-- Micah 6:8

A key word there ^^ is with. We are called to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Him. Doing what He does... being like Him... the just, merciful and humble God. We have to abide in the vine... for we can do nothing without Him (John 15:4-5). We have no good apart from Him (Psalm 16:2).

He is the One who has His throne founded on righteousness and justice (Psalms 89:14, 97:2). He is the God who is slow to anger (Exodus 34:5... among others... go Biblegateway 'slow to anger')... and does not stay angry forever but delights to show mercy (Micah 7:18)!! The King of glory who laid aside His glory to come and show us what love is (Psalm 24:8, Philippians 2:6-11, 1 John 3:16)... oh, the humility!

... and when I see Him I'll be like Him (1 John 3:2)... so oh, that my eyes would be opened to see Him as He is... that I would act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God.

Open up your eyes
Then you'll realise
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love

Do we not realise how wide (all-encompassing---for everyone---even you), how long (everlasting), how high (beyond human comprehension), how deep (unfathomable---were we to have all eternity, there would still be more to search) is the Love of God.  As I sat in the bus this morning, I was impressed that God himself is singing this very song to humanity, this unrequited love song and invitation to marriage

Need you by my side
Girl to be my bride
You'll never be denied
Everlasting Love

You'll never be denied.  Gods promises are for everyone.  Come all who I thirsty and drink of the waters of life, says Jesus.  Come as you are, surrender your heart and be a part of me.

From the very start
Open up your heart
Be a lasting part of
Everlasting Love

When we surrender our hearts to Jesus, when we give him our lives and experience His everlasting love, which is freely given to all humanity, our lives have meaning and purpose as we allow Him to transform us by renewing our mind.

Contrast this to what life might be without Jesus (or without the daily renewal we need from the Holy Spirit, or what happens when we knowingly disobey God).

Another song on the bus:

Sitting in the morning sun
I'll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
And I watch 'em roll away again

[Refrain]
Sitting on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay
Wasting time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I had nothin to live for
And look like nothing's gonna come my way

So I'm just...
[Refrain]

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same

Sittin here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

"...Your wickedness will punish you; your backsliding will rebuke you. Consider then and realize how evil and bitter it is for you when you forsake the LORD your God and have no awe of me," declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty

The passage we studied in morning worship this week was Ephesians 2:1-10:

Don't you love it when the Lord says something to you, and then says it again? :) Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!

Saturday, about 20 of us headed to Chop Point for the annual Swiftwaters Music Festival. What a beautiful day! The weather was gorgeous (even if it was hot), the setting was amazing, the fellowship was sweet, the artists were fantastic, and the Lord was awesome in that place!

We enjoyed the Seacoast Community Church worship team, and Undue Favor and Andrew Carleton. Matthew West was incredible (as always), but it seems as though each year there's something that just moves me to worship. This year it was Brandon Heath.

In light of the Truth God spoke to me last week, this song in particular was moving. I sat with my eyes closed and hands lifted up in worship to the God who saved me, and continues to redeem the moments of my life.

Give me your eyes, Lord!

I'd like to hear your thoughts of what you think of it.

I have learned from my own experience that praying is often the most difficult thing to do.  I don't hold myself up as a master of prayer.  In fact, I admit that I have often said these words coldly: "God, have mercy on me."  I prayed that way because I was worried about my own unworthiness.  Yet ultimately the Holy Spirit convinced me, "No matter how you feel, you must pray!"  God wants us to pray, and he wants to hear our prayers--not because we are worthy, but because he is merciful.
(from Faith Alone: A Daily Devotional / LW 12:314)

"...not because we are worthy, but because he is merciful"  Beautiful reminder!

Many times in my life when I have been struggling in a certain area, I have been advised to just try harder to be holy. I grit my teeth and determine that I will not do that thing again but before long, I find myself right back where I started. It seems like the harder I try not to sin, the more I end up sinning.

Last week I was reading in the book of Acts where Paul comes to the city of Ephesus and finds out that the people only knew of the baptism of John. He explains that the baptism of John was for repentance but that there was another baptism into Jesus that they needed to know about (19:1-7). Now, I am pretty sure he was not worried about what ritual they performed, what words were spoken, or how they got wet. He wanted them to understand a foundational fact about salvation. Namely, that salvation does not come from trying to be a better person; it comes from knowing and following a better person.

John’s baptism was all about trying harder. Repent you brood of vipers… That kind of thing. There was no grace. There was no forgiveness. There was just a harsh call to try harder. There was no hope. When Jesus came, things changed. He came to show us we can’t be good enough no matter how hard we try. He came to die in our place and take the punishment for our sin. He came to bring grace not rules. The message of Jesus could not have been more different than that of John.

I am not saying that Jesus told us we could do any sinful thing we want. I am saying HE made provision for our failures and offered to lead us in the ways of righteousness. HE could have been like John and said, “go do better.” Instead HE said, “Come follow ME.” There is a huge difference between rules and relationship. John said “don’t do this or that or God will smite thee…” Jesus said, “don’t do that because it will destroy you and harm our relationship.” I am much less likely to sin when I focus on my relationship with JESUS rather than concentrating on not sinning. After all , the more I think about not sinning, the more I am thinking about sin. When I replace the thought of sin with love for JESUS I am much more likely to live a holy life.

I want to move from the religious baptism of repentance to the life giving relationship of grace. I want to graduate from trying to following. I want to go from fear of GOD to relationship with GOD. After all, fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.

I need to forgive the religious Right.

Just writing that sentence makes my heart heavy. I’m finding it difficult to do what I need to do. Resentment has wedged itself deeply in my mind and heart. I’m not the only one struggling with bitterness. Much has been said about the backlash against the Christian Right. Books like UnChristian and They Like Jesus, but Not the Church highlight the negative perceptions many young people have of Christianity. Our anger at hypocritical and judgmental attitudes in the Church is understandable. Definitely. But, what is often missing from the discussion is how to forgive. As important as it is to express our concerns, if all we do is air our grievances, we have stopped short of our calling as followers of Jesus.

At the recent Exodus conference I was introduced to the new Focus on the Family Gender Issues Analyst, Jeff Johnston. I took advantage of the opportunity to vent my frustrations about the religious Right. Somewhere in the midst of my venting, he slipped in the question, “How are you going to forgive a system?” Implying 1) I needed to forgive and 2) the religious Right is comprised of people. “Jeff,” I asserted with exasperation, “It's not just individuals, it’s the system! The whole fundamentalist culture is screwed up!” He listened and reassured me his department is striving to be part of the solution and not the problem. He welcomed any constructive feedback I might have about their program. I thanked him. Then, walked back to my room and tried not to brood over his question.

Jeff is right, you can’t forgive a system. Truthfully, I have preferred it that way. I don’t want to forgive. My focus on “the system” allows me to detach from the humanity of my opponents. Just as many ultra-conservatives broad-brush LGBT people in one swipe as they rally against the “nameless, faceless gay agenda,” so also I do the same with the religious Right. I’m angry, and it’s easier to be angry at a system than to forgive real people. It’s easier to broad-brush the whole conservative bunch and rail against the abstract “religious Right.” But, systems and cultures are created by individuals—people I am called to love. All of us want to assume there is some loophole to Jesus’ command, “Love your enemies.” Many ultra-conservatives justify their unkindness toward gay activists, so also I make excuses for my attitude toward fundamentalists. In the end, I am no better than those I oppose.

Forgiveness comes with a price—painful vulnerability and the swallowing of our pride. But, it also comes with a profound gift. Forgiveness enlightens us to God’s mercy. Until we have wrestled with the anguish of forgiving deep wounds, we have not understood the great cost of Christ’s crucifixion. When we forgive, we partake in his suffering. God once lamented, “I have spread out My hands all day long to . . . a people who continually provoke Me to My face” (Isaiah 65:2-3). It is a vulnerable thing to hold out our hands to those who hurt us. Yet, that is what God did for us, and that is what it means to be imitators of him. Consider these truths:

• “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us . . . we love because he first loved us” (I John 4:10, 19).
• “God demonstrates his own love toward us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8)
• “While we were enemies, we were reconciled to God” (Roman 5:10)
• God is “kind to ungrateful and evil men” (Luke 6:35-36).

What would it look like to be the first to love even when love is not returned? What would it look like to reconcile ourselves to our enemies even as we are rejected? What would it look like to be kind to those who are cruel? I admit this is where I panic. Some part of me believes the myth that forgiveness is pretending everything is okay, as though the offenses are not truly offenses. But, forgiveness does not mean we approve of the wrong-doing of others or that we cease to encourage positive change. Rather, it is this: we care about our opponent enough that, instead of seeing them as enemies, we see them as friends who have yet to come home. In forgiving, we put away the walls that encumber that hoped for homecoming. Such forgiveness melts our anger into sad lament as our hearts long for the welfare of our enemy more than our own vindication.

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to begin forgiveness. I decided to start with a walk. I made my way around the neighborhood block this week, verbalizing forgiveness toward every person in the religious Right with whom I feel angry. I mentioned each person by name and asked God to let me feel his heart toward them. As I did, I sensed God asking me to let go of condemnation, and instead pray fervently for their transformation. I also sensed my own sinfulness; not self-condemnation, but a sadness that I am unlike my merciful Father. Still, even knowing where I want to be doesn’t mean I will arrive today or even tomorrow. The hurt and anger I feel isn’t going away over night. I expect I’ll be taking a few more walks in the coming weeks. But, forgiveness will come. I know it will.

Friends, whether it is a religious Right activist or a gay activist we need to forgive, our struggle to do so reveals how far we all need to go to become like Jesus. God, please help us.

See http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/archbishop-pelosis-comments-on-abortion-are-false-2008-08-25.html

Pelosi claimed that the church has not been able to come to a definition as to when life begins.

Even if this were the case (and it is not), wouldn't wisdom dictate that you err on the side of caution? On the side of life?  Because if you don't and you are wrong, wouldn't you be commiting murder?  

And what is Pelosi doing having religious dialog in context of public policy anyway? Isn't this a violation of the mythic "separation of church and state" that she and other liberals so desperately attempt to live by?

I digress. 

The point is this: the Bible clearly states that murder is wrong and that conception (life) begins the moment the egg is fertilized.

I know what you are thinking.  The murder statement is a no-brainer.  One need look no further than the 10 Commandments for that answer.  But come on!  Where in the Bible does it say when conception occurs?

I'm glad you asked that question.  Here is the answer.

Turn to Genesis 38 and read the whole chapter.  I won't recite to you all the details of this facinating story, but suffice to say that Judah slept with his daughter-in-law Tamar.  Note verses 18 and 19:

Genesis 38:18-19 (KJV) 
^{18 ...} and came in unto her (as in sperm), and she conceived by him.
¹⁹ And she arose, and went away, and laid by her vail from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.

See the order in which this happened?

1) He came into her

2) She conceived

3) She arose and went away

So we see a child is conceived almost instantly.

The Bible put emphasis on conception.  In Luke 1:31 the angel says to Mary, "And behold, thou shall conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shall call His name Jesus."

Now consider this.  The Bible makes it clear that we are made in the image of God. 

The Bible also makes it clear that all people are born with a plan that God has for them, whether they have Down syndrome or not.  The Bible says we are all made for the glory of God.

1 Cor 2:9 - "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him."

Psalm 139:13 - "For you (Lord) did form my inward parts; You (Lord) did knit me together in my mother's womb.

Jer 29:11 - "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future."

A hope!  A future!

Abortion is hopeless and futureless.

In closing, there are two sets of folks I want to address.

Those who are thinking about having abortion - Please consider this writing. Please seek help.  No matter what your situation or circumstances, there is a way through.  There are folks just waiting for someone like you because they want to help you and show you the love of Jesus.  They want to help you through the whole process of pregnancy, birth and what comes afterward.  There are programs in your area that can help you have and raise children or even help you put them up for adoption.  When there is a will, there is a way...

To those who have had abortion - you have probably beaten yourself real good.  And you are probably expecting me to beat you some more.  But I'm not here to judge or condemn you.  I'm here to let you know there is hope of restoration. Jesus said that he came not to condemn you, but that through Him you could be saved. Know this - your aborted child or children are in Heaven. They are there waiting for you.  If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, please do so today.  Don't delay.  If you don't know how, find a local Christian church (not Christian Science, Mormon or Latter Day Saints please), and talk to the pastor. Or a Christian friend.  If you have no one, send me an email and I'll help you any way I can.  In Jesus Christ, you will find forgiveness, restoration and freedom.   May God bless you.  Email me at cudweeds@gmail.com

Heb 5:1-3 NIV “Every high priest is selected from among men and is appointed to represent them in matters related to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people.”

It can sometimes be such a struggle for people to believe that they have something to offer others in life. On one hand the ego or pride of a person makes great boasts about who they are and what they can do, yet on the inside, they really feel lacking in their ability and knowledge of how to make a difference in life. Even if a person has great skills and abilities, to have a core value belief that God created them to make a difference at some level in this world and to be used of Him - that's difficult for many to grasp.

This past Spring I was in Israel with over a thousand Christians from Christians United for Israel. I am the state director for Minnesota. While we were there, I was with a small group of leaders that had a private meeting with the Prime Minister of Israel and his Foreign Minister. I walked into his conference room at saw my name card on his conference table. A dozen of us were sitting around his conference room table as he was sharing the state of affairs of Israel and the threat of Iran and the distortions of the media concerning Israel. I was focused on every word but this thought went through my head – “Who am I to be sitting at this table Lord?” “Why on earth did you bring me here?” It was a quick and fleeting thought and one I didn’t have time to be distracted by, but, it was real from my heart.

David, the King of Israel and one of the most favored men of God felt that way. As he was one day meditating on the awesomeness of God’s creation he said, “When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you have set in place— what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us? (Psalm 8:3-4) Even David struggled with grasping God using him.

Today's Fresh Manna verses are relating that a high priest in the Old Testament was hand selected by God to mediate between the people and Himself. He was to offer the gifts and sacrifices of the people to God for their sins - including himself. He was also supposed to gently instruct them to know God and His ways while having mercy and compassion on them since he himself needed forgiveness for his sin's and shortcomings.

Jesus was appointed by God as that only true high priest that could once and for all, permanently blot out all our sins. When He initiated the New Testament through his death and resurrection, He then called all that would believe and be reconciled to God through Him – us as believers - priests. Revelation 1:5-6 tells us, "…and from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father to Him be glory and power forever and ever! Amen."

You and I are called many things because we've accepted Jesus Christ. We are called, "washed," we are called "saints," we are called "ambassadors," we are called "ministers of reconciliation." we are called "one with a gift." You may not feel like any of those things but none-the-less you are what God says you are when you become a believer. It's up to you and I to meditate on what God calls us, then recognize that by the Holy Spirit these giftings and callings are within us. As we yield to them by faith and let them be shaped within us, they will eventually spill from us.

I was talking to a young man at our church that greets people as they walk through our doors. He was saying that before he started serving in this capacity, he was a total introvert. He felt that if he joined our Ambassador Minister - greeting people as they entered into church - it might help him change. That is exactly what happened. He yielded to the Lord and transformation happened. It’s hard to picture him as an introvert. Now he seems outgoing, very warm, and kind. People love to be greeted by him. Not only has this blessed people in our church, it has transformed him on the job. Instead of being a laborer, he was promoted to a management position because of his people skills. He credits this all to yielding to God to serve Him.

You and I have been endowed with gifts. 1 Pet 4:10 says, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.” They can come forth from us. How? Just talk to the Lord and stay close to Him through His Word. I assure you that your Pastor needs your help somewhere. Ask the Lord to use you in any way He can. Observe how that opportunity takes shape. Let God work through you when it arrives and ask Him how to improve on it the next time. Do you know what you will see happen? You will see a gift drawn forth from you that begins to take shape. It may be serving, it may be a listening ear with mercy and compassion, it may be wise counsel that the Lord supplies, or it may be praying for others. However God uses you, ask Him for His supernatural help - Him working through you. You are God’s priest. Don’t make that weird. Make it practical as you yield to God and are used by Him!

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt
http://readfreshmanna.blogspot.com/

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2008 Tim Burt, All rights reserved

About the sources used. The readings on this site are not official for the Mass of Roman Rite of the Catholic Church in the USA, but are from sources free from copyright. They are here to present the comparable readings alongside traditional Catholic commentary as published in the Haydock Bible for your own personal study. Readings vary depending on your local calendar.

Official Readings of the Liturgy at – http://www.usccb.org/nab/090308.shtml

The 1^st Epistle of St Paul, the Apostle, to the Corinthians 3:1-9
Haydock New Testament

AND I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual, but as to carnal. As to little ones in Christ, I gave you milk to drink, not meat: for you were not able as yet: but neither indeed are you now able: for you are yet carnal. For, whereas, there is among you envying and contention; are you not carnal, and walk according to man? For while one saith, I indeed am of Paul: and another, I am of Apollo: are you not men? What then is Apollo, and what is Paul? The ministers of him whom you have believed: and to every one as the Lord hath given.

I have planted, Apollo watered: but God gave the increase. Therefore neither he that planteth is nay thing, nor he that watereth: but God who giveth the increase. Now he who planteth, and he who watereth, are one. And every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. For we are God’s coadjutors: you are God’s husbandry, you are God’s building.

Responsorial Psalm 32:12-15, 20-21 (Ps 33 NAB/Hebrew)
DR Challoner Text Only

But the counsel of the Lord standeth for ever:
the thoughts of his heart to all generations.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord:
the people whom he hath chosen for his inheritance.
The Lord hath looked from heaven:
he hath beheld all the sons of men.
From his habitation which he hath prepared,
he hath looked upon all that dwell on the earth.
He who hath made the hearts of every one of them:
who understandeth all their works.
Our soul waiteth for the Lord:
for he is our helper and protector.
For in him our heart shall rejoice:
and in his holy name we have trusted.

The Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ According to Saint Luke 4:38-44
Haydock New Testament

And Jesus rising up out of the synagogue, went into Simon’s house. And Simon’s wife’s mother was taken with a great fever: and they besought him for her. And standing over her, he commanded the fever: and it left her. And immediately rising, she ministered to them. And when the sun was down, all they that had any sick with divers diseases, brought them to him. But he laying his hands on every one of them, healed them. And the devils went out of many, crying out and saying:

Thou art the Son of God. And rebuking them, he suffered them not to speak:

For they knew that he was Christ. And when it was day, going out, he came into a desert place: and the multitudes sought him, and came to him: and they detained him, that he should not depart from them. To whom he said:

I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore am I sent.

And he was preaching in the synagogues of Galilee.

Haydock Commentary 1 Corinthians 3:1-9
Notes Copied From Haydock Commentary Site

• Ver. 3. And walk according to man? As carnal and sensual men, as long as there are jealousies and divisions among you. Wi.
• Ver. 7-8. That planteth you by your first conversion. Apollo watered you by preaching the same truths. — He that planteth and watered, are one, aim at one and the same end. Wi. — According to his own labour. God does not recompense his servants according to the success of their labours, because their success depends upon him alone; but he recompenses them according to their sufferings and diligence in his service; for, whilst he crowns the labour of his apostles with success, he crowns his own work. S. Chrys. — This text most evidently proves that good works proceeding from grace are meritorious, and that the rewards in heaven are different, according as God sees just to appropriate them. The Greek word here employed is misqoV, (merces) or wages. See 1 Tim. v. 18. Apoc. xxii. 12. Matt. xvi. 27. It is by our union with Jesus Christ that our actions, of themselves without value or merit, become gold, silver, and precious stones. A.
• Ver. 9. We are God's coadjutors, labouring in his service, as he hath employed us. — You are God's husbandry, the soil, where virtues are to be planted. You are God's building, the edifice, the house, or even the temple of God; we are employed as builders under God. Wi.

Haydock Commentary Luke 4:38-44

• Ver. 38. It is evident that S. Peter was married; but after his call to the apostleship, he left his wife, as S. Jerom writes, in ep. xliii. C. ii. ad Julianum, and l. i. adv. Jovin. See Matt. xix. 29. Note from Bob: I would love to see this document. Can anyone decipher this?
• Ver. 40. The evangelist mentions this circumstance, because these distressed people did not dare to bring their sick before that time, either through fear of the Pharisees, or of violating the sabbath. Origen.
• Ver. 41. It appears, that when the devil expresses himself thus, it is less through conviction than artifice. He suspected the fact; and to certify the same, he said to him in the desert, if you be the Son of God, change these stones into bread. In the same manner by saying here, you are the Son of God, he wished to give him an occasion of explaining himself on the subject. V. — But Jesus Christ would not accept of the testimony of evil spirits, lest he might be suspected of some intelligence with them, to cause himself to be acknowledged the Son of God. Ibid.
• Ver. 43. From the apparent good dispositions of these people, we might be induced to think, that if Christ had yielded to their solicitations, and remained with them, he could have drawn all to himself; yet he did not choose to do this, but has left us an example worthy of our imitation, in seeking out the perishing and strayed sheep; for by the salvation of one soul, our many sins will be remitted. S. Chrys. in cat. Græc. Pat. hom. in Matt.
• Ver. 44. Our divine Redeemer frequented the Jewish synagogue, to shew he was no seducer. If he had inhabited wilds and deserts, it might have been objected to him, that he concealed himself, like an impostor, from the sight of men. S. Chrys. Ibid.

]]> http://tsunamiblues.wordpress.com/?p=451 Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:52:27 +0000 tsunamiblues http://tsunamiblues.wordpress.com/?p=451 Do you ever have those days when it feels like one bad thing after another keeps happening. When simple things like someone getting an order wrong is the last straw to a never-ending list of wrongs. I am having one of those days. I just expect too much from people and this world. I expect people to use their minds and think before they act. I expect people to do what they say they will. If you tell me you are going to do something then you better do it or have a damn good excuse why you didn't. If you say your going to call, then call.

If there is one thing I hate it is waiting. I hate people keeping me waiting. I do not have and will never find that patience to just let it go. I don't like broken promises and lateness. Is it a crime for people to keep their word? If you know you might not be able to keep it then don't say you will do it. Is it a crime to expect people to be on time? If you cannot be for reasons beyond your control I can understand that, but if it is just because you like to be late then don't have anything to do with me.

Those are just the surface issues of my frustration. I question existence and life. I hear all the time that suffering makes you stronger, but is that true strength? I have suffered a lot and so has my family but are we truly strong because of it. No we are not, we are standing on hollow strength and if a tempest of a storm comes then we will surely shatter under its power. I don't want to be strong all the time, I want to be able to rely on others strength.

I am full of frustrating right now because when my family hurts I hurt too. When my family is being given the short end of the stick, that means I wallow in that pain too. I ask God, how much longer will life be like this? Where everyday is a battle for survival. Where we are always just making ends meet. How much longer will my mother suffer to provide us with a life. How much longer will her body be broken and her confidence destroyed. How can my sister be suffering like this at 23 years old. She should not have to work this hard, she should not have to stress like this. She is a child and yet she has never gotten to enjoy her youth.

Lord, I pray to you all the time and I have to admit that I wonder if you hear me. Is my voice reaching you? Is my soul near to you? Are you surrounding me or am I standing alone? I need you to see me and hear me. I need you to give us a breakthrough. I am asking you Lord for a miracle. A miracle of happiness and peace. Calm these waters so that we can cross and find a new place...a better place and life must exist for us. I know that each person has their pain, but Lord I am me and this is my family and I am begging you with all that is in me to give us a sign that you are with us. We are losing hope and we are barely making it through each day.

It seems like when everything is finally coming together, it begins to break even more. Why is it Lord that suffering is our daily bread? I see so much and it pains me to watch my family suffer. What did my mother ever do to deserve the cruelness of my father? What did my sibling and I do to deserve a man who is nothing like a father in my eyes. What did my precious mother do so that in all these years she has not met anyone who can sweep away the cobwebs my father left and make her see the beauty of love and life. What did we do so that we were given a father who neither loves or acknowledges us. A father who is like a leech sucking the life out of you till you wither and die. Why? Why? Why?

I ask myself all the time why life is like this. I sometimes think maybe we are a cursed family. Why did I have to grow up in the ugliness of this world? Why did I have to grown up without a childhood? Why did I have to be an adult so soon? Why do I have the burdens at my age. In a few weeks I will be 21 years old. So what? Will life finally settle down? Lord I believe in you, but I am having my doubts.

You see my heart so you know what lies within me and sometimes it scares me. I want to have that hope and that faith but lately I am losing both steadily. I lose hope in this world everyday as the cruelness of it grows deeper. My faith is tested in the wake of all these obstacles. The suffering seems never-ending, and the burdens only seem to grow in weight. Please, Lord I want to know that you are near me. That you are my shield and armor. I want to believe that life gets better, that m family won't always be conflicted.

I want to believe that there is beauty in this world. I want to believe and trust in humanity and the goodness of people. I want to believe that my life has meaning beyond trials and that I will triumph over them all. I want to believe that you have a reason for all of this and it will come to light soon. I am desperate to believe in you but Lord the wounds never heal. My soul is scarred and those wounds are too deep to ever give me peace.

There is so much conflict inside of me because of this life. I look around and the tears flood over because I am so tired of being strong. I cannot be the pillar for my family. I am a child, your child please hold me. I am withering in the agony of those around me. What can I do for them? What can I do with my life to make it better for the people I love. Show me, tell me, guide me and I will do it. I will do anything for them so that their lives can be unburdened. If only I knew what to do, please Lord don't let this world destroy me.

Everyday I wake up and I think of the precious mother that you gave me. I think of her and my heart is heavy. How can one person carry so many burdens. How can one person be punished when she had done nothing to deserve it. The sadness that lingers in her is in me Lord. I am her daughter and I am begging you that before you take her from this world show her the beauty of life. Let me sacrifices lead to greatness. Whether that greatness lies within her children let it be in her life. Let her reap the benefits of what she has sowed.

Suffering has not made me strong. I am that leaf blowing in the wind. Shivering from the coldness and unable to settle calmly on this earth. You gave me this life, let there be a reason for it, and let me live it. My tears are a constant companion and I have become a guarded person. The actions of those before have shaped me into this silhouette of humanity. Do not let my future be defined by these tragedies.

I want to believe that this life has meaning and that my existence is for a purpose more than just the painfulness of living.

Lunges are great to help strengthen and tone your legs.  For forward lunges, stand tall with your hands on your hips and step with one leg forward.  Be sure your front knee does not pass your toes.  Then, switch legs.  Make sure to keep your abdomen pulled in tight and your posture straight. 

 I even found a fabulous visual to help you.

If you want to challenge yourself, try a few reps of walking lunges, but watch your alignment.  For an even greater challenge, hold 5-10 pound weights while you walk.    

And of course you need some music keep you moving and Mercy by Duffy (3:40) is the perfect song for lunges.  After a few reps of these, you will find yourself "begging for mercy".

Did you know that an estimated 17,500 may be imported into the USA each year?

Would you believe that 500,000 women are sold into European prostitution each year?

Can you imagine that most are below the age of 18?

Did you know that at least 10 million are victims of trafficking (both sexual and forced labor), and some say the number might be closer to 25 million?

What in the world can we DO about this?

Don't just say this is awful, DO something:

http://www.thehomefoundation.net/ - Started by Natalie Grant to fight sex slavery.

ht: natalie grant

(Info taken from www.thehomefoundation.net and www.nataliegrant.com.)

Looking back upon my relatively short life of 30 years, I can point to a time when even as a sinner, the grace of God was my support. It has led me to a strong belief in prevenient grace, or in the language of the modern vulgar, the preceding grace. Yes, this preceding grace allows for God to call the sinner, but it is more than that, it a grace that lifts a sinner to the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, often times giving the sinner support and surrounding him in preparation of the love of Jesus Christ.

It is this type of grace that uplifted me in during the latter half of 1995. I was 17 then, living in Mississippi with my grandfather - my mother unable to take care of even herself due to alcoholism. On June 23rd of that year, at approximately 2 in the afternoon, I found my grandfather dead, and he had been some time since he had been missing since before dawn. I cannot express to you the love and appreciation that I have for my grandfather that I have to even this day. He was a solid force in my life and even today I think about my short time with him.

I was sitting in Church on Saturday night just a few Months later on September 16th listening to a minister. For the life of me, I cannot remember the sermon, but I do remember thinking to myself that if my mother would but her that message, she would give up her sinful life, which by this time was consumed by alcohol and drugs, and really make a start for God. You see, it was just a few days before that I had told my mother that due to her constant let downs, her constant lies, and her life, I wished nothing else to do with her - going so far as tell her in my triumphant and condescending 17 year old voice that the next time she saw me would be at her funeral and she would lucky if I showed up. That Saturday afternoon, again about 2pm, she crossed the yellow line, killing not just herself, but another person as well. See, I didn't know this as I sat there listening to that sermon about the need for God and praying that I would have a chance to tell my mother about it, praying that she would listen this time. It was not until about 9pm that I was told by my then pastor's wife who had helped to raise me almost from my birth.

Then, in December of that year, my then-pastor's wife was overtaken and destroyed in her battle with cancer. That pastor did not believe in doctors, so for the months, possibly years, that she was being eaten up inside, everyone simply thought that she would get better. By the time that someone finally took her to the hospital, it was too late. She passed quietly from this world in the middle of December. She had always been there for me, and had through her pain comforted me through the death of my grandfather and my mother. A few years before she could see that I was sick and invited me to stay at their house for the night. The next morning, I awoke to a feverish day. Unbeknown to anyone but me, and now you, she took me to town to get me some Tylenol, facing the wrath of her husband, because she felt that common sense easily went along with faith.

It was the previous year that I was fortunate enough to spend some time with my grandfather's sister, my Aunt. We talked for a long time, and as we shared a few things she shared with me the single most important Psalm to her. It had helped her through life's troubles many times.

To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.

O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men. For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain. Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

As I set there and read that, I thought that it was a decent Psalm, really paying no attention to it until the time that I needed it. With each death, and with each reading, that Psalm provided me with strength and knowledge that no matter how bad it was, God was still there. There were times that it seemed that I had made my bed in hell while other times I prayed that I would wake up from the horrible nightmare that had suddenly become my life. No, it was not like my life was all that easy before, but this year, well, this year had shaken me, and often times, even now, I still wonder how I made it through.

There were times after the deaths that life got pretty difficult, and often times I wish that God would have taken the other parent. Often times, during that time, I would wish that God would simply have taken me. But, He took me by the hand and led me to a place of rest. I was serving Him, but I know some of the Truth, some bit about God. I was still a sinner and need of His Grace, but so many times through that horrible years and subsequent years, there was a preceding Grace calling me unto Him, leading me and protecting me.

I still was able to get into plenty of trouble, plenty of heartaches, and plenty of sorrow, but I can stand here today and turning around, see God's grace calling me to Him.

I realize that this is not a normal post on this blog, but it is still my blog and I am still finding it's voice. Grace is what Jesus Christ brought first of all - not doctrine. His first call was for repentance, not for theological discussion. He sought to bring the very words of Life to the sinners, not to debate bible version. He called the false prophets out, but in doing so, He protected the sheep from their venom. He taught grace and truth and brought to people God. This man Christ Jesus was rewarded for His efforts with the cross, the needed sacrifice that would truly bring us grace, but before that He had spent at least 3 years imparting to the Apostles a preceding grace and lifted them out of Judaism and the dead vine until they were ready for the Day.

For so long in my life, I have subsisted on nothing but the grace of God and have subsisted because of the Grace of God. It is by His hand that I have beed led safe thus far and it is because of this grace, that I at the perfect time found the call to repentance only natural, and so very sweet. I have let my God down many times, and most likely will do so a few more times, but I know that He is always there, and He has never let me down.

I thank my God for His Grace, for His mercy, and for His patience as I travel along.

In light of where the text was taking me regarding Nehemiah's name (YHWH has comforted or the comfort of YHWH), I saw Christ's work through us.  He not only comforted Nehemiah, but comforted Jerusalem through Nehemiah (see 2 Corinthians 1).

I thought of this in the triperspectival grid this morning.

Christ's work for us (normative) => Christ's work in us (existential/subjective) => Christ's work thru us (circumstantial/situational)

This is how I need to be thinking as I approach sermons.

Christ died in our place <= His Work for Us => Christ obeyed in our place

Mortification of sin <= His Work in Us (sanctification) => Vivification of godliness

Justice <= His Work thru Us (service) => Mercy

or

Discipleship (inward) <= His Work thru Us => Mission (outward)

This warrents some more thinking, but first I must return to Nehemiah 1!

I don't know about the others, but I remember being nervous and excited. I felt like it was my opportunity to prove that I can be just as good as Gene, Luke, and Josh. I felt that it was a moment to prove -maybe mostly to myself- that I wasn't inadequate in comparison. Even if I had proved how amazing I was (or at least as amazing as I wanted them to know I was) it would have meant nothing.

My band mates had something that I didn't have; Jesus Christ. Oh I pretended I did. I mean I knew all the right answers, I could recite the right Bible verses from memory, I knew the words to the right songs, I hung out with the right people; I was as church as I could be in presentation, but my heart was at enmity with God and I was about to enter a very dark chapter in my life.

I felt empty. I had been dealing with a lifetime of depression, a war that waged within myself, and a secret I didn't know how to tell. The one thing I longed for was to prove to those whom I loved that I was someone too. I wanted to participate. I wanted to seen as someone of worth like the others were viewed, but I didn't feel as loved or as worthy. I felt least preferred.

I strived to be as loved as I saw the others, and everytime I felt like I was coming up short. I have many theories as to why that was -my home life felt empty, my social interaction was painfully limited, the violence in my home, I felt unworthy of notice in my own home and hoped to fulfill that need elsewhere, and (the greatest) I was without the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

Shortly after I would walk into a two year storm when my "faith" would be torn asunder, I would entwine myself in a world of pagan beliefs and great immoral practice. Long story short, it would eventually end with me trying to take my own life and the Lord revealing Himself to me in such a way that I could do no other but surrender to Him what He had purchased with His Blood.

After which I would struggle with Faith, Christianity, and church for several years after. In some battles I was in the right, but in others I was so very wrong, and so very misguided. Eventually after a very long journey I would end up right here with still a very long way to go, and still so much to learn.

Sometimes I look back at that day and wonder how things would have been different had I had the Lord genuinely in my life. I wonder what would have been different. How would I have turned out different. I wonder if I would be like those whom I have left behind, would I be as strong in my Faith as I am today? Would I have this heart to serve the Lord and to educate myself on things of the Sacred Scriptures? Would I still be waving the banners of men and not the banner of the Lord my God?

I confess that sometimes I feel hurt when I look back, but it -all of it- was in God's plan for me. All of it was to His purpose and to His glory. I certainly did not come out unscathed, but not one scar on this heart is outside of the plan of the Father. I am in a better place because of all these things, and it all taught me reliance on God, and has drawn me deeply into His arms.

I'm not sure why I share this, maybe because I watched the ten minute tape of Forgiven's First Concert with my wife this evening after I found it in a box. Maybe it is because I have been looking back and seeing how God has seen me through a lifetime that should have killed me. Maybe it is because I am at such a loss as how the Holy and mighty God of all creation would save someone as unworthy as me. I don't know, but I know that I stand in awe of the Father of Lights.

How Deep The Father's Love for Us
-by Stuart Townend

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

;)

I took some food and I went. When I finally came to the family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger.

I gave the rice to the mother.

She divided it in two, and went out, carrying half the rice with her.

When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?"

She gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors-they are hungry also."

I was not surprised that she gave--because poor people are generous. But I was surprised that she knew they were hungry.

As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves we have no time for others.
--Mother Teresa

Here is a story (possibly apocryphal, but powerful nevertheless) about a man who acted in the spirit of love and what he consequently learned.

The story comes from Zig Ziglar's book, See You At The Top (Pelican Publishing Co., 1982).

He tells about an old man who stood on a Virginia riverbank many years ago. He was waiting to cross the river and, since it was bitterly cold and there were no bridges, he would have to "catch a ride" to the other side. After a lengthy wait he spotted a group of horsemen approaching. He let the first one pass, then the second, third, fourth and fifth.

One rider remained. As he drew abreast, the old man looked him in the eye and said, "Sir, would you give me a ride across the river?"

The rider immediately replied, "Certainly." Once across the river, the old man slid to the ground. "Sir," the rider said before leaving. "I could not help but notice that you permitted all the other men to pass without asking for a ride. Then, when I drew abreast, you immediately asked me to carry you across. I am curious as to why you didn't ask them and you did ask me."

The old man quietly responded, "I looked into their eyes and could see no love and knew in my own heart it would be useless to ask for a ride. But when I looked into your eyes, I saw compassion, love and the willingness to help. I knew you would be glad to give me a ride across the river."

The rider was touched. "I'm grateful for what you are saying," he said. "I appreciate it very much." With that, Thomas Jefferson turned and rode off to the White House.

Ziglar reminds us that our eyes are the windows of our souls. Then he asks a pointed question: "If you had been the last rider, would the old man have asked you for a ride?"

A good question!

Moral:
For it is said that others will know us by our love. Some will see it in the things we do and some in the things we say. And a few perceptive souls, like the old man, may catch a glimmer of a loving and generous spirit in the expression of kind eyes. However it shows, may you be known by your love.