so a switch from panic. haha. my itunes is now on shuffle. and i love this song, it either way, it doesn't matter.

anyway. i switched my theme again. which i do pretty strangely often. i can never seem to find anything perfect. but i think i found it.
it's plain. it's simple.
there's nothing really confusing about it.
it's all good.

anyway, i don't actually have anything to say. i just wanted to say hi.
boring i know.
but whatever.

-your bored monster

Jag har känt mig hormon-ur-balans idag. Turligt nog har jag haft möjligheten att sitta ganska ostörd på mitt rum, en del av dagen i alla fall. Var på ett infomöte på nya jobbet på förmiddagen, egentligen skulle jag vara helt på gamla jobbet men jag bedömde att jag inte har "råd" att missa information om vad som händer där, just nu... allt som sägs som går att tolka som att jag har en chans att få tillsvidaretjänst där, eller motsatsen, vill jag veta så fort som möjligt.

Hade ett möte efter lunch också, med kollegorna som reagerade sådär märkligt anti, härom veckan. Jag vet fortfarande inte riktigt vad de hade problem med, men kände under mötet att den spända stämningen inte bara hade med mig att göra... där finns tydligen en osäkerhet dem emellan också. Osäkerhet, prestige... han som är "ledare" i det sammanhanget, är den minst erfarna av alla oss som ingår i arbetet. Och han är också en sådan som gärna tar till enkla, fast ogenomtönkta, lösningar på saker och ting... så han får motstånd, och känner sig nog lite otillräcklig. Som om han måste bevisa sin duglighet - fast samtidigt kör han vidare på sin genvägs-stil, så då blir det ju inte direkt bättre...

Jaja, det var ett kort möte och jag slapp bli påhoppad. Det fick duga så.

Sedan fick jag besked från en kollega att mejlen till en av mina adresser studsade. Det är fullt på web-mejlkontot... det är så knepigt konstruerat, så om man använder web-mejlen så sparas allt man skrivit eller skickat där, inklusive tunga bilagor. Det kontot, web-varianten, ligger sedan och blockerar, så även om man tar hem de kommande mejlen till mejlprogrammet i datorn, så kan det bli tvärnit när någon försöker skicka något halvstort... så jag tog tag i att rensa, på båda mina konton. Supertråkigt jobb som sådant, och omöjligt att göra när det är för mycket annat att göra, men just idag hade jag möjlighet att svara på mejl, besök och i telefon, i lagom tempo för att samtidigt faktiskt känna det avkopplande att dona på med de där mejlen. Precis vad jag behövde, faktiskt...

När jag kom till fikarummet på eftermiddagen, träffade jag en kollega som jag inte ser så ofta, hon har också två arbetsplatser och vi har olika tids-uppdelning. Hon undrade hur det var med mig och om det har ordnat sig med jobb-situationen. Jag sa att jag är lika uppsagd som vanligt, och då undrade hon om jag inte hade blivit återanställd på gamla jobbet, hon tyckte att hon hade sett det i styrelseprotokollet som kom härom dagen...? Jag (som är suppleant i styrelsen) hade inte läst protokollet... ;) Men jag sa att det kan inte stämma, jag har varken blivit tillfrågad eller informerad om det, så så kan det inte vara... vi gick och tittade efter. Och där, i protokollet, stod det minsann att jag var återanställd. På halvtid, tills vidare.

Och jag blev faktiskt upprörd. Kan man verkligen anställa en människa utan att den får veta om det!? Har jag inte rätt att veta, och själv ta ställning till, om jag vill bli anställd?? Bara någon dag innan styrelsemötet hade jag ett snack med chefen, som sa att "jaa, ta den tid du behöver för att ta ställning, vi vill alla att det här ska bli så bra som möjligt för dig så låt hösten rulla på, och så ser vi sedan hur vi gör med återanställningen".

Det är väl bra på sätt och vis att chefen gjort det jag blivit lovad, ifall det inte skulle lösa sig på andra stället... men får h*n verkligen göra det utan att ens låta mig få veta om det? Dessutom blir ju konsekvensen att OM jag skulle få heltid på det nya stället, så måste jag säga upp mig från det gamla, med x antal månaders uppsägningstid... kanske har chefen pratat med den nya chefen och fått veta att jag inte kan bli anställd där - fast ingen har informerat mig om det heller?? Ja, konstigt känns det i alla fall...

Dottern lagade maten idag. Hon har jobbat en massa under dagen med det hon gjorde igår kväll, och tycker att det är kul. Fast självförtroendet fladdrar från över- till underdimensionerat, och har svårt att landa på något mer realistiskt mellanläge... det hör ju delvis till åldern, men jag tror tyvärr att det faktum att hon var hos sin far i helgen, spelar in. Hon blir ofta mer osäker, ostadig, när hon varit där... När jag frågade om hur helgen varit, sa hon "bra", och att hon inte hade varit särskilt mycket med sin far och hans sambo, de hade gjort saker på lite olika håll, bl a. Och hon lät som om hon hade gjort något bra, som hade undvikit pappan... det känns ju inte så bra, ska hon vara hos honom så är ju meningen att det ska ge något bra...

Vi såg på Dr Phil. Där var en familj, den vuxna dottern anklagade sin far för incest, och pappan, som var frikyrkopastor, förnekade med mild men bestämd röst att han skulle ha förgripit sig på henne - förutom en gån i badet, då hon var två veckor gammal och han strukit henne över snoppen...! Ja, det var ju inte så farligt, tyckte han tydligen själv... huga, läskig snubbe, och han hade ett så övertygande sätt att "ärligt erkänna" de saker som han inte kunde komma undan att han hade gjort. Han berättade att han hade förgripit sig på tre av sina syskon när de (och han själv) var barn, och samtidigt var han benhård när han förnekade de saker som han gjort som han tydligen inte ville stå för, av någon konstig anledning... Dottern fick flera hysteriska utbrott. Bland de saker som hon anklagade honom för, fanns övergrepp på sitt barnbarn. Det förnekade han bestämt. Lögndetektortestet, som han väldigt gärna gick med på att göra eftersom han sa att han var ärlig "inför Gud", visade att han ljög om att han inte hade gjort de övergreppen som dottern anklagade honom för... Hennes son hade haft en massa sexuella aktiviteter för sig med andra barn, från fyraårsåldern. Sånt som så små barn inte kan komma på själva... helt tydligt hade någon förgripit sig på grabben, men det ville hans morfar inte ens prata om.

Hela familjen försökte nå fram till pastorn. Vädjade, letade efter hans... mänsklighet. Det gick inte alls, ingen nådde fram till honom. Han var tydligen såpass övertygande i sitt "milda" sätt, att han lyckats dupera hela sin familj... och jag kände igen så mycket av mekanismerna från min familj. Den "snälla" pappan som ingen kan tro skulle kunna bete sig vidrigt, inte ens han själv tillåter sig att acceptera att han gjort det som han gjort... ja, det var faktiskt lite nyttigt för mig att få se det där programmet. En pusselbit, i att inse att den som kan verka så snäll, faktiskt kan ha en så mörk sida att den inte ens själv kan acceptera att den har den... att man får försöka acceptera att människor kan bli helt... obegripliga, på något vis. Pappa känner sig nog hotad av att jag håller mig till den verkliga verkligheten, den som innefattar att det finns gränser för vad man kan gå med på i form av andras manipulationer, för pappa själv har ju gått med på att finnas i sin frus mindre friska värld...

Sedan såg vi SOS.familj, på trean. Med en inte-ens-tonårig dotter, som så uppenbart försökte ta för sig av hela familjens inflytande över sina liv... jag kände igen så väldigt mycket av Ma´s sätt att hantera sina söner, och även av exets syster och hennes dotter, när dottern var yngre. Det var dottern som styrde över ALLT iden familjen... och hur det kom sig att den dottern till slut landade och blev en riktigt normal och trevlig unge, vete tusan. Inte var det för att de vuxna i hennes omgivning började sätta vettiga gränser, i alla fall. Kanske räckte det att dottern insåg att hon förlorade både kompisar och pojkvänner, om hon fortsatte att bete sig mot dem som hon gjorde mot familjen... det är lite tragiskt när ungar tvingas uppfostra sig själva, för att de vuxna inte har någon ryggrad.

Nå. Min dotter har gått och lagt sig i alla fall. Och en puss fick jag innan hon la sig. Nu ska jag också sova.

i have been totally craving panic at the disco all week. not the new stuff. but i am craving the old album. and it's pretty much all i've been listening to. i love it. patd [bother a fever you can't sweat off and pretty.odd.] and wonderful. i fucking love them.

anyway,
my day was fine.
nothing really happened.
so i don't have much to say.
except, we had a fire drill today.
and "gary" [check the name page.] was near me.
now i don't know if i've brought it o your attention yet, he's a very attractive fellow who i believe i have feelings for.
[meaning: i like him.]
so anyway, he started waving at me, but i didn't think he was waving at me, and he was waving to someone around me. so i stood there all alone cause there is no one in my spanish class who is my friend. and then like his friends were like [yes i could hear them. they were less then 5 feet away] "who are you waving at?"
and he's like [pretty loud. to get my attention? haha.] "that girl over there."
and i was just like, blah.
and they were like, "which one?"
and he was like, "the one in the blue sweatshirt and the pink striped shoes."
and i looked over at him and smiled and he waves. and i waved. and he was like, [still from where he was] "i was trying to wave to you."
and i was like [in my tiny little shy voice.] "i'm sorry. i didn't know you were waving at me."
and he was like, "yeah right." but he said it more as a joke.
and then after spanish, i practically ran to my science class [he's in that hallway third period.]
so i wasn't running but i was walking alone so i figured, i'll walk relatively fast. to see him. but i didn't see him pass so i was like, alright whatever. and then who else be outside my science room but him. i completely cracked up on the inside. my whole body was laughing. but like i said, not out loud, just inside my head. and he looked at me pretending to be mad that i didn't wave back at him right away. so i waved and he smiled at me. i'm sure we would have talked if he wasn't talking to someone already. but to me, it was hysterical.
but, i guess you would have to be me to understand why.
maybe i'm just crazyy.

i think that's all.
maybe more later.

-your monster is falling for someone again. (:

Monster ended up going to his very first day of preschool.

Here are the boys outside of the school. They posed so nice for once!

Monster's cubby is right next to his brother's.

This was taken on Sunday after his birthday party.

He was very excited to see me when I picked the boys up. I asked him how his day was and he said, "IT WAS GREAT!"

He used the word great. So cute.

He did say that he cried a little bit because he missed me. The teacher told me the same thing and said that it happened during circle time. She said DramaBoy hugged him and so did she and he was fine after that. Aw.

Want to know what I did with my two hours of freedom? I drove to buy dogfood. I drove to buy detergent. I drove around a neighborhood looking for a house to pick up some Freecycle goodies. I drove to Taco Bell. I came home, shoved that Taco Bell in face faster than Kobayashi eating hot dogs. Then, I drove to pick them up. Glamorous, eh?

(picture credit)

For some reason I have Mr. Roger's Neighborhood theme song going through my head after reading THIS ARTICLE this morning. A commenter on FDL posted it and almost instantly I started singing this in my head...

"It's a beautiful day in Bush's neighborhood...a beautiful day in Bush's neighborhood...would you kill me...or my family..."

Hey, suicide will be the answer and as pointed out in the article above, one man decided to kill his wife, his 3 sons, and his mother-in-law before killing himself, because he just didn't see much use in going forward at this time. Nice, huh? After 8 years of George Bush telling us he's protected us and then told us killing people overseas was crucial, now we have Americans blowing the heads off their family and then themselves, so who the hell is going to protect these Americans from this kind of domestic terrorism? Huh? Who!!?????!!!! It won't be George Bush's economic policies; that's for sure! Spit. I hate him.

(picture)

(By the way, the above photo is photoshopped if you hadn't noticed. CLICK HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL.)

It appears Sarah Palin is trying to get Barack Obama assassinated. Just the other day I did THIS POST questioning if Sarah Palin was the proverbial pretty white woman who yells, "That man raped me!!!", in a crowd of white men to get them to kill or beat up the black man. Well, I seem to be onto something and it isn't pretty. Sarah Palin has reared her ugly head and on it reads, "KKK OR BUST".

From the Washington Post (emphasis mine) where Sarah Palin is rallying the crowd and spreading lies & deceits against Barack Obama:

"I was reading my copy of the New York Times the other day," she said.

"Booooo!" replied the crowd.

"I knew you guys would react that way, okay," she continued. "So I was reading the New York Times and I was really interested to read about Barack's friends from Chicago."

It was time to revive the allegation, made over the weekend, that Obama "pals around" with terrorists, in this case Bill Ayers, late of the Weather Underground. Many independent observers say Palin's allegations are a stretch; Obama served on a Chicago charitable board with Ayers, now an education professor, and has condemned his past activities.

"Now it turns out, one of his earliest supporters is a man named Bill Ayers," Palin said.

"Boooo!" said the crowd.

"And, according to the New York Times, he was a domestic terrorist and part of a group that, quote, 'launched a campaign of bombings that would target the Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol,'" she continued.

"Boooo!" the crowd repeated.

"Kill him!" proposed one man in the audience.

Why would Sarah Palin ignore "Kill him!" when yelled? Does this mean she agrees Barack Obama should be killed? Seems so, I mean really, if you're running on a campaign ticket on the idea that you're the 'moral/values' ticket, don't you think she would have turned to that man and said, "Sir. That was uncalled for. Please don't say it again". Well, she didn't! She let it fly with a slight smile on her face.

Sarah Palin is truly the lipstick wearing wolf in sheep's clothing. Or maybe she's.....how do I say it?....the anti-Christ? Hey, could be! There is lots of evil & deceit coming out of this pretty lady so it wouldn't surprise me if she is!

Maybe the KKK is the one who pushed John McCain to pick her and they threatened to kill McCain's black child if he didn't? Hey, could be. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to the right wingers of the American Taliban.

(picture)

Sarah Palin doesn't know it yet, but she's the face of DOMESTIC TERRORISM at the moment. Spit. Yep, she's the face of the KKK.

YOU CAN CONTACT THE SECRET SERVICE HERE TO REPORT THE ABOVE "Kill him!" INCIDENT

The latest ad campaign and smear tactics of the McCain campaign that started this week are disgusting. He's calling Obama a friend of a "domestic terrorist" from the Sixties...a guy who was out of wack when Obama was eight years old. Next we're expected to hear about Obama's former crazy preacher. Then it will be Obama associating with crooked real estate deals in Chicago.

It's disgusting. WYSIWYG - Obama is none of these things. While McCain is a womanizer -- who confessed to war crimes and begged for special treatment in that Hanoi prison (while others tried to escape or died first under torture) --a womanizer, a confessor of war crimes to the enemy, a crap shooter, on the edge of senility and now: A man without honor.

McCain is a villain.

___________________

This site has been put up by the Obama campaign: http://www.keatingeconomics.com/

This site, above, tells the truth and gives facts about the last banking scandal -- in which John McCain was involved. The guy at the center of the scandal went to jail. McCain got officially censored by the Senate.

The public paid the bill for $128,000,000.00 (More or less).

Yet now, today, -- as mentioned -- McCain starts his campaign to slander Obama with false guilt by casual association, trying to link Obama to the actions and ideas of a Sixties anti-Vietnam radical. Obama was eight years old at the time of this radical's actions.

It's thus nonsense to make such an association! It should also be clear that Obama has not been advocating bombing anything or revolutionary thoughts: Instead he's been doing the right thing of advocating voter registration, adherence to the Constitution and diplomacy before starting pre-emptive unnecessary wars.

Bush & Cheney ARE War Criminals (doing torture, alone, makes that true). The Republican Party led the way into the black hole of the Middle East Wars. The Republican Party sold us all out to special interest.

o, let's get real. We can't let these warmongers and liars continue to rule our country. We need to DEFEAT REPUBLICANS!
Defeat them now, defeat them in the next elections, defeat them till their party doesn't exist anymore.

No phony 'guilt by association,' is needed to link McCain to the last banking scandal -- it's documented; it's real.

McCain's policies of de-regulation and eliminations of watchdogs was key to allowing the banks get away with this current scam.

We can't let this dirty politics go down. In truth, it's worse than the bank scams -- it's a scam and mockery of our politics.

We can't let this dirty politics go down. In truth, it's worse than the bank scams -- it's a scam and mockery of our politics.

Holy Crap! You're Telly Monster!

there is no word to describe this song. it's amazing. it's freaking genius. :D
go download/listen to it.

anyway, my day was fine why thank you.
gorgeous guys sister and her friend tried to get me to notice them today when i was getting on the bus home. they were like talking super loud saying "freedom of speech all the way." when i told the bitch i have the freedom of speech the other day. it didn't work. here's why.
i don't care what those stuck up ego manic bitches have to say about me. i couldn't care less about them. they're trashy, stuck up, slutty bitches. and i hope they know that. and i hate them.
and i hate girls like them. they piss me the fuck off.

but my day was fine and that can not ruin that. allie wasn't there. that made me very upset. come to think of it, not many people [that i hang out with] were there today. hm.

anyway. not much went on.
i flipped out at nina,
who thought it would be okay to go and bring playdoh to school and play with it in study hall because she can't fucking think for herself. I HATE HER TOO!
ahhhh!
there goes my whole, i don't hate anyone shit. that's three right there.
stupid bitches.

but. whatever.
i'll be back later.

-your monster.

[ps. i updated the name page. go check it out.]

The boy scaled a security fence and went on a 30-minute spree, even killing the zoo's beloved, 20-year-old goanna lizard , which he then fed to "Terry," an 11-foot saltwater crocodile. The boy also threw several live animals to Terry over the two fences surrounding the crocodile's enclosure.

At one point he climbed over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.

He killed 13 animals worth more than £3,000, including a turtle, bearded dragons and thorny devil lizards. Although none were rare, some would be difficult to replace.

"We're horrified that anyone can do this, and saddened by the age of the child," said Mr Neindorf.

Police said they had identified the boy, who lives locally, but were unable to press charges because of his age. Children under 10 are not criminally liable under the law in the Northern Territory.

"By all accounts, he's quite a nasty seven-year-old," said Mr Neindorf, who plans to sue the boy's parents.

Nasty? Nasty? Little bastard- give him to me for 5 minutes at breaktime.

Whatever.

Today is Monster's first day of preschool. We have been talking it up all weekend to hopefully get him excited about it and make him feel like this is the coolest thing ever. He already knows the teachers and many of the kids because he is with me every day to drop DramaBoy off. He usually wants to stay as well because there are trains there. Heh. So, I figured his transition to the first day of school where he gets to stay would be easy!!

Wrong.

He is sick. No fever, just an upset tummy. And, he made a point to tell DramaBoy and me that he is scared of starting school so he is sick. His words.

This means he has developed the odd issue that I had as a child. Whenever something big was going to happen, be it a family trip, or a Girl Scout trip (yes, I was in Girl Scouts, shuddup) or something else exciting, I would wake up in the morning sick.

My parents used their incredible deductive reasoning skills to figure out that I would get so worked up about the upcoming events that I would make myself sick. It was a mind over matter thing, my dad said. I never had a fever... just an upset stomach. At some point my father taught me how to overcome this by using the mind over matter technique and it never happened again.

Now it seems I have passed on this ridiculous idiosyncrasy of mine to my son. He has my grace, my motor mouth and now my stoopid mental disorder that causes illness whenever something exciting or new is about to happen.

School doesn't start until 12:30 and it's only 9am. There may be still time to see him recover, but since I just ran into the living room to see him throwing up, I doubt he will be better by the time school starts. Poor little boy. He looks miserable.

From this point forward, there will be no mention of school. Not one word. If DramaBoy even says the word school he will be grounded. If I have to duct tape my own mouth shut, I will. I don't even want the word school to be thought by anyone!

Maybe he can start tomorrow. I wonder if he will want to stay this time or if he will start crying when he sees that I'm leaving like he does when I have to drop him off with friends. He is, oh, how do I say this? He is my velcro baby. Since the second he was born he has been stuck to me. I am convinced it is because of the three months he spent sleeping on my chest because of his colic and unwillingness to sleep anywhere else. He loves cuddling with me and is always bugging me for one reason or another. When he crawls into my bed at night (2-3 nights a week) he sleeps touching me. He has to. Even though we have a king bed and hubs has usually been kicked out by Monster, literally, he still sleeps tucked tightly next to me.

So, I surmise that even though Monster wants to stay at school every time we drop his brother off, when it comes time for him to actually stay, he will refuse. Only time will tell and it looks like I won't get to test my theory today.

The same man that many praise on his slogan of change.  What type change are you all supporters wanting can I ask.  Do you think it's cool to hang with a druggie and their clan of people that hate America and all it stands for?  Do you think it's cool to trash talk our United States Army and Marines, Navy?  Do you think it's cool to trash the American flag and show disrespect for it?  Do you think it's cool to steal rob and commit fraud with voter registrations?  Do you think it's cool to scam people and use them to manipulate others and promise things which can never be? Do you think it's cool to have a person tell you what you can or can not say?  Do you think it's cool that Barack Obama defended the Acorn group and taught them what they know today?   Well if you answered yes to any of those then by all means Barack Hussein Obama is your guy. 

I know as always you want the evidence well just watch below for all you need is here:

Are you convinced yet?  If not keep watching!

How about now?  Still don't believe that your guy is no good?  Keep watching this video then:

You still not convinced that Barack Hussein Obama is a crook then keep watching!

So do you think this is cool?  Is this cool to you?  What is so cool about it? There is more!

You still loving this guy?  This is change we can beleive in huh! Keep watching this is the real deal!

I rest my case.

i started making this guy on friday... i thought he looked a little rodent like so went to the pet store and bought him a toy for inspiration.

he needed a rodent like tail, so i lightly felted a long piece of wool.

i wanted to get cartoon like ribbing on the tail and but needle felting each "rib" would have taken a very long time and i am sure i would have stabbed myself repeatedly.  so i put rubber bands down the length of the tail, wet felted it, let it dry and then dyed it pink.

the tail did'nt come out exactly how i envisioned it, but i do love it.i added wire before i attached it so it would be posable.  awww, my new pet monster with his toy! but he still needs a name...any suggestions?

How many black men has Sarah Palin been responsible for who died after she screamed a lie? Huh. I don't know but I would like to know. She's currently defending herself FOR CLAIMING RAPE WHEN NO RAPE OCCURRED.

Hey, if Sarah wants to play this game then she will have to prepare herself for questions about her own ties to groups who HATE AMERICA. Because for all we know, this could be Todd Palin under this mask....

WOULD SOMEONE PROVE TO ME THIS IS NOT TODD PALIN UNDER THIS MASK? And I don't want to hear, "But Kay! That writing isn't American! Of course it's not Todd". Because this is what the terrorists are good at: DECEIVING, DISTORTING, AND MANIPULATING by using symbols to throw everyone off!

We all have a monster in us all some choose to never let it out other show glimpses of it now and then. I say I have a dark side too there’s a monster in me too but I know what’s right or should I say I believe that its right. What is wrong or right? What’s normal or what’s not? I can only give my opinion not an answer so I cant be really judged if I’m normal or right but how I live my life I consider it normal and right it may be not normal to others and they may disagree with me but that is the whole point there is no wrong or right way to live its how you look at it.

i was talking to allie, and realized, i'm crazy. my friends don't hate me. i'm just over thinking every little thing.
why they don't ask me to hang out with them is simple, i never want to hang out with them. but trust me, that's going to change.
i also realized [way before this. back in the last post] i don't like gorgeous guy. i'm no longer wasting my time on him.
from now on, i am going to be more positive, stop breaking apart every little thing and stop thinking everyone hates me.
my life, just went from great to extraordinary.
(:

-your monster.