Another Father's Day with the memories and the grief of a lost opportunity.

The Living Years (Rutherford/Robertson)

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

In 1992 my father, Alex, died. It was the end of a long period of loss in my life that haunts me still. I really "lost" my father when I was a young teenager. We just stopped talking and I began to learn to live alone without an adult mentor.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

My father was my hero. I was the eldest son and I suppose I cherished that early experience of "first claim" to his love and attention. In the shrine I designed to his memory there are two photos of Dad and me, just the two of us. They are the only photos ever taken of just us two. In one he is holding me  as a new babe and gazing down into my eyes. The other is a classic of Dad supporting me on his old "28 inch" bike with me in a baby dress of a typical one year old of the era!!! The bike was a great symbol of those early years. I have so many happy memories of Dad taking me for a "dink" sitting on the bar while he peddled. I still remember the nervous thrill of riding that same bike before I could even reach the seat. Somehow, once I learnt to ride on my own everything changed.

My father gave me inspiration. His faith was a traditional Catholicism with a passion for the poor and the marginalised. He would often take me with him to his voluntary work at the night shelter for the homeless in Geelong. Later in my teens I remember being in awe when I heard a testimonial to Dad and stories I never knew were made public of his commitment to the work of "Vinnies"

Our relationship was a strange bonding through unspoken words. I was a headstrong adolescent with a fiery temper that must have worried him. I was also an inquisitive young gay boy which I suspect he knew and carried inside with great anxiety and fear. Our religion and our culture didn't allow us to explore the curiosity and libido inside me.

I miss my Dad, I miss all we could have been for each other. As he lay dying the  "Living Years" lyrics were all around me like a spirit calling me to face the loss of so much. His funeral was a great tribute, but they didn't play the song he had always wanted: Nearer My God to Thee.

Though like the wanderer,
The sun gone down,
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone,
Yet in my dreams I'd be
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!

I am like my father in many ways. I have his strength and resilience. I have his passion and I suspect I share much of his quiet reserve about his inner life...........yet in a way this writing is a long step from "quiet reserve"!! He served in Borneo and  PNG during WWII. Yet he never marched in an ANZAC parade and never really spoke of what happened to him during those frightful years. We both hide much of our lives deep inside where no-one has access, except perhaps the spirit of healing who alone can break through the heavy heart .RIP my loving Dad. I miss you still.

TA week after my father died, my youngest brother, Gerard, married. The memories of piggy-backing my youngest brother to bed and our friendship across eight years of difference has also changed with the passage of time. As a gay man who came out late in a very conservative family I have had to learn to live alone in lots of ways. Neither our religion nor our family heritage encouraged difference. Sometimes it's tough being the "Rainbow Sheep" in the family.

For breakfast this morning I used the 'foreign' ginger, along in the breakfast from yesterday, but added eggs into the mix. Still a hit, even better I'd put forward. Today however was about transition. I'd finished my fast of all things foreign, and no longer had to act as though I was a shopkeeper from Royston Vassey. I've found over the last few days, I've been genuinely excited about finishing this experiment, and being able to eat foods without restriction. I think the whole experience has made me more aware of how much I value food, and more so variety of food. I have to say, while I think the principles of the locavore movement are very worthy, I'd find it hard to commit to it indefinitely. I enjoy food too much for that. However, as we discussed in class, this wasn't meant to be an excerise in creating hardcore locavores. It was more, that by going through the experience, for what really isn't a long period in the scheme of things, it makes you, and the people around you more aware of the world of food, and all the baggage that goes along with it. How much of it will stick afterwards depends on the individual. I'm going to post a more indepth reflection on the whole shabang later in the week, so if your interested stay tuned...

But to wrap up the day I thought a little celebration was in order. We're having a local pot luck meal in class this friday, so instead I decided to a have a celebratory transitional meal. First stop, Victoria Markets. Well with the end of exclusive local eating, meant that I was to re-enter the food matrix of the Glenferrie estate. For the last month, I've been something of an outcast, with my 'local' meals and quarantined food. My other housemates had their fun offering me forbidden foods, and I responded by segregating my bits and pieces. Now however I'd re-entered the fold, and it was time to restock the larders. The vegetables, were mostly local expect for some oranges. Things such as cheap, quality bread and chocolate, that till now had been strictly off limits, was picked up. My brief foray into the world of organics is over for the foreseeable future. A big slab of beef was purchased, origin unkown, other then Australian, along with a flagon of olive oil, sourced from Italy. Another of the contraband, coffee was bought. This was blended and packed in Preston, here in Melbourne, but your guess is as good as mine to where the actual beans originated from.

So the meal was prepared, and well the table would've been set if we had one. A mixture of local and not so, there was roast beef with a range of roast vegies. All the vegies were in season, and mostly locally sourced. The oil however was from Italy. The garlic used to season the vegies and meat, was local. The salt, not so I think. The mixed herbs where from several places unknown. The beer was Australian, though brewed across the southern strait, down in Launceston.

After dinner was where it really strayed from the local. Coffee, and also chocolate (from France), but with a local Baram orange, while not 'local' its more local then France. It was a pretty decent meal though, and I'm glad to have gone through the the locavore experience, but to be done with it. I wonder how long it will take me to fully slip back into my old eating habits, pre the local explosion. We shall see...

10.20am
Here is a pic of the audi hire car

Good idea, wrong beer

11.25am
The view from our seats

Alright the first challenge for the day is working out where the fuel door release button is so that we can fill the car up before we take it back.

1/2 Cat in his Go-cat!

Quarter time
Gee 21 v Kan 27

Half time
Gee 66 v Kan 40

3rd Quarter time
Gee 88 v Kan 58

Final
Gee 115 v Kan 82

For other infomration on Geelong simply visit the Geelong Website here : Geelong

A teacher at Bellarine Secondary College in Drysdale, near Geelong, arrived at the school on Sunday to find three of its agriculture and horticulture program animals butchered.

One of the animals, a pregnant rabbit, belonged to a teacher and the other two were guinea pigs.

It has been reported that a group of teenagers with torches and dogs were seen in the vicinity of the school, near Geelong, on Saturday night. (news)

31/7, Thursday: Well today's my biggest day of uni, and I'm never so keen on the morning wake up as I work Wednesday nights. But today I actually got up when my alarm went off, rather then snoozing it for an hour. Maybe all this local food's doing some good? Well I'm trying different food combinations at least. For breakfast I stir fried in a bit of butter, some broccoli and ginger. Then I put this in a bowl with yoghurt and the left over peaches cut into chunks. I know it sounds a bit odd, but it actually tasted pretty good.

During my lunch break at uni I headed up to the markets. I sussed out some local potatoes, and then headed to the yellow umbrella grocers to grab few things. Got a some more mushies (only $4/kg today) and broccoli ($3/kg). But the exciting stuff was the mandarines(only $2/kg, I know its crazy but we've got to clear stock, its all got to go!) They were from Geelong, and pretty tiny, but taste auesome, especially as I've had hardly any fruit or sweet stuff or nearly a week. Its great to be able to have something to eat that you don't need to prepare.

Next I sussed out the fishmongers. I headed to the stall I usually buy from and explained my situation. They said because of the dredging nothing is fished within the bay, and all there fish was from Vic, but outside the limit. However they did have mussels from Geelong, and for only $5/kg I decided to grab a kilo.

I also tried to suss out some local olive oil cos I love that stuff, I rekon I could drink it. I asked at one of the delis in Vic Market and they had some. Its produced along the Great Ocean Road. But its pricey as! For 250mL it was something ridiculous like $12! There was 1.5L for $35, which isn't so bad, but still a bit steep. I'm used to getting stuff from the Wholesalers near uni thats 4L for $20, so I'm going to hunt around a bit more. Good to know that there's local stuff about though.

My sister has been staying with me this week, she's in town doing a teaching course and will be heading off on Tuesday to go to Argentina. So tonight I thought we'd have a celebration dinner before she headed off. So on the menu tonight was mussels cooked in wine with chilli and ginger, with sides of mashed potato and parsley and stir fry vegies. Then for dessert we had some mandarines from Geelong. I think it's been the best meal so far.

The Geelong Motor Inn & Serviced Apartments is just a 300 metre walk to the Corio Bay Boardwalk and  Geelong Waterfront restaurants, cafes and attractions

Along The Great Ocean Road you will experience vast cliffs, the majesty of the Twelve Apostles, thundering surf beaches, pristine beaches, tranquil bays and lush bush. We hope you holiday along Victoria's Great Ocean Road.