely change how you perceive yourself and in turn how you perceive and relate to the world around you. I'm still very much at the beginning of the book, as I am a slow reader, but even from the little I've read, I feel this is no ordinary book... this is the kind of book that will help usher in the new age of self awareness and could cause a shift in the consciousness of our whole planet by changing the individual consciousness of so many.

The book is about realising and recognising your true self from the egoic self that you apparently construct and create for yourself and use as an identity. This egoic self unceasingly seeks to add unto and better establish itself by way of acquiring and identifying with people, things, titles etc. all of which are external and impermanent. The egoic self is said to be insatiable and ultimately destined to be unfulfilled, which is why he suggests finding your true self or your spirit and thereby your purpose in life, will add great depth, joy and fulfillment to your life.

The complete title of the book is "A New Earth - Awakening to your life's purpose" and I do hope you decide to check it out. It is an easy read, simply written, with beautiful ideas and enlightening thoughts that bring about many "aha moments" as you read along. Let me know what you think if you do read it or already have.

Eckhart Tolle takes a look at how we can change and save the planet. Can we make the inner changes required? A New Earth may hold the answers. Humanity now, perhaps more than in any previous time, has an opportunity to create a new, saner, more loving world. This will involve a radical inner leap from the current egoic consciousness to an entirely new one. In very practical terms, Tolle leads readers into this new consciousness to learn to live and breathe freely.

Great books. You can find this excellent Ebook here at a super price.

Have you read it? Tell us what you think.

Mulching

Arranging the mulch

The new garden, with dwarf pines, decorative grasses, lavender, ferns, heather, hostas, and some annuals.

The new gardens and the existing garden along fence. Along with some hanging baskets I picked up at Lowes for half price.

Astilbe and some other plants in front of house.

My dog is AMAZING at helping.

So you can see we were busy this weekend. Which may seem counterintuitive to my goal of slowing down. But, the thing is, what i found during this project was that for most of the time, I was present. I started off being excited about the finished project, but as I started working, the process became the important part. I found great relaxation in pulling weeds, watering, and planting, and a lot of satisfaction. That feeling of caring for something really was fulfilling.

That kind of ties into something else I wanted to talk about. My mother-in-law bought me a book called A New Earth, by Eckart Tolle. I started reading it last week, and today I began listening to the Oprah interview with him about the book. It's truly amazing-it's all about removing judgement from ourselves and others simply by living in the present and focusing only on what is now. Right now, in this moment, I am ok. It's a simple concept to talk about, but a little more challenging to put into practice.

Basically, what Tolle suggests, is that humans evolved into thinking beings, which helped during the time when we were first developing that ability. However, in mastering the ability to think, we have lost the connection with nature-that ability to just be. A good example of something that just is is a tree. It stays planted, it's living, but it doesn't count the passing of time. To a tree, there is no past or future. There is only now. The concept of time is a creation of the mind and thought.

Tolle also talks about ego. Ego is the story of ourselves as told by our thoughts-which are affected by messages around us. Our thoughts contain messages of suffering, negativity, worry, anxiety, as well as happiness, joy, love, etc. But if we assume that we, in essence, are the story that our thoughts have created, then we are selling ourselves short, and we are preventing ourselves from living as free as we'd like. We remain reigned in by worry about work, finances, the economy, our health and safety, and more. We worry about what we have to do, how we look, what could happen to us, etc. Tolle suggests that by letting all of that go, and just understanding that in this moment we simply are, then we can free ourselves to be much more than we originally thought.

It is a complex notion to grasp, but I would like to give it a try. Even today on my run, I noticed the run was much easier when I was focusing on the now, not worrying about how many miles I'd gone, or how many more I had to go. I caught myself judging myself based on speed, etc., and comparing myself to other runners that were around me. I started worrying about the race I have this weekend. But then, I tried to employ the practice that Tolle talks about. I realized that, right then, in that space, I was fine. I was running. That was it. I was breathing and running. My legs were moving, everything was in perfect working order. And I realized that is the goal.

So when I worry about the race that is upcoming, I think, I am here right now. That race isn't real yet. I will deal with that when it's real. When it's now. And then, I'll take each step as it comes, and I won't judge or worry about my performance. I'll just focus on being there, in that moment. I think it will be a healthy practice to develop for running as well as for my life. I mean, think about it. If I free up my time by eliminating worry as much as I possibly can, then I have more capability and room to be and do what I need and want to do.

So that is my goal. It's not an instantaneous thing-it's more of a lifetime exercise. But I'm putting it out there now that I really want to learn how to be mindful and present in each moment.

For those of you 'attached to form' here I am : )

...by the way, there is nothing inherently wrong with liking 'form,' as long as it isn't your highest priority in regards to me or yourself. So, what could be your highest priority?

I'll share mine, I renew it every morning, and it's simple: be the best Zen Lill possible, not always easy. My other daily philosophy: whoever I interact with, for whatever reason, we both leave the exchange feeling good, about ourselves/each other, even if I have to say why out loud, hate that part sometimes, but I've learned, people are not mind readers. This practice isn't always easy either but if you try it, you'll be pleasantly surprised...people totally dig hearing why exactly you like them, even if you think it's "self evident" (...my lead in to today's blog entry, clever, no?)

I was reading a book and in it were Jefferson's words '...as it was self evident...' followed closely by '...all men are created equal...' and well, my mind hasn't changed on this since I was seventeen, so I again added, '...though some are more equal than others...' then I began thinking...what the hell, I had time, I was kicking it by the Kern River where my only choices were: shall I go floating on the river, now or later? Shall I have a soft or hard bevvie, now or later? And, which book shall I pick up, 'A New Earth' or 'Mobs, Messiahs, and Markets' (these two choices did not go unnoticed by the newbies in the group and provided thought-provoking convos with both in the evenings) now or later?

So given the above scenario: I had to agree with Mobs' author, and myself, in thinking, 'self evident' oh yeah, really? to who other than yourself, Mr Jefferson??? Is the politician/celebrities/Bush family kid really on par with a child born in the barrio? Don't white males basically have it over almost everyone else: women, people of color, etc...? I could go on with the questions, but I'm tired today...

So, you talk : )

What do you think of Jefferson's '...self evident...all men are created equal...' constitutional statements?

Cindy, I hope you're feeling more emtional already, you and Bill Clinton, well, I do hope you're both tuned in today, Anonz has a few things to say today (I think, depends on his life schedule though, I suppose), and I respect and admire the man and most if not all of his observations, so, please give him a listen, thanks for indulging me : )

commenter: Fiesole...hmm, the Etruscan and little 'Medici' town up above Florence, Italy? or ? Well, Fiesole, you mentioned that Zen is opposite of Edgy, hmmm, let's look at the definitions I work with: 'edgy' - daring, provocative and trend setting (don't I wish) and 'Zen' - enlightenment attained through meditation, self contemplation and intuition. I haven't reached total enlightenment but for the most part, the definitions fit me.
And look, I'm only an imperfect being just like everyone else so don't think too much of me. And, sigh, I'm a dreamer, too (translation: a bit of a fool)...and as such, I often need/request forgiveness, shrug, what else can I do...?

Just read Michelle Moquin's blog, and you can, too...I must warn you, you may walk away believing in, um, aliens...from (look up) out there, check it @ http://michellemoquin.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/phone-encounters-of-the-first-kind/
Tell me what you think, wow, politics and space beings who communicate with Michelle, does it get much better than this???

Oprah's latest metaphysical mission is the new book by best-selling author Ekchardt Tolle - A New Earth.  She started a web teaching series based on the book that has many professed Christians up in arms as she made a comment that there is more than one way to get to God.

Let me interrupt my rant to say that I believe in God and I firmly believe in John 3:16.  My sister brought this news to my attention when she called and told me she had read something on the internet and urged me to check it out.   If you click on the YouTube video, the first thing that comes out of Oprah's mouth in the discussion is:  "There's more than one way to live your life!"  She goes on to say that the path taken by one may be different than the other.  

In any event, the conversation leads to Jesus and Oprah says, "What about Jesus?"   That's where the drama comes in.  I have the book, " A New Earth."   I also have the book, "The Power of Now."  The reason I bought the book A New Earth is because I gained so much from reading The Power of Now.  I believe the title is throwing many people off.  "A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose"  is about EGO and how the ego gets in the way of living a peaceful and meaningful life.  It has nothing to do with actually changing the earth.  I wish people would research more before spouting off their opinions.

Most metaphysical or "new age" books as they've come to be known:

The Purpose Driven Life
The Power of Intention
Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life
The Secret
The Power of Now
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
Until Today
The Four Agreements

and I could go on and on......are all books that allow you to look beneath the surface of your own "stuff." And GOD knows we all have alot of stuff!  These books have actually pulled me closer to God, not further away.  As with anything you read - you won't take everything the author says to heart.  It's their opinion based on their own individual expeiences.  We have Choices in life!  It's called "Free Will."  What works for me may not work for you, but at the end of the day, I can't go to HEAVEN for anyone except myself.  Oprah Winfrey's salvation is on her.  If what she's doing is so wrong, as a professed Christian you should pray for her, not condemn her.  Oprah's decision to do Change Your Life television was wonderful, but Oprah Winfrey is not an envangelist - Oprah Winfrey is a talk show host with a powerful voice.  If you are a true child of God, nothing Oprah Winfrey says or any book she might recommend can change that.  As for her leading the masses astray - won't God judge her for that?  I really believe her INTENTION is for good.

1 John tells us to "Test the Spirits."   

I welcome your comments!

Okay. I recognized myself in a few of the examples.  Some not so great.  Here are the things I wanted to remember.

• You easily lose yourself in words, become hypnotized into implicitly believing that when you have attached a word to something, you know what it is.  You don’t.  You have only covered up the mystery with a label.
• Underneath the surface appearance, everything is not only connected with everything else, but also with the Source of all life out of which it came.
• When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using though, became possessed by thought.
• In normal, everyday usage, “I” embodies the primordial error, a misperception of who you are, an illusory sense of identity.  This is ego.
• In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself.
• Identifying with things cause suffering if the thing is taken away.
• “I” attracts other thoughts to itself: becomes identified with a gender, possessions, the sense-perceived body, a nationality, a race, religion, profession, roles (mother, father, husband, wife, friend, etc), accumulated knowledge or opinions, likes and dislikes, and all the things that happened to “me” in the past.
• The definition of spiritual unconsciousness: when there is no “I” apart from thought processes and the emotions that go with them.
• The shift in identity from being the content of their minds to being the awareness in the background.
• The egoic mind is completely conditioned by the past.
• One of the most basic mind structures through which the ego is formed is identification.  Identify means to make it equivalent with me, make it part of my identity.
• There may be things in our lives that we value because of their beauty of inherent quality.
• We need to honor the world of things, not despise it.
• We can not honor things if we use them as a means of self-enhancement.
• A large part of many people’s lives is consumed by an obsessive preoccupation with things.
• When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you try to fill up your life with things.
• Is your sense of self-worth tied up with the things you possess?
• Do certain things cause a subtle feeling of importance or superiority?
• Does lack of them make you feel inferior?
• When you lose something: Has who you are become diminished by the loss?
• Whatever the ego seeks and gets attached to are substitutes for the Being that it cannot feel.  You can value and care for things, but when you get attached, you know it’s the ego.
• Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.
• The ego isn’t wrong; it’s just unconscious.
• When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to get past it.  Don’t take ego too seriously.
• The ego isn’t personal, it isn’t who you are.
• There are people who have renounced all possessions but who have bigger egos than millionaires.
• The ego tends to equate Being with having: I have, therefore I am.  The more I have, the more I am. 
• How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself.
• It’s impossible to let go of attachment to things.  The attachment tends to drop away on its own when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.
• I am the awareness that is aware that there is attachment.
• The physical needs for food, water, shelter, clothing and basic comforts could be easily met for all humans on the earth were it not for the imbalance of resources created by the insane and rapacious need for more, the greed of the ego.
• For many people, their sense of self-worth is intimately bound up with their physical strength, good looks, fitness, and external appearance.  Many feel a diminished sense of self-worth because they perceive their body as ugly or imperfect.
• To refrain from identifying with the body does not mean that you neglect, despise or no longer care for it.  You can improve the body’s condition through right nutrition and exercise.
• Although body-identification is one of the most basic forms of ego, the good news is that it is also the one that you can most easily go beyond.
• Shift your attention from the external from of your body to the feeling of aliveness inside it.
• Make it a habit to feel the inner body as often as you can. (the feeling of the aliveness in your hand, etc thing)
• See if you can feel the inner body whenever you listen to somebody.
• When every thought absorbs your attention completely, when you are so identified with the voice in your head and the emotions that accompany it that you lose yourself in every thought and every emotion, then you are totally identified with form and therefore in the grip of ego.
• Descartes: I think, therefore I am.  Not the ultimate truth, but the root of the ego.
• Jean-Paul Sartres: “The consciousness that says “I am” is not the consciousness that thinks.” 
• When you are aware that you are thinking, the awareness is not part of the thinking.
• The peace that passes all understanding. Whatever they identified with, whatever gave them their sense of self, was taken away and that got the peace that passes all understanding. That didn’t happen to me with the boys.
• You realize your true identity as consciousness itself, rather than what consciousness has identified with.  The ultimate truth of who you are not “I am this” or “I am that” but “I Am.” 
• Be still and know that I Am.  Psalm 46:10
• Not everyone who has great loss experiences the peace (like me.)  They create a strong mental image of themselves as a victim.  Whatever the image they create (depression, anger, self-pity, resentment, etc) takes the place of all other identifications that have collapsed through loss. The ego finds a new form and sometimes this one is more rigid.
• Yielding means inner acceptance of what is.

Those are the key things that I got from Chapter 2.

I recognized myself in some once again.  When we lost the boys, it was a huge blow to my ego.  I had wrapped myself in “wife and mother.”  More mother.  When I didn’t have them, I didn’t know who I was.  Even more, I have said more than once that I spent my entire adult life becoming the sort of person to whom this doesn’t happen, but then it did.  So, that part of my identity was lost, too.

I have lately, but I don’t know why, begun to have body image issues.  I have begun to see myself as fat, therefore “less than.” I have begun to recognize my aging process and mourn the loss of the chance to be young and thin, therefore reasonably pretty.  I will never be that woman again.

I have felt superior to the Joannes because I don’t get so caught up in having “stuff.”  To PJH because I don’t get all wound up about losing stuff or having things broken or whatever.

When my niece was born, I felt her inner body.  It was possibly the most amazing thing I have ever felt.  I do not remember having that with my nephew, sadly.  I wonder if I try, if I can feel it now.  I can feel my own.  I can feel LMM’s.  I wonder if I can feel others’?

I’ve also recognized my attachment to “my.”  As in “my girlfriend.” I get so spun up about the potential of losing her that I did.  I created the reality.  In a very tangible way, I believe that.  For example, today I was thinking about her and she called, despite having told me that she isn’t going to call me again. I wonder if I spend some time thinking about what personality will work with me, what things are important to me in a person, if that person will show up?  Will that person be LMM?  I don’t know, of course.  It also, seems to be off the subject.

Now, on to the questions from the workbook from Oprah.com.  I’ll paraphrase the questions for brevity.

1. Pay attention to repetitive thought patterns, particularly negative ones about yourself, your life or other people.
   1. Oh, yeah, I won’t be talking about this in our group. One of mine about other people is to do with my boss’ boss, who I think is incompetent and he demonstrates it regularly.  I also think that he doesn’t value my job and that he is trying to find a way to justify to the board eliminating it. 
   2. Not today so much, but in the last year, I have had several repetitive thoughts about LMM.

                                                              i.      She doesn’t really love me.

                                                            ii.      I can’t trust her because of what happened in 1999.  !!!!

                                                          iii.      She is going to be unfaithful to me with MA.

                                                          iv.      She prefers MA but they can’t be together since MA can’t “act right” so I’m the substitute.

                                                            v.      She doesn’t value me, there is nothing special about me as far as she is concerned.

                                                          vi.      She thinks that she doesn’t have to bring anything else to this relationship now that she has moved here.

                                                        vii.      She isn’t going to leave JMF.

                                                      viii.      She doesn’t really like me, let alone love me.

                                                          ix.      Everything that I thought was special about us, she says she has had with MA.

1.  
   1. About myself: (and these are all pretty new)

                                                              i.      There is nothing special about me.

                                                            ii.      There is nothing special about our relationship.

                                                          iii.      I’m not pretty enough.

                                                          iv.      I’m not smart enough.

                                                            v.      I’m too fat.

                                                          vi.      I don’t have enough money.

                                                        vii.      There is something intrinsically wrong with me because I haven’t recovered financially from The Boys yet and I don’t live in my own place.

                                                      viii.      There is something wrong with me because I’m not really ready to live on my own yet.

                                                          ix.      People don’t really care about me.

                                                            x.      I am easily forgettable.

                                                          xi.      There are probably more.

1. Do certain things induce a subtle feeling of importance or superiority?  Do you casually mention that you own them to show off? Does the lack of things make you feel inferior to others?  Do you feel resentful of those who have things?
   1. I can’t say that they induce superiority but I definitely prefer having the truck to my old car.  Part of that is that it’s more reliable but only part.  Part of it comes from having been so poor as a young person and completely mortified by things like what car my parents drove.   I recognize that it’s silly.  That’s, thankfully, only a small part.  Mostly I like it because it’s reliable and would really prefer something smaller with better gas mileage since gas costs so much.  Not to mention my decades of railing against SUV drivers who irresponsibly use so much gas.
   2. I don’t feel inferior due to “things” frequently, but sometimes I do.  I do about silly things like clothes, probably because I like them so much so I wish I could afford to buy better things.  I don’t necessarily mean designer but I feel weird about buying things at like Banana Republic.  LMM bought some shirts that were more than $100 each and I was scandalized.  There is nothing wrong with that.  She can afford it, she loves them, she wears them a lot, etc.  I would have a hard time with it.  I would like to change that in me and think that it’s okay for me to enjoy clothes and spend money on things that are beautiful and that I will enjoy wearing.
   3. As for the diminished sense of self:  It isn’t generally due to things but experiences.  I am having a very hard time letting go of the ego bit about what happened with my children and what do people think of me because of it.  I was a good mom.  Why is it so important to me that people agree with that?  Why do I care if there are people who think that stuff is true? For some reason, I feel that way about LMM, too.  All the other women in her life are better in one way or another.  She couldn’t possibly love me because there is something wrong with me.  I mean, Lord.  I’m the woman

                                                              i.      whose children were taken away

                                                            ii.      who took more than a year to get undepressed

                                                          iii.      who is a financial wreck (and I fail to recognize how things are improving),

                                                          iv.      whose partner stopped loving her,

                                                            v.      whose partner stopped finding her sexually attractive

                                                          vi.      who LMM already left once (now twice)

                                                        vii.      isn’t MA

                                                      viii.      who is an emotional basketcase, even still.

                                                          ix.      Who seems to have no self-confidence.

1. The people who have renounced all things and have bigger egos and if you take away one kind of identification, they ego will find another.  What do you think this means?
   1. Those people with the big ego are very invested in being the sort of person who doesn’t care about “stuff.”  They “identify” with that, it’s become a way the ego categorizes them. Maybe the millionaire enjoys the money and possessions but doesn’t feel attached to them.  The other person may be attached to their vision of themselves.
   2. I think the ego needs to give itself some sort of identification, so if you remove one, it will find another.  The ego needs content.
2. Inner body
   1. Yes! I could feel it!  I’ve been aware of it in others: me, my niece, LMM, my dog.
3. The experience of standing in front of the fridge, not really hungry but looking for something anyway?  People try to fill up with food, drink, drugs, etc.  the “need for more” can turn into an insatiable hunger.  The next time you find yourself reaching for something you think you want, get in touch with your inner body and see what happens to your need for more.
   1. I didn’t really do this but I will note that there have been a couple of things that I wanted this week and I didn’t buy them.  It wasn’t “oh, I can’t afford that” but “I don’t really want to spend that money on those things.  Maybe after I do XYZ, if I still want it, I’ll buy it.”
4. Have you ever had a loss you resisted?  A loss to which you yielded? What happened?
   1. Resisted.  The boys.  I was depressed for a year.  I got myself into a world of trouble because I didn’t get out of bed for the better part of a year.
   2. Yielded.  LMM.  This time.  I seem to be doing okay.  I have accepted it and my attitude is much better than I would have thought.  I don’t feel as sad, I don’t feel “desperate” as I did before I just accepted that we aren’t going to be together now.  I’m calmer and more collected.  I’m able to let go, talk to her in a friendly way but not try to manipulate the situation.  I am actually pretty proud of this!  It’s early but I think it might just stick. 

I have more thoughts that I can make coherent, I think.

A New Earth is soooo New Thought.  Let’s begin with a few of the things I highlighted.  I can’t write all of them because some were entire paragraphs!

• Jesus tells us to contemplate the flowers and learn from them how to live
• You cannot fight against the ego and win, just as you cannot fight against the darkness.  The light of consciousness is all that is necessary.  You are that light.
• ….. the “normal” state of mind of most human beings contains a strong element of what we might call dysfunction or even madness.
• To sin means to miss the point of human existence. (using the original Greek definition which means “to miss the mark.” )  Thus, to sin means to live unskillfully, blindly, and thus to suffer and cause suffering.
• The first full paragraph on page 12 about “fear, greed and the desire for power are the psychological motivating forces not only behind warfare and violence between nations, tribes, religions, and ideologies, but also the cause of incessant conflict in personal relationships.
• You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within, and allowing that goodness to emerge.
• To recognize one’s own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence.
• To paraphrase paragraph 2, page 15: Man made God in his own image.  Religion has been used to divide and to justify hatred and violence.
• This results in a total unawareness of my connectedness with the whole, my intrinsic oneness with every “other” as well as with the Source.  This forgetfulness is original sin, suffering, delusion.

These are the things that spawned the swirling thoughts.  It’s so exactly what I believe in many ways. That sin is to cause suffering, that “Hell” is separation from God (though he doesn’t say that.)

The thing that really struck me is the “Man made God in his own image.”  That explains a lot to me and in a way that I haven’t been able to articulate.   The Bible is full of war, killing, rape, all God-sanctioned.  That doesn’t make sense: how could Got not “get” the connectedness of us?  How could God not understand that to hurt another is to hurt ourselves?  God couldn’t, so men wrote a book that is mean to justify their behavior, they call it The Word of God and they vilify you if you dare to disagree, to suggest that it couldn’t be The Word of an infallible God because there are so many errors, so many dichotomies, so many mistranslations, so many contradictions.

This is the lousiest book I have ever had the misfortune to read. Anyone who believes in this excruciating stuff must be ‘away with the fairies’ to begin with. I will keep adding pages to this chapter and try to get through the rest of the book, so help me God.

Chapter has now been completed! yeah!!!!

Page 129          Tolle refers to the voice in his head again. I’m beginning to think this guy is schizoid. He also refers to karma on this page, which is a Buddhist/Hinduistic term. There is no such thing as karma in Christianity.

Page 130          Nothing of consequence.

Page 131          Tolle writes about ‘phonies.’ Is this a subliminal fear that Oprah has? Is she afraid of her work being ‘superficial?’

Tolle talks about modern people ‘always trying to get home, but never reach it.’ Perhaps if Tolle and his readers were to read John 14, they might suddenly find it!

Tolle writes about modern writers writing about the modern human dilemma, but never offering a solution. He doesn’t seem to understand that this comes about because most of them lacked faith.

Page 132          Tolle expresses emotions in a holistic sense. His material on this page could have been written from a manual of the Christian Scientists.

Page 133          Tolle refers to Gaia…the complex being that is planet earth. This is definitely New Age stuff.

Refers to primordial fear and anger…fight or flight…nothing new here.

Tolle suggest that emotion is the body’s respond to thought. An inward reaction to an outward circumstance.

Page 134          Tolle suggests that toxic energy in our system is built up through anxious thoughts. This is New Age hooey. There is no scientific evidence for any of this. Tolle is waffling here and wallowing in his own thoughts. Is he suffering from the same self-promulgated narcissism that he talks about through like his own suppositions and thoughts, rather than the ones he can actually prove?

Page 135          The voice in the head tells the story that the body believes…this is what he calls emotional storytelling. Is Tolle making a negative inference about the Church and its teaching?

“Life always lets you down”…is this a great part of Tolle’s personal reality?

He talks about self-esteem being low…is he empathizing with his women readers????

Page 136          Tolle lists a whole lot of negative qualities/experiences and claims that they all disrupt the energy flow through the body, heart, and immune system. Almost same kind of list of sins against the Spirit. Galatians.

All negative emotions equals unhappiness to Tolle. But is a lack of happiness really unhappiness?

Page 137          Love is a possessiveness and addiction that can turn to hatred…is Tolle reaching out to his readers who have bad relationships???? Clever, very clever…

There is not good without bad, no high without low. This is dualism, which is not Christian. God is good – He was when bad did not exist, and He will continue to be when bad ceases to exist.

States of Being positively emanate from love joy, peace…Tolle almost lists the fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians.

Page 138          We are a species that has lost its way…which is why Jesus came into the world – to show us the way back through Him.

Page 139          the present moment is where we find power…the experience of now. This is Buddhist teaching. In Christianity, the only real now is God…I AM WHO I AM. Tolle is once again displacing God for our own existential experience.

Relates story about two monks – Tanzan and Ekido. Old story…good point.

Page 140          memories become our emotional prisons. If we don’t let go of the past, our past won’t let go of us. Is Tolle talking about the past, or is he surreptitiously meaning ‘tradition?’

We hang on to our old emotions and they become our identity…which is why Christ invites us to come to Him…to liberate us from the past and find our new identity in Him.

Page 141 …nothing ever happened in the past etc….this is sophistry. He’s trying to sound clever, but as Ecclesiastes might say…it’s just vanity.

Tolle talks about children growing up with negative emotions…he’s linking to mothers who worry about their kids…clever reader prospecting here.

Page 142…nobody can go through childhood without suffering emotional pain. This is true.

Remnants of pain and negative emotion forms an energy field…this is Star Trekking again. Perhaps Tolle has accumulated most of his ideas through the imagination of Gene Roddenberry.

Page 143 … the collective pain-body is probably encoded within every human’s DNA…although it hasn’t been discovered yet….WOW! This is mythical, NEW AGE stuff…

Emotional pain-body is carried by every new born….is Tolle equating this with original sin??? Human pain…isn’t this what we Christians call separation or alienation from God?

People with pain bodies are better equipped to awaken spiritually…clever, Tolle, clever. He’s sympathizing with his readers.

Page 144…WOW! Tolle refers to Jesus as CHRIST.  …with regard to His suffering…Tolle sees Christ as the archetypal human, embodying pain and the possibility of transcendence. In other words, Tolle is equating Christ’s pain with our own and nothing more. There’s no sacrifice for the world to redeem it for God.

Pain body is a semi-autonomous energy form…this is absolute baloney…talks about this needing to be fed…and vibrating at a certain frequency. This is some wild stuff, although some forms of Buddhism talk about vibrations drawing forth dark evil forces…

Page 145          The pain body is an addiction to unhappiness…misery loves company??

Pain body, negativity, and depression…is Tolle relating to a lot of women???

Page 146:         Pain body feeds on thought energy…thoughts operate and vibrate at a higher frequency…there is no scientific evidence of this. This sounds like something from Reno:The Excutioner stories…

Page 147:         A lot of this page is like an episode of Deep Space Nine where a character (Jake) is taken over by the MUSE.

Voice in head tells sad, anxious or angry stories about self, other people, and situations…This is schizoid…this makes me very wary about Tolle and his own mental stability.

Pain body devours negative thoughts…this is absolute garbage…

Page 148          Pain body – a psychic parasite….emotional vampirism.

Pain body pushes other people’s buttons…in other words, no responsibility…I can hear it now: It wasn’t me, it was my pain body that did it!

Tolle lays on a guilt trip for unstable parents when he writes about millions of children going through upheaval because of their parents’ agitated pain bodies…This guy piles on guilt like an old Irish priest, which is a method of gaining control. If Tolle can make his readers feel guilty, then he can also hold out the carrot of absolution, salvation, etc…

Page 149:        Pain body is the reason for alcoholism and violence in men…The person who is talking and making promises, however, is not the entity that commits the violence…This is transference. Tolle is condoning violence by suggesting it is not a personal choice but an activation of the pain body…

People think they fall in love, but actually their pain-bodies compliment each other…Tolle must have had some bad relationship experiences. This sounds more like sour grapes to me.

Page 150:         Pain bodies keep dormant and then jump into action when triggered….Tolle writes a stereotypical page about honeymoon arguments. This is not good psychology…this is pseudo-psychology…Tolle appears to blame all conflicts on pain bodies, instead of blaming it on people themselves.

Page 151:         Pain body distorts reality with fear, hostility, and anger…blinded by emotions. All of a sudden the person you love has a different face…the pain-body has taken possession. Choose someone as your partner whose pain body is not excessively dense.???

The only excessively dense people are the ones who think this book will transform them.

Page 152          People with pain bodies don’t even know that they are unhappy because they are unconscious of their inner state….I’ve been around a lot people, but I’ve never come across a person who doesn’t know when they are unhappy.

Negative energy flows into pain-bodied people and they end up falling out with the organizations that they belong to…in other words, they find exactly what they are looking for.            Could this be applied to Tolle, Oprah and their followers? They have been falling out with the Church simply because their pain body is telling them to be unhappy with Christ????

Page 153          Violent films attract large audiences because the pain-body vicariously renews itself through cinema and television.         How does this apply to Oprah? Isn’t she part of the system that promotes this stuff? She’s on network television after all.

Note also that Tolle uses the word ‘vicariously’ when it comes to violence – will he relate this topic to Christ’s suffering????

Page 154          Some of the best anti-war films show the reality of war without glorifying it…agreed.

Tolle condemns the British press – is there some Germanic hatred underlying this????

The Collective female Pain-Body – Tolle is reaching out again to the main readers of his book – women.

Page 155          Female principles suppressed…ego is more rooted in males. Women are more spiritual and less mind-rooted than men, making women more attuned to the natural world.       This is gender stereotyping

Nobody knows the exact figure…but it seems certain…those two statements in the one sentence oppose each other…Tolle claims that over 300 years, 3-5 million women were tortured and killed by the Inquisition. There is no proof of this and all Tolle is doing is revealing his own prejudicial revisionist thoughts.

Page 156          The sacred feminine was declared demonic – I get the feeling that Tolle has been taking in too much Da Vinci Code stuff

The evolutionary ego in men takes full control of the planet and women are rendered powerless….and yet through the ages millions of men protected their families from hostile invaders. Where’s the ego in the defenders?

Page 157          Things are changing – the ego is losing its power over humankind and is being lost more quickly in women…this is genderism at its most blatant. Tolle cannot prove any of this. This is sophistry.

Older countries have more pain bodies. Younger nations – Canada and Australia have lighter collective pain bodies…yet both Canada and Australia have never had a generation that was not at war…Tolle also includes Switzerland as an example of this lighter pain body….maybe he should visit Switzerland…they are so nationalistic that every household is required to have a rifle for national defense, and every citizen of a certain age needs to go on military maneuvers at least once per year.

Page 158          In the Middle East, the collective pain body is so acute that it perpetrates violence.         So the terrorists are no longer responsible for bombings and murders. They can blame it all on their good ol’ bad pain body….

Tolle claims that China’s heavy pain body is mitigated through t’ai chi…. This will please Tolle’s New Age fans. There is no evidence to support this…

Page 159          The Western world needs to embrace t’ai chi, qigong, and yoga…they weaken the pain body and will play an important role in the global awakening…I honestly think that Tolle has been drinking too much kool-ade at this point.

Native Americans decimated and culture destroyed by European settlers. Jewish people also have a pronounced collective racial pain-body….this is racist…Tolle is saying that these races are actually handicapped by their own proclivities to suffering…

For what you do to others, you do to yourself – agreed.

Page 160          there is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet: human unconsciousness….Tolle is saying that there is no individual accountability or personal responsibility for evil. After all, how can you put human unconsciousness on trial for wickedness?

With forgiveness, your true power emerges – the power of Presence.    Tolle has finally displaced God’s mercy and replaced Christ with ourselves. There’s an old word for this: idolatry.

A New Earth - Part 4

I've gotten a few messages from readers who state that although they do "get" most of the basic concepts I have been blogging about, some characteristics of The Gambling Ego are too abstract in nature to have any real impact on changing their way of thinking about gambling.

This is a very valid point!

I am not a psychotherapist nor a self-help guru, but I do consider myself enlightened about certain aspects of the personality.  A lot of this is due to many years of deep self-reflection, meditation, taking a couple of college courses, observing others' behavior and reading topical books. 

The one book that really provided me with an irrefutable "Aha!" moment is Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth.   I realize that his writings may not fit everyone's personal beliefs, but I do nonethess believe there is enough "food for thought" contained in the pages of his book to make a compulsive gambler perhaps start seeing things in a new light.

In my opinion, the book starts out a bit dry, unfortunately.  And some of it might seem a tad "out there" if you are not used to reading "deep" philosopical books.  However, if you happen to obtain a copy of The New Earth , after reading through the first chapter my guess is that you will be pleasantly amazed once Tolle gets to the meaty part of explaining how the inner workings of The Ego operate. 

His book is not specifically about The GE.  However, much (if not all) of what he says absolutely correlates to the emotions and behaviors of a compulsive gambler.  I couldn't possibly begin to express it as powerfully or eloquently as he does, but I can at least summarize a few key points.

The biggest revelation I got out of reading this book is that The GE thrives off of WANTING, not "having". Talk about a major eye opener!!  As I was reading along, it suddenly dawned on me why a jackpot (no matter how large or small) was never satisfying beyond the split second that it happened, why all my winnings kept getting recycled back into slot machines, why there was no saturation point during all my past gambling binges and why it was basically pointless for me to think that a "big hit" would suddenly make everything in my life right again... all because my GE craved the "wanting" of something bigger and better...  and not the actual "having " of money in my pocket.

By default, The GE recognizes or feels no emotions other than wanting.   "Having" is a concept that simply does not register in the mind of The GE.  What a shallow little son of a gun it is!! 

The nature of the beast (so to speak) comes out with a furious passion and it will blindly toss aside anything in its way.  It fears no consequences or repercussions.  The reason it bulldozes right over consequences/repercussions is because that is the only method The GE is capable of imploying in order to survive.  Self-preservation is the driving motivaton behind The GE's actions and behaviors - and continuing to experience intense desires of wanting sends a signal to itself that it is indeed, still alive.    

The GE is very stubborn.

I highly recommend A New Earth if you are thirsty for clues in understanding your gambling addiction.  I would bet (haha) that you feel a new sense of peace after reading what Tolle has to say about The Ego (in this case, The GE)  Your mind probably will react with a curious, "Oh, so THAT'S what was going on all this time!"  It is a very empowering discoery -  something I know first-hand because that's exactly what happened to me.

Tomorrow, I will blog about how to recognize that The GE is a completely separate layer of yourself.  That notion in and of itself might have some people scratching their heads at this point,  but I honestly have come to believe it is not only possible to understand this concept, but NECESSARY in order to quit gambling for good.  I like to think of it as discovering "The Missing Link".

~ Mingtha

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile . It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep .
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to ... today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy .
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice prayer. It provides us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn . Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more . It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
29. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel , get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinkun of ya! =)
36. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
37. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
38. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

I'm giving it a try but then again I have a head start hey, seeing as I'm here and you're there he! he!  :-)

Rin...

Me: Hello, hello (panting) I'm here, hello?

Oprah: It's Jenni-FERRRRR!!

Me: Hi Oprah! What do you need, do you need something? I'm in the middle of a souffle and shaving my legs and giving my cat CPR, but that can wait. What can I do you for?

Oprah: No, what can I do for you?

Me: Huh?

Oprah: I said, what can I do for you, Miss Jennifer?

Me: Who is this?

Oprah: C'mon. It's Oprah. How are you?

Me: Me?

Oprah: Yes, you. How... are... you?

Me: Honestly?

Oprah: Of course.

Me: Hmmm... let me pull my thoughts together. How much time do you have?

Oprah: Hold on (sounds of shuffling and voices) Three minutes.

Me: Oh my God, that's awesome. Thank you so much, I mean...

Oprah: Let's get to business, Jennifer. How are you? Anything I can do for you?

Me: Ok, um, if I had a little notice, I mean-- crap I can't believe I just said.... OK breathe.

Oprah: Yes, breathe.

Me: Right, breathe.... (large inhales and exhales)

Oprah: Don't breathe too long.

Me: Right, OK. Um, I just want to say that the "A New Earth" class totally rocked the house. I can't believe Meg Ryan turned you on to this guy-- what is she up to anyway?

Oprah: Thanks, and, we should probably focus on...

Me: Me, right. I mean, what is "me" anyway? I just learned that. OK, so I'm a little conflicted. I feel like I should be pitching you some of my PR clients. I mean, that would be the selfless thing to do, right?

Oprah: You don't have to pitch me, Jennifer. I have producers for that. Let's focus on you.

Me: Really? Whew, that's a relief. I can tell them I tried, you know. I mean I did try, right?

Oprah: Yes, just tell them I told you not to pitch me and just to send your info to the producers. Just tell them that.

Me: Oh, God, that's great. For the love of... are we out of time?!

Oprah: Almost.

Me: OK. Here goes... (deep breath) Ever since I can remember I've wanted to be a writer. I ended up getting my degree in writing from a college in Boston, which was great. But once I left-- once what I now recall as the best time of my life, or more accurately the truest time of my life, was behind me it seemed my whole world was about paying back $50K in student loans and making sure that I had health insurance and a car. Maybe I was afraid of trying and failing, maybe just the act of writing wasn't enough-- I had to tag on what it would be like to lead a writers' life. The truth was, I just hadn't lived enough. I had pain, but I didn't have perspective. At one point, I had listened to too many people say that being a writer was about the stupidest thing I could do, and wouldn't I rather have a bit of security and some kind of future? Then I ended up in a Korean Zen Center in Los Angeles, and I felt that the present moment was my worst enemy and my closest friend. I guess I felt special being there, but then the meditation, the 4:30 a.m. calls to chant, just the environment kicked the "specialness" right out of me. I was just a normal girl from the suburbs trying to figure it all out. I tried to quiet the chatter inside, but I still read horrible screenplay after horrible screenplay so I could earn a living. But I guess what I want to say is... thank you.

Oprah: Yes, I've really gotten a lot of great feedback on the class and...

Me: I don't have much time!!

Oprah: You're right. Sorry! Go ahead.

Me: OK, so the other day I was picking up diapers, books and ibuprofen at Costco and something caught my eye. There was a 60-something year old grandmother with her very pretty soccer mom daughter. They were discussing "A New Earth" and were chatting about how many copies they should get for various loved ones. A few minutes later, a teenage boy picked up a copy (maybe he thought it was science fiction) and he browsed through it and eventually tossed it into his Mom's shopping cart. Under the forty foot ceilings and surrounded by lotions and sweaters and pretzels in bulk, "A New Earth" had made its way into the mainstream. I felt vindicated. I even felt a little silly that it had taken me so long to realize that being me with all my gifts and talents was exactly what I should do with my life. That's all. Very simple. The deeper I commit to that, the closer I am to God, to the source. And so, I guess, you really can't do anything for me that you haven't already done. Except one thing...

Oprah: What?

Me: Please don't become a Scientologist. I'm begging you. That's all I ask.

Oprah: You got it!

Me: Thanks. So, do I have any more time to... hello, hello?

Although American culture is different from my own, I still 'take it as read' that the vast majority of Christians (to which audience this blog is primarilly aimed at),  would not expect secular daytime TV to provide their spiritual answers, let alone follow a chat show host's feel-good cheesy philosophy, or expect everyone who claims  to be a Christian or a church goer to be a real Christian - especially in America. As this blog is addressed to the church, and not the world, therefore I have avoided commentating on Oprah, and others like her, up until now. It is not that I don't care about this spiritual deception perpetuated by a sincere and searching Oprah to a sincere and searching world - I do,  it is deeply serious - it's just that is not this particular blog's focus or remit which focuses on deception and other wrongs  within the church.

However, that all said, I recognise that soon enough popular philosphies within the world are repackaged and creep into the church one way or the other. As more and more Christians are throwing away their Bibles, and their brains and discernment (evident from the Todd Bentley Lakeland fiasco), and are embracing everything and anything that feels good, however bizarre or unbiblical, this wordly false teaching will creep into Christian psyche far quicker and more overtly than used to be the case just fifteen years ago (eg pre the Toronto Blessing). For that reason, here's an article from Oprah.  Thanks to the poster who made me aware of this article.

"By Andrea D. Hedlund CBN.com Producer

Oprah, perhaps the most influential woman in the world today, has undeniably left a stamp on modern culture.  Her talk show has been number one for 21 consecutive years. She is the first African-American woman to become a billionaire. We love Oprah’s big giveaways and flock to the bookstore to pick up the latest selection for her book club, which has approximately 1 million members. An endorsement by Oprah is golden. Her show has thrust the likes of Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray into mainstream America.

I have never been a devoted viewer of The Oprah Winfrey Show, but I always seem to catch some of her most memorable TV moments.  Who can forget the infamous day Tom Cruise proclaimed his infinite love for Katie Holmes by jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch?

I remember how Oprah gushed over Barack Obama during an interview with him on her show before he rose from his obscurity to emerge as the charismatic figure of "change" for our country. It wasn't surprising to me when she stepped out and publicly endorsed him.

Like it or not, Oprah has great influence on our society today, and with that power comes responsibility.  But a huge question remains: is her personal spiritual agenda leading the masses astray?

According to some CBN.com viewers and author Carrington Steele of Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid: Oprah, Obama, and the Occult, the answer is yes. The deeper Oprah delves into new age philosophies, the more dangerous she becomes. This doesn’t mean these skeptics are Oprah-bashers or think she is a “horrible” person.  Instead, there is a genuine concern for the state of her soul, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”  (Matthew 16:26).

Stop Embracing the Church of Oprah

Oprah came from humble beginnings, overcame many obstacles, and has sought to be a positive voice in the world.  She encourages us and is like a loyal childhood friend.

Like a chameleon, we have also watched her spiritual colors shift over the years.  Raised in a black Baptist church in Mississippi, she rebelled against the establishment after being sexually abused by her own relatives.  Later, she repented and returned to her spiritual roots. At one point she was linked to Obama’s former (controversial) place of worship, Trinity United Church. More recently, a 2005 Washington Post   article called Oprah’s popularity the “Church of Oprah,” or the church of possibility. Self-help and self-awareness became her faith of choice.

Every so often while watching The Oprah Winfrey Show,  do you get that feeling in your gut, “the spirit of discernment,” that urges you to flip the channel?  If so, you may not be the only one.

Steele writes that she first had that feeling about 10 years ago. She wrote, “Oprah was interviewing a guest named Gary Zukav, author of the book, The Seat of the Soul.  I decided after hearing some of the conversation, that since it didn’t seem to correspond with my Christian beliefs, I would just not watch that day.”

But how many unsuspecting Americans don’t change the channel?  What happens when the Holy Spirit whispers to Christians and we don’t listen?  Are we contributing to the demise of our society?

“My comfortable, familiar routine was now the source of something that is on the brink of changing America.  It has slithered into our homes and we are not even aware of it, in fact…we’re embracing it,” Steele admits in Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid.

Search Oprah on GodTube or YouTube to watch video clips from her show where she openly states “there are many diverse paths leading to what you call God.”  She argues with several audience members who say Jesus is the only path to God.  Christians understand that worldly success doesn’t equate with true victory, nor will good works earn us a spot in Heaven. We know Jesus is the ONLY way (John 14:6).

We should be alarmed by Oprah’s increasing hostility toward the truth of the Gospel and recent embrace of New Age philosophies like Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth  and “The Secret.”

“Oprah has developed an open philosophy for learning and delving into spiritual matters,” Steele writes.  “It appears on the way to her quest to find the answers, her ‘truths’ have come from a variety of sources that complement each other because they ultimately come from one source; the deceiver, Satan.”

New Age Philosophies Exposed

In Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid,  Steele offers a quick overview of some of the pervading philosophies presented by Oprah to her audience. These supposedly "new" ideas are really just old schemes of the devil wrapped in pretty packaging. New agers recycle the same idea that every man is a son of God, man can be like God, and that we are the source of our salvation.

Most recently, and arguably most lethal, Oprah launched a virtual classroom to promote and encourage Tolle’s A New Earth,  which is a selection for her book club.  Ten million-plus students met online once a week for 10 lessons earlier this year and became “awakened,” or mind trained by Tolle and Oprah. This interactive teaching is still available on Oprah.com.

Basically, Tolle teaches:

• A glimpse will initiate awakening, which is irreversible.
• We are the light.
• Sin means missing the point of exit.
• We have a choice: evolve or die.
• Heaven is not a location but an inner realm of consciousness.
• The source of all energy is within you.
• Jesus is an archetypal figure. He is every man and woman.

Of Tolle’s A New Earth,  Oprah says, “Being able to share this material with you is a gift and a part of the fulfillment of my life’s purpose.”

Unbelievable! We must step in and intercede for Oprah and others of the new age philosophy and pray that their eyes and ears would see and hear the Gospel and no longer be deceived (2 Timothy 4:3, Mark 13: 5, Romans 12:2).

Pray specifically for those who practice new age beliefs, such as:

• Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret  who believes we think things into existence.
• Eric Butterworth, author of Discover The Power Within You,  who says we are each God and sin is “self-inflicted nonsense.”
• Gary Zukav, author of  The Seat of The Soul,  who considers Jesus the most evolved of our species and mixes Hinduism with everyday beliefs.
• Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love,  who says we are all sons of God, it is our destiny to be as Jesus, my holiness is my salvation, my salvation comes from me, and there is no sin.

We cannot allow false prophets and those with great power to lead us astray any longer (1 John 4:1).   Let’s pray for our broken nation to once again stand on the rock of true salvation.

Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?   Meet Him today."

defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\, transitive verb:

To throw out of a window.

Some of his apparent chums . . . would still happily defenestrate him if they caught him near a window.
-- Andrew Marr, "No option bar the radical one", Independent, July 5, 1994

I defenestrated a clock to see if time flies!
-- Lane Smith, quoted in "Who's News", Time for Kids, September 25, 1998

From my high school French, I know that "fenetre" means "window" so this word now makes sense. But honestly, did you know that this word even existed in English? Hmmm...I have to mull over whether I have ever defenestrated (or wanted to) something........perhaps an annoying alarm clock? A importunate infant (see April 8)???

At Sixth and Howard in San Francisco "Defenestration":

A New Earth is Tolle’s follow-up to The Power of Now. His essential premise is that the ego-based thinking most people do – you know, the part of you that wants this, hates that, needs something else to happen before you’ll be happy – is a dysfunctional way to live. Rather than dwelling on past and future events and resisting the present moment, you’ll best find peace and happiness through living in the now, the current moment. Being present.

What on earth does this have to do with parenting and dating? A lot.

If you’re pissed off about your circumstance – being a single parent, being divorced, lacking a relationship, enduring online dating, lacking booty, lacking intimacy, having a sexy moment interrupted by kids, feeling your opinions attacked, whatever it is – and you’re wanting, craving, lashing out, demanding change, then you’re stuck in thought and missing out on the simple joy of Being.

As Tolle writes, The joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, possession, achievement, person, or event - through anything that happens. That joy cannot come to you - ever. It emanates from the formless dimension within you, from consciousness itself and thus is one with who you are.

This doesn’t mean your situation won’t or can’t get better. It just means for right now, life is what it is. You exist. Why not enjoy it? Stop minding so much.

There are tons of books on learning to live a heartfelt life. What I like about A New Earth is Tolle’s mix of philosophy and straight-forward advice. For instance, he suggests when a parent is with a child, if the parent can be alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is – then you make room for Being. You stop being a father or mother, and you become Presence, beyond form, the timeless I Am. When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself. Applied here, it sounds like a prescription for getting along with and loving your kids.

These concepts may be heady stuff for anyone who hasn’t delved into spirituality, especially Eastern modes of thought. But Tolle breaks it down further, suggesting there are three modes to help you enter life through the present moment, and align your life with the creative power of the universe.

• Acceptance – accept life as it is. Don’t assign blame. This doesn’t mean things can’t or won’t change for the better. It simply encourages a stillness to emerge. That peace is consciousness. Consciousness is your own responsibility, and it’s the first step toward self awareness.
• Enjoyment – enjoy what you’re doing. Don’t wait for something joyful to happen. You don’t need an event to occur. Joy is an aspect of Being. Infuse your activities with joy. It comes from within you. Allow yourself to feel that deep sense of aliveness.
• Enthusiasm – this is joy directed toward a goal. You’ll feel intensity and energy behind what you do. That's the universal spirit. If the goal becomes more important than enjoying what you are doing, you’ll feel stress.

Things, emotions, thoughts, struggles – these come into our lives, seem all-important for a time, then disappear, dissolving back into the nothing-ness from which they arose. Resistance is futile and leads to intense unhappiness. Non-resistence brings freedom.

So - got a pile of dishes to do and no spouse to do it for you? Don’t bemoan your lack of a partner, or the present mess. Accept that you’re on your own right now. Enjoy the act of creating a clean and healthy environment for you and your kids.

Friday night and no date? Embrace it. Pay attention to sites, smells, sounds around you. Maybe you’ll read a good book, hit a coffee house, have fun at a bar, meet someone new at the supermarket. You won’t do any of those if you’re sulking, angry at the past, wanting a different future.

Cranky kids got you down? Acknowledge they are young, immature, childish. Be happy and grateful they are exploring their lives and surroundings, discovering their feelings, dealing with emotions, whatever it is. They are living. You are present.

I can’t possibly boil down Tolle’s book into a single blog post, but hopefully I’ve given a fair overview. It’s definitely a good read. And on that note, it’s time to get off my new-age soap box. Dad’s House will now return to non-Oprah programming.

(Is texting an ex for booty okay if it’s done with joy and enthusiasm?)

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Single Parent, Empty House, Full Life
• How to Date Four Women at Once
• Tantric Sex (Dad's House post on Silicon Valley Moms Blog)

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