Funny Pictures at AngelzFunnyz.com

Got to put in my "weird, strange and funny" Tattoos or it wouldn't be me :-) Think they can get a job??


Funny Pictures at AngelzFunnyz.com

Got to have my cute animals too!

And to end with something completely different....

DUSTYBOYZ

Dustyboyz is: Mark Angelil...

and Cliv Tyron

အုိး...ေတာ္ေတာ္စားခ်င္လာၿပီ... ရုိက္လုိ႔မျပီေသးဘူးလား.....

ေအာက္မွာ ပုံေတြက်န္ေသးတယ္ေနာ္....

ဟာ... ေရခဲမုန္႔ ဘယ္ေရာက္သြားပါလိမ့္..... :(

အခု ေရခဲမုန္႔ ကိုင္တဲ့ လူက ေတာ္ေတာ္ေခ်ာတာဘဲ.......

မေန ႏိုင္ေတာ့ဘူး .. စားျပီေနာ္..... ရွလုု....

ဒီလုိ ပါးစပ္ကို အက်ယ္ၾကီးဖြင့္ ျပီးစားရတယ္....

စားမလား ...ေရာ့.... ျမန္ျမန္လာေနာ္ ေတာ္ၾကာအေရေပ်ာ္ကုန္မယ္.....

[audio http://boxstr.com/files/2592180_s489x/020708pingpong.mp3]

Asta vad eu in fiecare zi pe laptop la birou :) Ma invidiaza cineva? :)

[audio http://boxstr.com/files/2592220_d6byc/020708ticklemymuttons.mp3]

the muttons are back yet again for another ep of "R U Stupid?!"

[audio http://boxstr.com/files/2592219_vispy/020708rustupid3.mp3]

Dummidumbwit: sometimes, it's bigger, slower and I use Abexo cleaner cause it's just registry not the other crap and so is faster and it's the registry thats the key?
AADD Carrot-Top: u need to defrag your registry as well
AADD Carrot-Top: lolz, bet you neva have
Dummidumbwit: KISS is apllicable to PC's also and you are in violation of KISS eternally (Keep It Simple Stupid)
AADD Carrot-Top: lolz
Dummidumbwit: Abexo
AADD Carrot-Top: id tend to agree with that, sounds like malware
AADD Carrot-Top: from eastskis, sloboskies
Dummidumbwit:: I linked you to it once, it's freeware
AADD Carrot-Top:: dont care to go there tenx tho, ty for ur input
Dummidumbwit: I got avast, ccleaner but I got spyware doctor
AADD Carrot-Top: ur english teacher would rap ur wrists for that last outburst
Dummidumbwit: and abexo
AADD Carrot-Top: Philistine
AADD Carrot-Top: barbar
Dummidumbwit: Philistines are high test scorers?
AADD Carrot-Top: the culture! not the race
AADD Carrot-Top: u fuck
Dummidumbwit: protocols of the elders of Philistine
AADD Carrot-Top:: start scoring em
AADD Carrot-Top: fucker
AADD Carrot-Top: thats the book bob handed me after i spoke some about mossad,: when i was in nyc
AADD Carrot-Top:: ffs

Dummidumbwit: Goddamn Phoenicians are in Wall Street, Hollywood and DC

Dummidumbwit: sinister plot
Dummidumbwit: Omar Bradley was their leader
Dummidumbwit: goddamn Lebanese
Dummidumbwit: goddamn Samaritans, out to rule the world
Dummidumbwit: Hit ties, Canaanites, kill em all
AADD Carrot-Top: yup, mow em all down pilgrim
Dummidumbwit: If we get this mad in the middle, no wonder Farrakhan and Wright are going nuts
Dummidumbwit: It's the yellow man's burden to tame us savages
Dummidumbwit: Lest we go off killing Jews and Celts again for shits and giggles
Dummidumbwit: Look over there, I thought I saw a monk!!!!
Dummidumbwit: I'll wipe my ass with your Latin books
AADD Carrot-Top: l0lz
AADD Carrot-Top: w0t about mah Greek before 1453?
Dummidumbwit: didn't bother Germans and Swedes
Dummidumbwit:: Can't tell if it's Latin or Greek anyway, just Toilet Paper
Dummidumbwit: We saved the Indian books with pictures of the 8 titted women
Dummidumbwit:: more picture books!!!! and Pop up books
Dummidumbwit: pop
Dummidumbwit: no pop
Dummidumbwit: a full circle
AADD Carrot-Top: lolz
AADD Carrot-Top: you are fuckin mad
AADD Carrot-Top: u need more than just pop,: thats for gd sure
AADD Carrot-Top: Jesus
AADD Carrot-Top: pop and lith perhaps
AADD Carrot-Top: lithpop
Dummidumbwit: no longer malodorous off to the store I go
AADD Carrot-Top: heh, i am vile odorous,: go thee forth, impose thy will upon the store!

A FEW HOURS LATER A SAMPLE OF OUR USUAL, LESS ELEVATED CHATS

AADD Carrot-Top: u fuckin putz
Dummidumbwit: cunt dripping

AADD Carrot-Top: you wouldnt remember that

Dummidumbwit: vaginal secretion

AADD Carrot-Top: lolz
AADD Carrot-Top:: u should just sleep in the fridge during the day,: or some shiz, jizz
AADD Carrot-Top: sleep in your own jizz,: frozen,: then you could like sell it
AADD Carrot-Top: and buy a fuckin a/c,
AADD Carrot-Top: u fuckin brainrot,: ur gonna die,: ur gonna die for that
Dummidumbwit: sentient douche bag
AADD Carrot-Top: i thank the stars eberday that u were fuckin squatted out

This time, however, I intended to get myself a box of powdered milk.  It's much more economical than spending around 30 pesos everytime I felt like drinking milk.

I was prowling along the milk aisle when a white-coated lady sporting a wide smile and a plastic ID tag saw me and headed purposefully in my direction.  She immediately asked me for my age.  I immediately thought:  "Oh goodie!  I won one of those things.  A bowl perhaps?"

So I answered.  "I am, ummm, 25."  (I really had to think about it.  I always think of myself as a year older so I had to subtract one from what I thought my age was).

The lady suddenly began a long-winded spiel about how I'm already an adult (duh, like I don't know it every time I look at my face in the mirror and everytime I have to pay bills and send money home), and that I should not look for full cream milk or filled milk which are all - GASP - fattening!

I looked properly horrified, as if I had not just guzzled some Bear Brand Sterilized milk before I left home for the mall.  She went on and on about how adults should look - not for low fat milk but for NON-FAT milk.

Oooookay.  My face was becoming plastic with the effort of trying to hold on to my smile.  To cut her lecture short, I asked her which of the milk brands available she recommends.  She immediately said, "Ma'am, you should get yourself some Nesvita milk."

Figures!!! Now that I looked properly, she was wearing a Nesvita ID tag.

I was actually intending to get this very same brand before the lady interrupted my musings so I gratefully sighed and smiled and said, "I thought so."   That was her cue to leave me alone and bug someone else.

But the lady was not finished.  She got a carton of Nesvita Milk off the shelf and said, "This is the Nesvita Proweight.  This is not only low-fat, but non-fat."  She introduced each and every one of the Nesvita variants on the shelf.  She told me things about the products.  I can't be sure but it seems to me she was reciting the information found at the back of each box.

She then asked me for my body weight.  I told her.  She did not believe me, apparently, for she asked me to step on the bathroom scale she had ready.  She then asked me for my height.  I gave it to her.  She did not believe me once again and gave me her own estimate of my height.  Then she asked me for my name.  I thought, if she was not going to believe anything I say, why say any more?  So I refused to answer.  I also refused to give her my contact number and address.

Trying to gain credibility, she told me she is a nutritionist from Nesvita.  I still refused to give her more information.  Defeated, she turned to what she had so far.  A gleam suddenly lit her eyes; she seemed to anticipate what was still to come.  In a perfectly grave voice, she said:  "You really should buy Nesvita... because you are OVERWEIGHT!!!!"

I actually got the term in before she did, but it didn't seem to matter.  She then tried to smooth over her uber-taklesa comment by saying:  "It's just two kilos, anyway" then ruined it once more by saying, "but your ideal weight is 6 kilos less your current weight."

I wonder how long the lady has been working for Nesvita.  I don't think she will last very long if she is this tactless.  I didn't mind, for I have long accepted that fact.  I wonder how others would react though, he he.  I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she tells a really big person "You're overweight."  he he he :lol:

And just for the record, I checked the label on the Nesvita box.  It's really not non-fat.  It still has a bit of fat content so I guess it's just - GASP - low fat!

Okie..the sisters a side. What was shocking for the wedding was..When we reaching the car park of the bride's house. We horn to make our presence known. *ahem* thats a traditional. But little did we know we r expecting something  out of the NORM happening!

What happen was......................... some bloody #$%@^% farker threw an egg down and hit our car! KNNBPCB.....was wat Bob shouted. We coun't identify which household threw the egg down!

NEXT...one DAD from the 2nd story shouted at us and give us the hell of a lecture. Bob still being traumatize by the egg that hit his car rebuke back by asking hit to make a police report since he could see our number plate.

THE POINT OF MY STORY IS....what kind of sick place is SERANGOON? Why is the community so SICK BRAIN!!
Are there some much singles or divorce or broken family living around there that hated marriage this much that they have to crash it!
KNNz,,,,this is definietely one hell of a wedding I'll remember for a long long time!

Sigh.......1 quote i came up with for this wedding....always a brother never the groom! mauahhaa!

As a former William Morris agent, booking some of the biggest stars in country music, and as a session singer singing many commercials like Fox TV, UPN ID spots, O’Charleys and many others, I am well acquainted with the jingle market, the ups and downs, and the difficulty of entering the commercial singing world. For those of you new and those vaguely familiar with this market with a keen interest in this segment of the industry, let me assure you that (1) with the right talent you can succeed, and (2) in order to succeed you will need some pre-determined areas of strengths including, but not limited to a unique voice, a go get it drive, and a great attitude that says I can work with virtually anyone, with an easy going temperament, without copping an “attitude.” I will give you a brief overview and some helpful starting tips, hopefully steering you in a direction for greatest success. For more information, you may visit www.reelmusician.com, a great source for singers who need a unique individual jingle demo reel to present to jingle and advertising houses and those who would like an overview of the jingle singing market. A Free “Jingle Singer’s Guide” is also available by visiting this website.

To begin with, a great voice is described in many ways, but let there be no mistake about it - Your voice must be credible and unique and/or be an incredible blender voice that melts in with any group of singers on any given session. Vocal coaching for jingle singers is somewhat different than with traditional vocal coaches. Mainly because the end product has to not only catch the vibe of the given spot, but each and every word counts – Funny how those advertising executives like to hear each word of their products. Those trying to enter the country or pop fields as an artist, usually have a harder time with singing commercials, because the slightly lazy diction in a song demo, while possibly viewed as the greatest thing since sliced bread to a record or production company, doesn’t fly in a commercial. A professional vocal coach working with singers interested in singing jingles also must teach a singer to sing wrong, right - You read correctly. To sing a commercial with incredible intensity and with a gritty voice, is hard on the vocal cords. In a sense you are singing on the top of your vocal cords and one can burn out and do damage to their vocal cords if proper instruction is not obtained. Unfortunately, many vocal instructors out there have either a traditional vocal background teaching methods that really aren’t up to par with the dynamics of the jingle singer’s needs, or don’t fully understand jingle singing in general, in order to truly coach a singer effectively in this market. Find a qualified vocal coach!

Attitude is everything you’ve probably heard. This holds true for the singer entering the jingle singing market as well. Jingle houses, other singers, and advertising agencies alike don’t put up with the “artsy fartsy” know it alls. You have to get in there with a great attitude and get the job done. This amongst other things will maintain a full singing calendar when you get rolling. A great attitude often times will cover a session where vocally you might not have been totally up to par, but you’re well liked, easy to deal with and deliver the singing goods. Don’t under estimate a great attitude. Individuals who are not your direct competition usually don’t mind, and in fact like to help individuals succeed who they know won’t embarrass them and who have the talent with a great attitude.

The next item a jingle singer, entering the market, must have is a great sounding jingle demo reel. As already stated, if you are unsure as to where to obtain a great sounding jingle demo reel, visit www.reelmusician.com. A jingle demo reel, for those just entering the market, should contain 5 – 7 jingles with varying styles showing a mastery and unique vocal compilation. While most commercials bend towards a pop contemporary feel, your demo reel needs to be designed and produced in such a way that your voice stands out and is unique, even if you never sing these styles again. It’s the work you’re after, not necessarily if your styles are ever used on your demo. You will want to include styles that stretch who you are while maintaining musical integrity. Some include a song demo that emphasizes a particular style that they want to capitalize on. Don’t be afraid to go for “off the wall” vocal styles. You will want to practice in your car, in the shower, wherever practical, before you put down your final vocal tracks. A closet with your vocal bouncing off the wall back is a great place to practice. If you can record your voice, with a vocal coach or on your own onto a cassette, into the computer, or any recording device for playback evaluation is great. Oftentimes, you will hear that you sound too “ricky ticky” or don’t have enough energy with adequate pronunciation – Better to learn this now before going into the studio and spending hard earned dollars practicing there while you’re actually trying to lay down your master vocal track.

After producing your jingle demo reel you will have to start pitching this to jingle houses, other jingle singers, and any other potential individuals or companies who might take a liking to your reel. Look at production companies who write production music for corporations, book publishers who maintain a roster of authors needing vocals on their children’s books, etc, and various music production houses. It’s generally frowned upon to send your reel to advertising agencies directly, but if you have an in with one, why not drop off a reel. In today’s information age, you might email an MP3 or .WAV file, but obviously, dropping off the reel in person is always the best route to take. Include an insert or CD label with names of jingles, length and styles of each jingle and of course a telephone number and email address. You will want to keep a database as to who, when, where, and misc contact info when pitching your jingle reel. Keep a detailed record with subsequent conversations and comments. Some will consider a second jingle reel to pitch and move across the desk in an effort to rekindle any interest and include styles they have developed further. Don’t be afraid to email or send another jingle reel, even if it’s the same one to a producer who initially showed interest. Let them know that you can and will deliver the singing goods on time and always get along with everyone.

Much can be written on this topic and further information can be obtained by the author and through his website at www.reelmusician.com. Tom Gauger is available for singing consultation, seminars and general vocal coaching – Call 615-300-5030 as time and availability is limited.

About The Author Tom W. Gauger Former William Morris Agent. Jingle singer - Has sung on Fox TV, UPN ID's, O'Charleys and many others. Has co-written song "Who To Love" scheduled for national telecast on the Guiding Light. All Rights Reserved Copyright 2006 tgauger@reelmusician.com

My boss and his lawyers called me two weeks ago and said that I wasn't updating my blog. :? They said I was suppose to update my blog at least twice a week, preferably more. They said if I didn't follow the contract, they'd sue. :( So to my boss and his lawyers, please note that this is an UPDATE. :|

I was, afterall, busy writing my book. Hello.. If I spend all my time blogging, I wouldn't be able to finish my book! :mad:

The book that I'm writing is a secret project that I've been working on for about 4 months. :roll: It's a story about a boy who becomes a teenager and then an adult. I can't reveal the exact storyline but it's very interesting and will make millions in the box-office. ;)

Personally, I think it'll be bigger than Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. Which was so-so. :razz:

My book will be better, more profitable and be made into an Oscar award-winning movie. :D My plan is fool-proof, I made sure 14 times and I googled it 45 times and no one else has thought of it except for him. :o

Nonetheless, if I publish first I'll get the copyrights and all the ka-chings~ Hahaha.. :lol:

So what's the title of my book?

Well, I think I'm going to call it "Harry Potter and the Fellowship of the Ring". :mrgreen:

Oh yes people, you've guessed it, I'm going to combine the Lord of the Rings with Harry Potter! :cool:

"Now you're the first to know~"

I imagine that coming face to face with The Circle of Cats would inspire the kind of awe that Stonehenge inspires. (The actual Stonehenge, not the mini-Stonehenge of "Spinal Tap.")

No one is quite sure when the cats began circling, or why. No one knows if the same group of cats traverse the circle each day, or whether there are substitute cats.

Legend has it that the cats take a short break from their trance-inducing circling for only a few moments each day. During those moments, they are referred to as The Straight Line of Cats Waiting to Use the Litter Box.

Legend also has it that every attempt to coax the cats out of their circling has failed. The story goes that a professional cat distractor from Bulgaria spent an entire day trying to disrupt the circle. Each of his efforts — hanging string from his nipples, juggling rubber squeaky toys, dressing in a rather convincing mouse costume — was roundly ignored by The Circle of Cats.

"That's cats for ya," he was heard to mutter as he walked back to Bulgaria, carrying his giant costume mouse head in hand.

Everyone knows the feeling. That pulsating pressure that slowly expands until your mind cannot focus on anything other than whats going on with your own personal waterworks system. Im talking about that oh-fuck-get-out-of-my-way-I-really-need-to-piss feeling. While it can strike at inopportune times, the feeling of satisfaction that washes over you as you make it rain over the throne is incredible. While it is not my goal to be vulgar or to gross people out, sometimes I just really appreciate an urgent release of urinebrau.  While I cant speak for my female counterparts (or for that weird sound they make while peeing), Im sure most guys can back me up on how wonderful and versatile the act of urination is. Here are nine reasons Ive come up with on why peeing is the unsung male national pasttime.

1. When you gotta go, you gotta go
As stated before, the feeling of relief is second to none, but sometimes one is challenged to find a place for release. Boys learn from a young age, usually from their fathers, that the world is their toilet. The woods, the side of the road, pools, the ocean, parking lots, bushes, flower gardens, dresser drawers, empty classrooms, apartment stairwells, empty bottles, open windows, car tires, and elevators are all places I have utilized in the last few years. Usually I was drinking or already drunk at the time, but that usually makes it seem like that much of a better idea to do so. Plus I didnt even get busted for public urination after hundreds of possible chances. In your face law enforcement. Good guys: 1 Bad Guys: 0

2. Tons of euphemisms
Peeing, pissing, whizzing, taking a leak, draining the vein, bleeding the giant, watering the trees, undrinking, breaking the seal, freeing willy, bargaining with your bladder, squirting in the dirt, writing your name on the wall, making yellow snow, taking a slash, and finally, the weirdest one I found, is to 'see a man...'. It even has its own wikipedia article. Personally, I like to say "taking a leak", even though it makes no sense, it still is understood by all.

3. Different colors mean different things
Im sure youve noticed different colored streams coming out of your johnson at one time or another, and maybe youve wondered what they mean. If youre coming up clear, thats a good indication that your body is well-hydrated and everything is working just fine down there. After your eight Natty at next weekend's party, take the time to look and see if this holds true, because it most likely will. A deep yellow stream means the opposite, that you are dehydrated, so keep pounding those beers, or if youre just a total faggot, keep sipping those Mike's through your swirly straw. Fag. Any other color variation probably means something is all fucked up with your bladder and you probably have a urinary tract infection or some sort of gross STD. So, uh, you better get that checked out.

4. Peeing your pants makes you cool
This is pretty self-explanatory. If you dont recognize this quote, then you probably are a total dork. Who drinks Mike's hard lemonade and gets UTIs.

5. You can write your name on stuff
While most, if not all women are unable to creatively express themselves through urine, aside from disgusting facebook photos of a girl squatting in the street over a runny puddle (seriously...stop posting pictures of this, you are gross), men possess the unique multi-purpose tool called the penis that makes this possible. Although it may only last a few hours before it dries, marking your territory is one of the quintessential guy things. Depending on how well you can control the flow of your own urine (PC muscles arent just for girls) will determine weather your John Hancock looks like practiced penmanship or a mongoloid scribble. I saw on the discovery channel that some African tribes give a dowry of 50 AIDS-free virgins to the ones who possess the strongest urethral control. Well not really, but who knows, Africa is pretty weird with stuff like that.

6. Watersports
While the awesomeness of this is debatable, especially since I would never let anyone pee on me in a sexual way, this really floats some peoples boats. So if youre a hot chick who likes to get pissed on, drop me a line and we'll work something out. Of course, you would be required to shower before I would even entertain the idea of sexual intercourse, but get at me ya freaky bitches.

7. Preemptive gaydar
If you find yourself using a public restroom and notice the guy next to you eyeing your dick up like they are old friends, bam, you know the dude is gay, possibly dangerous, and probably likes Mike's hard lemonade and/or getting peed on. Get the fuck out of there ASAP, but not before you threaten to kick his ass. Unless hes a huge black guy or some sort of husky biker dude, then just back away slowly then run the fuck away. Not that this, uh, ever happened to me...

8. Marathon whizzes
Every once in awhile you take one of those pisses that seems to last forever. Its one of those moments that you only experience by yourself, but in a weird way, it puts a small smile on your face. I cant tell you how much I enjoy those Saturday or Sunday mornings in front of the toilet after a long night of drinking. I think my personal best tops out around a minute and a half. This may sound like a long time and you may be asking yourself "Russ, how can I pee for that long?". Well young padawan, some people are just born with the gift. Plus my four foot shlong can hold a ton of liquid combined with the herculean amounts of beer I can consume. Seriously, its like I have a fire hose in my pants.

9. I dont swim in your toilet so dont pee in my pool
Sorry bro, but if Im in any sort of body of water and I gotta go, Im gonna go. I dare anyone to say that they dont pee in the pool. Or hot tub. Or ocean. Or aquariums. I figure if everyone does it, most likely Im already swimming in some amount of piss, so the least I can do is bring my own flava to the party. A normal swimming pool has tens of thousands of gallons of chlorinated water and by peeing in the pool, you are adding at most 30-40 oz, which is a negligible amount compared to the amount of water. Plus, sometimes the water is cold, so why not warm it up.

I think Im going to go take a leak right now...

-rdfIII

Per la serie meglio soli che  male accompagnati!

“Well-done, Ape!” first cried the Cock as a shiver of absolute pleasure ran through him.

“Bravo!’’ shouted the Donkey.

“Excellent dance, Ape!” said the Bear.

The Elephant shed a tear with deep emotion and shook his head with respect and enthusiasm while the Badger got up and started applauding him respectfully. One by one all the animals followed the Badger, got up and gave a standing ovation to the Ape. Only the Peacock did not get up, not because he didn’t want to, but because he had no legs and was carried wherever he wanted to go by his friends the Ants. The Giraffe almost burst with jealousy and got up to dance. But then, all the animals started to become very upset by the horrible sight and started booing her. The Giraffe’s dancing spectacle thus came to a bitter end amidst the laughter and ridicule of the audience.

“Stop dancing!” first cried the Cock as a shiver of absolute disgust ran through him.

“Sit down you spindly creature!” shouted the Donkey.

“Shame on you, Giraffe!” said the Bear.

The Elephant shed a tear and shook his head with disapproval while the Badger got up and shouted at the Giraffe, waving angrily his fists at him. “You lanky freak!” And all the animals got up and gave a standing ovation to the Badger. Again, except for the Peacock.

“Boo! You moron!” cried the Crab then.

“You dance so hideously, you scurvy Giraffe!” cried the good-hearted Mister Hippopotamus.

“Disgraceful!” cried the Hare wearing his bowler hat.

“You call that a dance, you ludicrous creature?” cried the Locust infuriated.

“You dance ghastly, Giraffe!” said the Frog.

“How more grotesque could you possibly be? You tendril!” wondered aloud the Caterpillar and laughed.

“You gangly creature! You dare to dance! Damn you! Hey, gangly!” cried the Cow then.

“The only thing that is uglier than your dance is your face!” said the wise Owl sarcastically and all the animals had a good laugh over that.

“Booooooooooooo!” hissed then all the Ants unanimously.

The Squirrel was so angry at the Giraffe, and tried to think of a punchy insult to yell at her, but because he did not have a glib tongue and he would always think afterwards of what brilliant thing he could have said, stepped forward and threw an acorn on her head. All the animals cheered enthusiastically for the Squirrel and shouted “Bravo Squirrel! Well done Squirrel!” and picked him up on their shoulders to celebrate.

The poor Giraffe, who had already stopped dancing, sat down feeling very sorrowful in front of the animals that were booing at her. “Woe is me! I am rightly served for dancing after the Ape!” she thought and started weeping disconsolately.

All the animals just stood there and stared at the poor Giraffe crying without feeling any compassion, just anger and shame on her behalf. Only the Snail stepped forward, approached her, stood beside her, turned to the other animals and cried.

“Somebody kill her! Why do you stand there staring at her? Didn’t you all see how badly she danced?”

The first animal to pounce angrily upon the Giraffe was the Pig but the Lion being faster and stronger got to her first and devoured her at one gulp in front of all the animals there.

This candy dispenser looks "exactly" like a Wiimote, except it fires candy out of the spot where the IR transmitter should be. Apparently the instructions suggest that you "Do not aim at face," so... it's kind of like the real thing.

The little beautiful Caterpillar was very very upset because this was the first time something like this was happening. “Could it be that my paint has brushed off?” she thought feeling very sad and turned to see if she was still green. She was greatly relieved for a moment and walked by the pine needle, who was still lying in the exact same spot in the exact same position. It did not whistle again though, not because the Caterpillar wasn’t beautiful but because everybody knows that pine needles cannot whistle. The Caterpillar could almost burst with frustration. “Why doesn’t he pay any attention to me?” she wondered to herself. She dug her heels in and tapped her left feet angrily on the ground. Again, nothing. No movement from the pine needle. It was then that the little Caterpillar fell madly in love with him. “Oh, he is sooooo cool” she thought and stood there looking with her enamored green eyes that fitted her green body that was shivering just by looking at the pine needle. At first, she approached somewhat tentatively and playfully. She closed her eyes, puckered up her green lips and kissed the pine needle. Electricity went through her whole green body.

“So, you have the hots for me?” she said to the pine needle after she opened her eyes and smiled with the smile that only green caterpillars in love have.

The pine needle had not even moved. The little green Caterpillar was turned on. Slowly and softly she began to kiss the pine needle and made her way down.

The heart of the little green Caterpillar was now beating like mad. She looked up and whispered, “Tell me, is this what you want?”

Not an answer still from the pine needle. The little Caterpillar was determined though. She took one breath and thought to herself, “It’s now or never” and said, “This is my first time! I’ve never done this before! Tell me if I accidentally hurt you with my teeth!” and started to lick it gently with her green tongue and then after she got the feel of it she put the pine needle in her mouth as deep as she could trying not to touch it with her teeth.

Still there was no reaction from the pine needle.

“My turn now!” said the Caterpillar very cheekily as she climbed on top of the pine needle and started to rub herself up against it.

She wrapped her legs around the pine needle and continued to rub herself up against it slowly and rhythmically. Soon the pine needle got wet. The little green Caterpillar let out a sigh of pleasure, which she at first tried to muffle. She changed her position. She placed the pine needle behind her and turned her head back to look at it and said in a very leery manner, “You can do with me as you please!”

The pine needle, however, just stood still. The Caterpillar was rubbing herself up against it faster and more intensely and didn’t take long before she screamed, “Yes! Yes! There! There!” and lost just for a few seconds the feel of her green body.

The little green Caterpillar, after she got back her breath, turned and laid next to the pine needle, which remained still. “So this is what true love is like!” sighed the little green Caterpillar and smiled with the smile that satisfied Caterpillars have on their faces. “My mother was right when she told me to wait until I find the right one! She must meet you!” she said happily and laid next to the pine needle for pillow talk.

The little green Caterpillar was happy for the first time in her life.

]]> http://fablespot.wordpress.com/?p=150 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:49:01 +0000 tasospap http://fablespot.wordpress.com/?p=150 The animals of the forest held a beauty contest. The most beautiful of them all would receive a big pine cone as a prize, the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest. All the animals wanted that pine cone. They could not decide though which animals would be in the tribunal committee because there were a lot of vested interests and intrigues, regardless of the fact that at the surface of things everything was peaceful and all the animals smiled at one another and tried to keep things courteous and civil. The beauty contest was a very serious issue to every animal of the forest because the prize was so precious: the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest. The greatest number of entries for the beauty competition came from the Ants, which caused a big problem because they were just too many and very similar to each other, and so a big fight broke out. In the end, after quite a few of them had died, common sense prevailed and after they reconciled, they chosen the most beautiful and slender of them all to represent them in the beauty competition.
As the Ants were fighting though and causing much confusion, the Monkey sprang up and cried, “I am the most beautiful!” With that, she snatched the precious prize, the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest and started running away with it like mad. As her bad luck would have it, though, the Lion caught up with her, grabbed her with his sharp claws, dragged her back by the tail in front of all the other animals, took the pine cone out of her hands, placed it back in front of the committee of the beauty competition and started devouring her slowly. Poor Mrs. Monkey was in excruciating pain and screamed so loudly that you could bet the animals of the neighbouring forest could hear her. As the Lion started eating her, first her hands and then her legs one by one, she continued to scream for help, pleading with the other animals to save her from the Lion’s mouth. All the animals however just stood there and looked at the horrible spectacle coldly and without pity because at the end of the day, Mrs. Monkey’s setback was all her fault because she tried to steal the precious prize, the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest and run away.When the Monkey’s screaming finally stopped forever, the animals joyfully continued the beauty competition peacefully, even though the stakes were high. It was decided that the tribunal committee should consist of

the Owl, the wisest bird in the forest, the Frog because he was experienced in these matters and was a member of all the committees for every competition in the forest, and the Canary because he was the yellowiest animal in the forest and therefore the most suitable for this kind of competition. The competition was tough. All the animals competed with each other naked. There was no swimsuit category this year.They also competed in singing and dancing and that’s why the competition lasted for days. All the animals waited patiently though and stuck around because the prize – the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest -- was so precious and so coveted. The most beautiful animal of all, as it was generally agreed, was the Tortoise, but she did not do very well in singing or dancing and thus she landed in fourth place. The Tortoise was so angry with the committee that she left waving her fist at them and muttering some curse words. Better at singing and dancing was the Locust, but he was so ugly that no animal wanted him to receive the prize of the biggest pine cone in the whole of the forest.

The prettiest animal that danced and sang exquisitely was the Monkey, which all the animals knew. And so they decided to give the prize to the Lion on behalf of the Monkey. The Lion happily stepped forward to receive the most coveted prize on behalf of his dear friend. He graciously thanked the committee for this honor, whereupon all the animals commenced dancing, rejoicing, and celebrating until the next morning when they all returned home feeling very happy.

]]> http://citychennai.wordpress.com/?p=146 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:47:57 +0000 vinodvv http://citychennai.wordpress.com/?p=146 [/wp_caption]

The second line should have contained this word "parcel". This sakthi store is at villivakkam, Annachi is a very friendly guy, but cannot help you with delivery, only parcel.

Technorati Tags: chennai, grocery store, store, funny, city

The Squirrel was very shady, had a very suspiciously bushy tail, moved in a shady way, and all day he sat on tree branches and collected hazelnuts and walnuts. Some animals said that he had dealings with the gangs of the other side of the forest. The little Snail was impressed with the bushy tail of the Squirrel and immediately made friends with him. He too wanted a bushy tail like the Squirrel’s and although he begged and begged his parents to get him one this just couldn’t happen. This led to the big fight with his parents and him leaving home. His father couldn’t bear the pain of his only son leaving home and died. Some say it was because he ate a whole walnut, others – who know – say that he died of a broken heart. The little Snail’s mother started consorting with other animals and took care of them and caressed them at nights for some food crumbs they gave her if she did her job correctly. The little Snail was now happy or at least he thought he was, with his friend the Squirrel. The Squirrel gave him one of his nuts to nibble.

That day the little Snail cried. A lot. In one moment the little Snail had grown up. He remembered then, how happy he was in his old home where he played and sang innocently and joyfully. There was no turning back now. Innocence seemed to be a washed-out memory, he would enjoy from then on, only in his dreams. Shortly after, he began to serve the Squirrel and do odd jobs for him, but the little Snail still thought of him as his dear friend. One dark night, his dear friend the Squirrel, sent the little Snail to do some business with the jackals at the other side of the forest. He betrayed him though and the jackals awaited the little Snail with very cruel and very violent intentions. The poor little Snail, not knowing the danger he was in or knowing that the Squirrel had betrayed him, went to the place where all shady business of the forest was conducted. All the animals of the forest knew what happened there at night, or rather they didn’t want to know and so none of them dared to even come close. There were no witnesses in that place. Not live ones, at least.

The poor little Snail remembered his wise old father who always said to him, “The jackals usually hide behind the trees, my precious little Snail!” and so he approached the meeting place with caution, as quietly as he could. There was no one there -- at first glance. He took a closer look though and saw tails jutting out the trees and immediately became suspicious.

“These must be jackals!” he thought and set out to leave as un-noticed as he came.

The Owl, however, who sat on a branch of the tall oak tree, cried, “Good morning, Snail!”

That was the signal. The jackals that were hiding behind the trees sprang out and started to run after him. The chase