Maybe it is because my mother was a librarian but I feel bereft if I do not have a book on the go and I always ask for them as presents.  But is that all about to change?

Today sees the launch of the Sony eBook in the UK – 260g and the capacity for 160 eBooks. Well, that would keep me quiet on holiday but is it what I want?  The techie side of me says “go for it and save a few trees” but the reader side of me says “I love the feel and tradition of a paperback”.

Who can tell what will happen. In the early days of the iPod it was suggested that the CD would still remain king and even I am in love with my iPhone now. So maybe I will, eventually, get an eBook but tell me… what happens when you get sand and sun cream on it?

And if you peer closely, you'll see why I'm so excited. Yes, Out of a Clear Sky is going to be Radio 's Book at Bedtime from September 22nd. And continuing on the radio theme, there's a nice quote from the Radio 5 Book of the Month programme I did back in May

I'll put up links to buy it - all of you who haven't shelled out for the hardback yet, that is - when Amazon have got the page sorted out. At the moment they're claiming the paperback is by some imposter called Sarah Hinchcliffe...

One year after it topped book critics' best-of 2007 lists everywhere (including ours), Denis Johnson's Vietnam War epic Tree of Smoke is finally available in a handsome trade-paperback. Picador's edition retains the original orange and yellow cover, only now affixed with the proud blazon "National Book Award Winner." However, that Tree of Smoke won this prestigious award no doubt ruffled a few feathers. It still remains an urgently divisive work.

Although plenty of critics and readers loved the novel, including The New York Times's Jim Lewis (who cautiously called it "something like a masterpiece") and Michiko Kakutani, it has had more than its fair share of haters. Consider B.R. Myers's downright mean review, "A Bright Shining Lie" in The Atlantic. Here, Myers displays the worst kind of vitriol. He's the critic who feels the need not only to trumpet his hatred of the work he's assessing, but also to lambaste the dignity, taste, and intellect of anyone who would disagree with him. Myers specifically attacks Johnson's rhetorical style, his diction and syntax, and concludes that those idiots who would praise such inane, base, and clichéd language (idiots like me, that is) are clearly the cause of all current social and political problems and "have no right to complain about incoherent government." Uh, sure. Myers's baseless zealotry aside, it's worth looking at the popular reception of Tree of Smoke, and what better place to do so than scouring Amazon reviews, right?

A cynic might say that Amazon reviews are the bottom-barrel of literary criticism, yet it's still worth considering the almost perfectly mathematical split between 5- and 4-starred reviews of the book and 1- and 2-starred reviews (although none of the negative reviews I read on Amazon suggested that praising Johnson's novel disenfranchised one from political opinions). Put simply, most people tend to either hate or love Tree of Smoke, which, I believe, is a sign of great art. And, were I inclined to inflate my rhetoric to a grandiose level like Myers, I might here wax philosophical about opinion, perspective, history, and the value of great art to ignite debate and discussion within the marketplace of ideas. However, I don't think a book review is necessarily the best venue to make grand sweeping statements. At best, such writing presents a shallow or hollow endorsement of a collective truth (e.g. "Everyone assesses literature from their own perspective and therefore everyone values books differently"); at worst--in the case of Myers's grotesque review--we get a pompous, overblown, self-important declaration (here, praising Tree of Smoke = losing the ability to authoritatively comment on society or politics) that can only be supported within the limited rhetorical bounds created the sophist has constructed (i.e. Myers's review). But I've made a long digression, and, worse, I've failed to really discuss the book at all.

My initial review of Tree of Smoke last year was really a review of Will Patton's masterful audio-recording of the novel (I was reading Ulysses for graduate school at the time and simply did not have the time to read both). I loved the experience; Patton did a great job, and I found myself wholly addicted to the narrative. When the advance copy of Tree showed up in the mail earlier this week, I immediately re-read the coda of the book in a single sitting. I would say the measure of a great narrative is not its core, its climax, or its beginning, but how well the conclusion is able to deliver the promises established throughout the book. Tree of Smoke delivers, and its ending continues to haunt the reader well after the book has been set aside. Readers like Myers may not get the payoff--he claims that "Johnson’s failure to understand [his character's] faith is such that when he uses it to end the novel on an uplifting note, the reader feels nothing." However, I hardly think that a watery Hallmark-word like "uplifting" properly connotes the weight, pathos, and sheer pain that Johnson conveys and addresses at the end of the book (Myers's shallow diagnosis leads me to believe he merely skimmed the novel). Ethics of literary criticism aside, the real triumph of Tree of Smoke is simply that Johnson manages to comment in a new way on a subject that, by 2007, had been done to death. Who knew that we needed another story about the Vietnam War? Denis Johnson, apparently. Read the book for yourself. Very highly recommended.

Tree of Smoke is available in paperback from Picador on 2 September, 2008.

Como eu sou uma pessoa feliz que gosta de disponibilizar conteúdos inéditos nessa bagaça, eu vou começar um segmento sobre os livros que eu leio.

Porque eu ler é meu pequeno vício... e eu adoro fazer os outros ficarem viciados também. Muahahahahaaaaaaaa

Saga Twilight

FYI:

O primeiro é Twilight

O segundo é New Moon

O terceiro é Eclipse

O quarto é Breaking Dawn

Os livros contam a história de Isabella Swan, que se muda para a cidade chuvosa de Forks, onde seu pai mora, porque sua mãe, Reneè vai se casar com outro cara.

Obviamente ela não está muito feliz de ter que mudar pra uma cidadezinha no meio do nada onde quase nunca sai o sol, e onde todo mundo se conhece... e para piorar, o pai é policial.

Mas Bella, como ela gosta de ser chamada, é um sério ímã para problemas e obviamente ela vai conhecer um pessoal meio estranho na escola. Não vou estar estragando o livro pra vocês quando disser que esse povo estranho é vampiro, afinal isso aparece até na capa de trás, hihihi. O mais emocionante é quando ela conhece um vampiro bonitão do grupo, o Edward, (sim garotas, obviamente que ele é demais) e começam as cenas de ação.

Aí a história vai se desenrolando... e eu num vou contar mais nada! Leiam oras!

Os livros são fáceis e gostosos de ler... tem várias cenas de ação, reviravoltas, criaturas fantásticas, emoção... e no final eu prometo que você fica viciado hihihi...

A autora, Stephenie Meyer, é muito simpática, e no site dela dá pra saber bem mais sobre a série.

A saga inteira eu li em inglês, em paperback mesmo, aliás, superdica pra você que sabe inglês, livros nessa língua são beem mais baratos que os traduzidos pro português. Compensa mesmo se você comprar pela Amazon.

EE, em 21 de novembro sai o primeiro livro em filme. Mal posso esperar

Trailer!

E aí, se sentiu tentado?

To give us more contact with our readers, KL and I have created our basic but lovely RSS feed. We've also created a new facebook group called Eastridge Academy: School for Adventurers. Shameless plug: Join our group, if you're so inclined...and tell your friends too!

For the past month, aside from earnestly trying to stay ahead of the Book 2 updates, KL and I have been working on publishing Book 1. We've decided to go the self-publishing route and have been putting the agents of various self-publishing companies to work to impress us with their features, options, and marketing packages.

It's certainly a learning process, as I've never had the experience of self-publishing a book before. There were a lot of factors to think about: what size we wanted our book to be, what we wanted our retail and wholesale prices to be, what our royalties might be, as well as what types of marketing and advertising strategies we needed. I don't think I've ever really given a thought to the sizes and shapes of books before, but after a month of research, I can proudly say that I am able to identify different genres by their book dimensions alone.

KL and I decided to go with BookSurge in the end, mainly because publishing through them makes our book that much more affordable (I didn't realize that 350-page, *paperback* fantasy novels can get to be as much as $21.00, yikes!). Also, it feels like BookSurge might give us more control of how our book looks, which is important particularly because KMRicker has conceded to give KL and I a pretty book cover if we're very good. Anyway, if everything goes well, we'll be able to have a paper copy to sell in a couple months' time.

In the meantime, KL and I are editing and improving our first book before we send a final draft off to print. We're tightening the narrative and throwing in new scenes. We're also typing out more descriptions about the world and characters in an attempt to really round out the SFA universe. By the time Book 1 is given to the publisher, it'll probably look different than what is on the website now. Hopefully, all the grammatical and continuity errors will be hammered out, our plot pace will be more fluid, and, yes, there will be more scenes of Fell. =)

Anyway, keep reading and telling us what you think!

Best,

"Jae Elle Whye", or JLY

In a couple of week's time Waterstones will start selling the Sony eBook Readers in its UK stores. Penguin Books, the company that 73 years ago invented the paperback, and so revolutionised the publishing business, are among the voices championing the e-book as the future of publishing.

It's worth noting the resistance to the original mass-market paperbacks is similar to that facing the ebook. George Orwell, for one, announced that the new Penguins, which sold for just sixpence, were splendid value, so much that "the other publishers hand any sense would combine against them and suppress them."

Of course, the early ebooks are different from early paperbacks, with a few notable exceptions, Cory Doctorow and Paulo Coelho among them, the early ebooks cost just as much as printed books. But few experts think price parity will remain for long. I have mixed feelings about ebooks. While I would gladly consult a reference ebook, i have reservations about reading a novel in this way. Maybe I am just fussy, or a bit of a purist, or too vain a collector (I don't even like borrowing books for fear that they will eventually be missed from my collection), but then again I once felt the same about my music collection and now happily listen to MP3s.

Orwell was wrong about the paperback, could all of us who resist the ebook be making a similar mistake?

Anyway, here's a bit more of Orwell's thoughts on the paperback (cheers Paul!)

"In my capacity as reader I applaud the Penguin Books; in my capacity as writer I pronounce them anathema. Hutchinsons are now bringing out a very similar edition, though only of their own books, and if the other publishers follow suit, the result may be a flood of cheap reprints which will cripple the lending libraries (the novelist's foster-mother) and check the output of new novels. This would be a fine thing for literature, but it would be a very bad thing for trade, and when you have to choose between art and money—well, finish it for yourself."

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Book Synopsis:

A sixteen-year old girl holds a gun to her head at the scene of a grisly triple homicide.  She claims "The Stranger" killed her adoptive family, that hes's been following her all her life, killing everyone she ever loved, and that no one believes her.  But Special Agent Smoky Barrett does.  Her team has been hand-picked from amont the nation's elite law enforcement specialists and they are as obsessed and relentless as the psychos they hunt; they'll have to be to deal with this case.

For another vicious double homicide reveals a killer embarked on a dark crusade of trauma and death: an "artist" who's molding Sarah into the perfect victim - and the ultimate weapon.  To catch him, Smoky is going to have to put her own fragile, once-shattered life on the line.  For The Stranger is all too real, all too close, and all too determined.  And when he finally shows his face, Smoky had better be ready to face her worst fear.

Let me first preface this by saying - this book may not be for everyone.  I am a huge fan of shows like The First 48, and growing up in Wisconsin, we have had our fair share of nasty killers, most notably Jeffrey Dahmer.  Mr. McFadyen does something few authors have been able to do for me - he has actually made me cry during a portion of this book.  I will not go into details, but it involves the events of Sarah's 6th birthday - heart wrenching, to say the very least.

As strange as this may sound, this review is hard for me to write.  Not because I don't have a lot to say but because I don't want to spoil this book for anyone.  This book is being placed in my top 10 books of 2008 for sure, and without going back to check my list I would say it was in the top 2 or 3.  Even though it is almost 600 pages long, once I started reading I had a VERY hard time putting it down.  His prose, in my mind, is comparable to one of the greatest writers of our time - Stephen King.  Like King, the description of not only the events, but of the characters, leaves no room for doubt - you feel as if you are standing there witnessing things firsthand, and like these characters are people that you really know.  This is something that is a rare find in an author, and should be truly commended, whether you like the subject matter of the book or not.

I think the hardest part for me was that initially no one believes Sarah.  This poor 6 year old witnesses something beyond my wildest imagination, and when trying to tell the police about it she is dismissed as confused.  My heart was literally breaking for this poor innocent child.  Once you read this, you will realize not only why she isn't believed (the killer does a good job of covering his tracks and making things look other than what they are), and then you will realize how deep corruption can go.  He also demonstrates how far the human mind can go without actually breaking - Sarah's journey is fraught with such evil, and yet she somehow keeps at least a shred of sanity. 

Don't get me wrong, this book isn't ALL about murder (although to be honest the vast majority is fairly gruesome).  The relationship between Smoky and her team is fabulous - even James who is "the odd man out".  As Smoky herself says "He can peer into the mind of a killer and not blink.  He can gaze at evil full in the face and then pick up a magnifying glass to get a closer look."  This is the same ability Smoky has, which makes her the best in the business.  And, she needs someone with that same ability to bounce ideas off of - no matter how difficult he is to work with.  Bonnie, Elaina, Alan, and Callie are all very developed and you grow to really get a feel for the relationship between all of them.  And despite all of the horror they have all been through...literally...this has helped them to form a bond of friendship and love that is beautiful.

On that note, I would like to talk about something in the book that I feel was my favorite part.  No, no, it really has nothing to do with the murders at all.  It has to do with Matt (Smoky's dead husband) and Smoky's legacy to their daughter Alexa (I must read Cody's first book to find out what happened here...I must, I must, I must!!!).  They weren't wealthy, but wanted to make sure they could leave her something if anything ever happened to them, something that maybe wasn't worth a lot of money, but truly spoke of who they were as people.  And what might that be, you ask?  They create a library for her, and add to it whenever they can.  I have been doing the same thing for my daughters - granted, it started before they were born because I am such a bibliophile, but I think it is such a great idea.  What better gift to give anyone, than a library full of books?!  Love it, love it, love it!

Truly a must read for anyone - queasy stomachs beware!

About the author:

Cody Mcfadyen was born in Texas in 1968. He designed websites before selling his first novel, Shadow Man, in 2005. He has since had a second book – The Face of Death – published. Both were international best sellers. He lives in Southern California with his two black labs, often referred to as ‘The Black Forces of Destruction.’ He drinks coffee (copiously), plays guitar (badly), and reads (voraciously). He abhors adverbs in writing, except when used in short bios like this one.

For more information, visit www.codymcfadyen.com

I also want to thank Pump Up Your Book Promotion - you ladies ROCK!

Add to: | Technorati | Digg | del.icio.us | Yahoo | BlinkList | Spurl | reddit | Furl |

My name is Alan Hipson and I will be reviewing old and new comics and trade paperbacks covering all sorts of tastes and styles. I will try and update the site frequently but this depends on my workload. I look forward to any comments and suggestions that you have for the blog or suggestions for books and comics to review. I would like to expand the site in future to allow readers to add there own reviews, again comments and suggestions are welcome.

I will be kicking off the first review with Walking Dead - Days gone bye, by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore, so keep an look out for it coming soon.

I hope everyone enjoys the blog and keeps coming back.

Alan Hipson

1. Lot of 100 Westerns - Cur .99c, NR

2. 1892 U.S.A. Picture Book -Cur $20.49 (Most watched item)

3. 26 pallets of books - Cur $2500.00, Pickup only Gillespie IL

4. 100 Christian Books - Buy it Now $59.00

5. The Case against Obama - Cur .99c - Free Shipping

:) Rick

Blurb

Mason’s impressive record of sexual conquests at the office is almost flawless, but he has to sleep with overweight Hailey to achieve the perfect score. Identical twins Sunflower and Daffodil are inseparable, they share everything, including men. Graham gives into temptation and samples a few of his barely-legal students. Tariq is attracted to both his girlfriend Angel and his best friend Raymond, he doesn’t know if he is gay, bi-sexual or merely confused. Shawn has earned his nickname ‘The Dog’, there are very few women he considers off-limits, even his youthful great-aunt. Plagued by erotic equine dreams which make her horny, virginal Abigail allows Frank, the farmhand, to sate her rampaging desires. Sugar is every man’s nightmare, a woman who will give you one memorable taste of her sweetness and then move on.

Lexy Harper has tapped into her ‘inner man’ for these seven stories which make up the third book of her Bedtime Erotica series. They are written with men in mind but women will find them equally satisfying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The seven stories.......

PERFECT SCORE
Her broad bottom threatened to burst the seams of her Burberry skirt as she bent over her desk to check the faulty connection at the back of her computer. He should be a gentleman and do it for her. He really should. But as soon as she’d bent over, Mason’s cock had become as hard as a rock, he couldn’t move away from his desk if a fire suddenly broke out in the building.

Her virginal pussy must be so tight!

Hailey Ambrose was one of the ugliest young women he had ever seen. Okay, she wasn’t ugly but she was a big girl and the fact that she didn’t go to a gym or do any form of exercise didn’t help. Neither did her weakness for Bahlsen Choco Leibniz Dark Chocolate biscuits. She was close to two hundred pounds and at 5’10” that made her well over the recommended BMI. Women had to look after themselves—she wasn’t even twenty-five years old and she had already let herself go—he would hate to see her when she hit forty. He shuddered at the thought.

But she stood between Mason and his 100% record….

EASY RIDERS
Daffodil and Sunflower Gardner were so alike their parents had trouble telling them apart. It was highly likely that the twins had been mixed up as babies, that Sunflower could in fact be Daffodil and vice versa. Even scientists conducting twin studies of them and hundreds of identical siblings were staggered by their physical exactness. They shared the same taste in everything, including men. This caused the first fights they had ever had when they became teenagers but finally they came to an agreeable solution—sharing. Whoever met the guy first went on the first date, the other twin went on the second and so on….

NAUGHTY PROFESSOR
Graham Greene rushed out of his office, along the empty corridor and through the heavy entrance doors of the sixth form college where he taught Physics, to his parked Jaguar, designer briefcase in hand, his thoughts miles away—three and a quarter miles away, precisely. The distance between the college and Madame LaBelle’s Exclusive Men’s Club or Belle’s Whorehouse as less sophisticated people referred to it. He was such a regular visitor there that he could do the journey blindfolded, using his cock like a homing pigeon to guide him straight to the abundance of young pussy—the house speciality.

Belle’s girls were all under the age of twenty-five. As soon as they hit that magic age Belle retired them with a handsome payout. On retirement, a number of them married previous clients and became domestic goddesses; three had become doctors; seven now practised law; two had pooled their retirement lump sums and had created Wicked Secrets, an aptly named lingerie range. But Belle was proudest of her former girl who had gone on to direct and produce several bestselling porn flicks—three of which had cleaned up at the last Porn Oscars….

INTIMATE FRIENDS
I would have never doubted my sexual orientation if I hadn’t fallen in love my first day at kindergarten. I remember clinging tearfully to my mother’s hand, begging her not to leave me when a boy exactly the same height as I was came up and held my hand. He smiled at me and I let go of her and followed him meekly to the low table where he had been sitting playing with some building blocks.

“Honey, do you want me to stay for a while?” my mother had asked anxiously.

“I’m okay, Mom.”

Understandably, she’d stared at me in shock after I’d delivered this seemingly simple statement—I had started crying the previous evening at the thought of being left alone at kindergarten with complete strangers and had only stopped in the car on our way over when she’d promised to stay with me until I was comfortable and to breast-feed me when we got home….

SHAWN ‘THE DOG’ MITCHELL
Stuck in the holiday traffic on the way to his great-aunt May’s house, Shawn cursed himself for being a mummy’s boy. His mother had called him three days ago from Martinique, concerned about her aunt who was spending the first Christmas on her own since the death of her husband. Neither of his sisters was available: the older one was heavily pregnant with her fourth child, and his parents had taken the younger on holiday with them. So, reluctantly he had agreed to drive down late Christmas Eve and spend Christmas Day and part of Boxing Day with his great-aunt. He had thought his new girlfriend Loretta would come along to keep him company. Instead, she had quickly logged on to the Internet and found a last-minute flight to Florida to spend the holidays over there with her best friend. Worst of all was the fact that she had finally uncrossed her legs last Friday after two months of roses, expensive dinners and endless begging. He had been ‘hitting’ her pussy with a vengeance every night since and had planned to ‘bend’ it up during his two week Christmas vacation….

EROTIC DREAMS
The huge black stallion sniffed the smaller mare’s hindquarters, tossed his head arrogantly and snorted. She neighed encouragingly as he mounted her, his enormous penis jerking up and finding its mark with surprising accuracy. Her whinnying cries spurred him on as he proceeded to shove...

Shucks! Abigail sat up in bed crossly—something had awakened her in the middle of her favourite dream. She rubbed her eyes and slowly opened them as she listened to the sounds coming from her aunt’s room. Odd noises interspersed with canine pants. She looked at her clock radio. It was five-twenty in the morning. Was that her aunt making odd noises? And why did Rover sound like he was out of breath? Or maybe it was Rover making all the noises. Maybe he needed to go out and her aunt was asleep.

She got out of bed and padded to her aunt’s door. She tried the handle but the door was locked.

“What do you want?” her aunt demanded, her voice sounding strange….

SUGAR BROWN
Hey, boys! Are those erections? I guess you are happy to see me. I’m pleased to see you too but let me warn you—I’ll fuck you only once before I move on.

Lexy says I give women a bad name. I don’t know why. I’m a serial fucker not a serial killer! Personally, I think she’s jealous. Bitches never like me but I don’t care because I don’t like them either. I’m not fucking no woman so if you are looking for some lesbian action you won’t find it here—close the book you’re done reading.

But where are my manners? Let me introduce myself before we go any further. My name is Sugar. I was born in Guyana, in a county called Demerara so I am the real article—Demerara Sugar—not some tasteless sweetener or sugar substitute. I’m so sweet I rot teeth....!

Copyright© 2007 Lexy Harper

Blurb

In Bedtime Erotica, Lexy Harper exposed her softer side and demonstrated her ability to write wonderful romantic erotic stories. Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me) does not continue where Bedtime Erotica ends, it verves off in a completely different direction. Lexy turns up the heat considerably, revealing her darker, freakier, unromantic side. Seven women who follow their sexual destinies, taking pleasure where they find it - damn the consequences and everyone else! Vanessa lives out all her sexual fantasies. Amanda disguises herself and sleeps with the man she wants. Geraldine hates being a prostitute but she is very good at it. Indra’s job as a chatline operator gives her a chance to experience her fisting fantasy. Nectar takes the term ‘breast-feeding is best’ very literally. Antonia lives a completely hedonistic life. Samantha is bent on wrecking homes with special friend the Home Wrecker. Vanessa, Amanda, Geraldine, Indra, Nectar, Antonia, Samantha - VAGINAS. This book is all about pussy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The seven stories.......

VANESSA
Her pussy wet its lips in anticipation as her man, Lester, walked through the front door of her one-bedroom flat followed by two strange men. Lester’s 5’10” frame was superb, but it wasn’t the sight of her current man that had her pussy salivating; it was the thought of having three cocks all to herself.

“Vanessa baby, meet Tim and Derrick,” Lester drawled and walked over to kiss her.

“Hi guys.” She smiled, very pleased to meet them.

“Hi Vanessa,” Tim replied, coming over to give her a long, deep kiss.

She absentmindedly returned his kiss, her eyes eagerly trained on Derrick’s crotch as he fumbled with his fly. Seconds later he unceremoniously pulled out his cock.

I hope some of it’s hidden.....

AMANDA
(Based on a few comments I have received there are readers who think that I didn’t deliberately misspell the names in the following story. For the record I did!)

“I don’t fucking believe it!” Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she stared at the 6’4” guy in the Bhatman costume striding confidently in her direction. There was only one guy in the world with shoulders that broad, a waist that trim and legs that muscled! A masked woman in a Bunny costume touched his arm and he turned to speak to her briefly before continuing onwards. Yes, there was definitely only one guy in the whole fucking world with an ass like that! Mr Jeremy Alexander. Alexander, the Great! He sat in front of her every day at work and didn’t know she was alive.

“Hi Pussycat, is there a hole in that costume where I can stick my......”

GERALDINE
She knotted the white sheet around Wesley’s hips and gave him the bottle of milk. “Mama’s going to do some chores. Finish your milk and have a nap.”

He nodded obediently as she pulled the duvet up to his neck.

Wesley was one of her regulars, he came to see her at least once a week and paid her very good money. Best of all she didn’t have to fuck him. Sometimes he would cum even before she started to baby-talk him. She’d first met him when she used to stand on street corners in short skirts and high heels, freezing her butt off looking for business. Back then she used to sit in his lap on the backseat of his large BMW and let him suck on her breasts......

INDRA
“Hi, this is Indra!” She stifled a yawn as she answered the phone on the second ring. Another two hours of this chatline shit before she could log off. She wished she’d paid more attention to the teachers in the classroom and less to the boys in the playground—if she had spent more time studying and less time fucking she would have probably managed to pass more than three GCSEs and would now have a decent job.

“Hi, Indra, this is Paul.”

“Hi, Paul, you have a very sexy voice. Where are you from?”

“I’m from France,” he responded with a strong British-Asian accent.

She was tempted to ask him something in French, since it was one of the three subjects she’d managed to pass at GCSE, but one more complaint and she would be fired. So she played along, “Tell me about yourself, Paul. Tell me what you look like so I can picture you as you’re fucking me.......”

NECTAR
I love DP. Did you ask what’s DP? I hope not! If you did, you are reading the wrong fucking book! Okay, as it’s you I’ll break it down for you. DP is double penetration—something in the pussy and the ass at the same fucking time! I prefer two cocks but I will use a dildo if only one of my men is available or two dildos if neither is around. Once there is something in each hole I am fucking happy.

Some of you may have met my younger sister, Honey Comb, in Bedtime Erotica. I taught that bitch everything she knows. She is tame compared to me; I don’t fucking give a damn! Both of us inherited our mother’s sexy body but mine is better than hers. I have to squeeze my breasts into a 36DD bra, she can barely fill a 36D. My waist is smaller and my ass is firmer than hers. She has a little wimp called Terry; I have two lame fuckers I call Tom and Jerry. I don’t even call them by their real fucking names because, like I said, I don’t give a damn......!

ANTONIA
She noticed the buff-looking young Black man as soon as he stepped on to the Tube at Leytonstone Station. Their eyes met and she winked suggestively. He did a slow, thorough survey of her body, his eyes widening in appreciation as he took in her short skirt and long legs. She deliberately moved across the carriage to stand just behind him, and then closer as the Tube became more crowded at Stratford. She pressed her breasts into his back as the Central Line Tube train sped through the tunnel between Mile End and Bethnal Green Stations, opening her legs as she felt his hand reach backwards and up under her skirt. She cupped his crotch as he pulled her tiny thong aside and fingered her clit. Pushing two fingers inside her, he thrust them as deep as he could without attracting the attention of their fellow commuters. She stroked his cock through his trousers. It felt huge and rock hard.....

SAMANTHA
“That looks too big,” Valerie said uncertainly as she watched Samantha strap on a dark-chocolate coloured dildo that matched her skin tone perfectly.

“Come on, honey, it’s only quarter of an inch longer and a little fatter than the one I fucked you with the last time.” Samantha smiled at her encouragingly. “You know you like a bit of sweet pain.”

She wished Valerie won’t bitch about the size of the dildo every fucking time. So far Valerie had taken every inch she had given her and taken them hard.

“We both know once I tongue your clit nicely you can take anything I give you,” she reminded Valerie as she spread her legs and rubbed her face against her pussy......

Copyright© 2006 Lexy Harper

Blurb

Valerie acts out her husband’s ultimate fantasy as a special birthday gift to him but neither realizes how dangerous it is to play with fire. Alyson’s twin fantasy is one small step away from becoming a reality; she just has to convince Darren that two heads are better than one. Tonya has always been daddy’s good little girl, when she discovers that he is a hypocrite, she follows her natural urges. Suzette’s curiosity gets the better of her and she finds herself totally mesmerized by Mackenzie’s seductive charms. Darleen is used to pussy-whipping young men into submission but she might have bitten off more than she can chew with Carl. Elizabeth is so sexually frustrated that she has resorted to using fruit and vegetables, unaware that her neighbour Jonathan is dying to give her a taste of the real thing. Emma’s husband has left her on the shelf, now Samuel, a much younger man wants to take her down and dust her off. Honey is on the verge of her first 10” dick sighting but Richard is playing hard to get.

These eight women embark on sexual adventures that will change their lives forever. So slip under the covers, book in hand, glass of wine on your bedside table, partner or favourite close by and let them take you on their pleasure-filled journeys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The eight stories.......

ANOTHER WOMAN
Valerie Roberts tested a single grain of basmati rice between two fingers to ensure it had softened sufficiently. It had. Smiling, she lifted the cover of the saucepan and checked the chicken korma curry simmering gently on the adjacent hob, then pulled her apron off before turning both knobs on the electric cooker off, leaving the latent heat to finish cooking the meal.

Suddenly, without warning, she was grabbed from behind and held against a hard body.

“Don’t scream,” a man’s voice whispered threateningly in her ear as his hands came up and grasped her breasts through her denim dress.

“My husband is coming home any minute now,” she warned, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

“I will fuck you before he gets here.”

“Please, there is money in the house and my jewellery. Just take those and go!”

“I don’t want money or jewellery, I want pussy.”

He spun her around in his arms and she screamed as she came face-to-face with a man wearing a black ski-mask….

DOUBLE THE TROUBLE
Alyson had almost done a comprehensive sweep of the room when her eyes encountered those of a bespectacled young man sitting obliquely opposite her. Mr. Delicious Nicholson. She didn’t know his first name but they had shared a Mathematics lecturer in her first year. It had been an extremely large class, the only one that combined the Civil, Electrical, Electronic and Mechanical Engineering departments. Spectacles did nothing to detract from his dark good looks and she had been dying to find an excuse to talk to him. The opportunity had never presented itself. Then he had disappeared and she’d thought, oh well, that one got away.

He smiled and she waved nonchalantly back. He got to his feet and headed in her direction. She watched his long stride quickly eat up the short distance between them and almost licked her lips. His shoulders looked even broader than the last time she’d seen him a year ago.

God, he was as smooth and fine as Belgian chocolate!....

DO AS I SAY
Eighteen-year-old Tonya Phillips ran up the carpeted stairs and into her bedroom. She wanted to freshen up before she met her boyfriend Eric later. Usually they went straight to his house after college but today he was off to the pub to celebrate his friend Peter’s eighteenth birthday. He had promised to be home by six o’clock, so she’d decided to make use of the free time by coming home and having a quick shower.

She was just about to open her wardrobe to select a suitable outfit when she thought she heard a faint thump coming from the room next to hers. She held her breath and listened—there it was again!

Her heart started beating faster. No one should be home, her father should be at his surgery and her mother at the Women’s Group meeting at church.

She cautiously tip-toed to her parents’ bedroom and peeped through the half-opened door. She nearly screamed aloud at the sight reflected in the mirror! Her best friend Karen was bent over the stool in front of her mother’s dressing table, her long single plait extensions cascading over her head, her body naked except for her cheerleading skirt which was bunched up around her waist—and Tonya’s father was taking her from behind….

THE NIGHT BEFORE
Suzette James turned over and snuggled up to her sleeping partner, her eyes still closed. She flung her arm out, encountered warm flesh and let her hand wander over a flat stomach and upward to a mound of soft flesh. She moulded it in her hand and felt the distinct hardening of a nipple.

A nipple! For a crazy moment she thought that she was touching her own breast then she realized that she would have felt her touch. Her eyes snapped open. She closed and re-opened them quickly to see if the woman asleep on the pillow next to her would disappear.

She didn’t.

Then Suzette remembered the night before!

Mackenzie!....

SLEEPING HER WAY TO THE BOTTOM
“You’re next for the office slut—I’ve seen the horny bitch eying up your butt every time you walk past her office,” a high-pitched feminine voice warned.

“Not me!” a deep, masculine voice denied. “I wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole!”

“They all say that and before you know it she’s got them licking her pussy like affectionate little puppies!”

“Well, that’s them! I will not be licking her pussy—I never mix business with pleasure.”

“I’ll give her another month before she’s got you by the balls, too.”

Thirty-nine-year-old Darleen Smith smiled as she listened to the exchange between Shane, the ugliest gay man she’d ever met and Carl, her newest member of staff. She knew they were talking about her—she was the only female in the building. And she had made it her mission to sleep with all the men she hired.

Shane’s just fucking jealous, she thought. Pissed off because I get more cock than he does! Ugly bitch!....

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Elizabeth Parker’s clitoris was unusually large and sensitive. She discovered it quite by accident while bathing at the age of sixteen. Her mother had always insisted that she wash herself properly and she’d been using her flannel to thoroughly cleanse herself when the cloth slipped and her bare fingers had accidentally brushed against something that had sent a shiver through her entire body.

Innocently she had done it once more and again the same sensation had raced through her. So she had done it again, and again, until she had cried out as a spasm of pleasure seized her body. Instinctively, she’d squeezed her legs together, trapping her hand against the ultra sensitive nub of flesh….

OXFORD BLUE
An hour later, Samuel lay on his back on the uncomfortable bed in his cramped rented room and stroked his stiff aching penis. He hadn’t masturbated in years but a cold shower had done nothing to ease the throbbing in his groin.

As a fourteen-year-old boy he’d had the biggest crush on Emma Boateng and now almost six years later she still had exactly the same effect on him. She had been a legal secretary then and whenever she came home dressed in one of her smart suits and her high heels, his heart had leapt painfully in his chest. She was about 5’7” but had weighed about a hundred and twenty five pounds, most of it on her lower half. She’d had a real African woman’s behind—high and round. Her breasts had been small and firm looking. Even as a teenager he had imagined that he could span her slim waist with his hands. She had laughed a lot and seemed so much younger than his parents and all other parents he knew, it had been hard to imagine she was old enough to be anyone’s mother.

He remembered how he had cried when he had hugged her goodbye at the airport, his poor teenage heart breaking at the thought of never seeing her again.

She had gained a little weight since he had last seen her but it only made her more feminine and even more appealing to him. When she had reached out to hug him in greeting he’d felt his penis harden—that’s why he’d asked to use the bathroom. Later, after her second hug, he had walked to the tube station with a massive hard-on….

TELEPHONE SEX
True fucking story! So sorry I had to use bad language in the opening line but believe me, when you read on you’ll understand why I am still pissed off after almost six months. Women, take my advice—never have telephone sex with a man you haven’t slept with. Men, if you are reading this—don’t make promises you can’t fucking keep!

I met Richard at Night Moves nightclub. When he took me in his arms I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, he smelt and felt so fucking good! He stuck his tongue in my ear and told me to call him Dick. My clit started jumping right away—Black men don’t generally use that shortened version of their name, so I knew the man was trying to tell me something.

First, give me a few minutes to describe this brother. He was about 6’3” with shoulders so wide he must have to turn sideways to get through a standard door. His stomach was flat and he had an eight pack instead of a six. His buns were high—not ‘girly’ high, but high in the kind of masculine way all you could think of was him riding you and you holding onto his ass like it’s a saddle. Yes, that kind of masculine. When he smiled he had dimples in each cheek and perfect, white teeth. He had neat, shoulder-length dreadlocks and the man knew how to wear clothes. Fuck me!....

Copyright © 2005 Lexy Harper

“HAVE YOU SEEN THE STARS TONITE” has landed and

the 2 CD Special set Have You Seen The Circus Tent Tonite

with over 900 rock and roll photos and the Cathy Richardson 70 minute interview, has landed too!

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JEFFERSON AIRPLANE- JEFFERSON STARSHIP-

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Great Society- Take Me To A Circus Tent

Have You Seen The Stars Tonite

Have You Seen The Circus Tent Tonite

Quality Rock & Roll Airplane

style.

Welcome to Rock Land:

Anything of note going on?

I wanted to thank Amazon for getting the new Jefferson Starship book "Have You Seen The Stars Tonite" ready for sale on the site so quickly.  It isn't common for a 3 week wait the way I had for the Jefferson Airplane book "Take Me To A Circus Tent."  In record time they have come through in a big way!  Thanks to them and to you for all the airmails asking "Are we there yet?"

The news gets better.  For American customers they have offered free shipping.  For the nice folks outside of the U.S.A., the postage rates are excellent!  If you fly over to the site and type in Craig Fenton you can see both the new Jefferson Starship book and Jefferson Airplane.  Thank you 1 trillion times.

If all goes well within 15 minutes a cool one from the Rock Tent Vaults.  It will be a rare Airplane track and a bit of Francis Monkman from Curved Air.  Keep the ears to the ground and the eyes on the stars.

Thanks!!

Relax and have fun!

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE-

JEFFERSON STARSHIP- Great Society-

Take Me To A Circus Tent

I look forward to hearing you later!

The book is Take Me To A Circus Tent (The Jefferson Airplane Flight Manual) W/93 photos, 32 interviews, 543 pages, and a myriad of 5 star reviews!

Please remember at any moment on an Aircast it can be a rare memory from the Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, KBC, Wooden Ships, Marty Balin, Paul Kantner to name several.  Maybe another picture previously unseen from the Rock Tent Vault sees daylight from Herb Greene or Don Aters.

Wishing you a great day,

craig

Greetings, Earthlings,

As a writer looking to self-publish your book, you probably want to know how Wordclay compares to the other major self-publishing companies. Good question. To find the answer to this question, typically you would have to scour the Internet for hours, trying to compare prices and services (if you can find them at all).

But we've done the legwork for you. After hours of meticulous research and number crunching, The Wordclay Blog Team welcomes you to our comprehensive guide to the major self-publishing companies currently printing successful titles.

Unfortunately, many potential authors find themselves drowning in cryptic self-publishing Web sites, struggling against vague currents of information and reaching for just a single, solid price estimation that you might not receive until after you sign a contract.

Wordclay, on the other hand, believes our company information should be as straightforward and available as possible. Publishing your book can play a major part in your future as a writer, and it’s only natural you want to be certain you’re choosing the right company.

In this guide, we've gathered the pricing, printing and promotional details of the major self-publishing companies today – think of this blog as your own personal fountain of publishing knowledge!

Wordclay
Wordclay provides free book self-publishing services for writers who want to take advantage of the DIY authorship approach. The printing cost for copies of your book is built into the selling price of your book, so the amount of royalties you earn is based on the price you select within the wizard.

For example, should you select a price of $16.00 for your standard 6”x9” paperback of 250 pages (costing $9.47 for printing materials per copy) each book sold would earn you $6.53 in royalties. Check out our pricing calculator located on the Wordclay Hompage to test other page counts and prices.

Wordclay is a DIY self-publisher who is focused on providing a simple and independent Internet publishing experience for authors. The Wordclay DIY self-publishing wizard formats manuscripts with astute precision. Almost instantly, a galley is rendered for approval. Full-color cover creation is included in this free DIY self-publishing tool.

Services like book distribution and marketing support are also available for purchase. Visit the Wordclay Self-Publishing Services Store for more details.

###

LuLu.com
Like Wordclay, LuLu Publishing is a free Web-based self-publisher that allows you to upload your manuscript or albums for free and then generate a book (which you can purchase at your own convenience). While LuLu and Wordclay price their books fairly, allocating royalties that can range up to 80 percent of the retail price of your book, the major difference between the two are the range of professional services available.

LuLu has only recently started to offer professional publishing services; but most of their services are provided by their marketplace for community members. Although it is true that in their marketplace you can find editors and designers, Lulu cannot provide any guarantee of the level of expertise, abilities or qualifications of the service providers.

Wordclay, on the other hand, guarantees their products and services. We can do this because we retain in-house experienced professionals in the editorial, design and marketing fields who are ready to work on your specific materials, all at a regular and fair price.

And speaking of price, while the prices fluctuate in Lulu's marketplace, public relations assistance, one of the only promotional services Lulu offers through a partner, can be provided starting at a whopping $3,500. Wordclay is always available to help promote your book whenever you’re ready through various marketing services and products are priced more affordably, starting at $149.

###

Blurb
If you’ve visited Blurb, you’ve seen their free publishing software as well as their high-quality and unique style of books. And it’s true – if you’re looking for a landscape format instead of a portrait (as in a 13”x11” book, more appropriate for extensive art books), then we encourage you to research Blurb more in depth.

But if you’re looking for a traditional layout, with all the professionalism and design of a store bought book, then Wordclay might be a better choice. Because of their formats and extensive picture printing, Blurb is forced to price a 250 page book at almost $40.00, leaving you will copies hard to sell on the book market. And, without editing, professional design or marketing services, you might find yourself in the middle of the publishing stream without a paddle.

###

Create Space
A subsidiary of Amazon.com Inc., Create Space keeps a digital inventory of self-published books, CDs and DVDs, all of which are printed (or manufactured) on-demand. Like Wordclay, Create Space’s publishing program is online and free, but again, like LuLu, their services might be inadequate for your publishing needs.

Create Space has yet to offer any editorial or promotional packages to assist the self-published author, and their custom cover design package is a pricey $75.00 an hour, compared to Wordclay’s Stock Art Cover design which is only $149.00 and grants you up to five hours of design work devoted to your cover. You do the math! 

###

Vantage Press
Vantage Press is a self-publishing company that gives custom quotes based on individual manuscripts. For this reason, the information on their services and prices is scarce, and therefore, unknown by many authors seeking tangible timelines and figures. Perhaps you send your manuscript to Vantage Press, and they’re willing to provide editing, cover design and distribution for your book, but who knows the price?

Much like a restaurant without prices listed on their menu, you can assume the price is high, and if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it. Whatever Vantage Press publishing package price you’re quoted (sometimes ranging from $3,000 to as high as $5,000 per book), your timeline will be significantly delayed by processes you may not even believe are necessary. But Wordclay offers you free publishing, and you can manage your own budget and services on your own terms, whatever your timeline.

###

Book Surge
Unlike Wordclay, Book Surge is a contractual self-publishing company that designs a galley and cover for your book only after you’ve signed with them and paid their initial publishing fee. While publishing a 6”x9” standard paperback with Wordclay is always free, publishing with Book Surge will cost you at least $499.00 for the same book.

Book Surge standard editing costs $0.015 per word (beginning only after a minimum of $300.00), while Wordclay’s offers a variety of editing services, like copyediting and content editing, with no minimum at all. Your standard publicity kit will cost $499.00 with Book Surge, but only $199.00 with Wordclay. So, if you’re looking for a cost-effective publishing method, Wordclay may be your best solution yet.

###

Dorrance Publishing
Like Vantage Press, Dorrance Publishing provides interested authors with custom quotes only after they’ve examined your manuscript. There are no upfront ballpark figures, so you may end up paying an arm and a leg, and your marketing campaign will be totally under their control.

As far as information about Dorrance’s policies goes, little is known publicly; however, we were able to unearth information about their author's royalty arrangements. While Wordclay provides a consistent royalty plan for authors, Dorrance Publishing’s royalty scheme does not, offering 40 percent to authors for copies sold up to 3,500 copies and then decreasing to 25 percent for copies sold over 3,500. For more information concerning Dorrances royalty specifics, see their comment below or visit their Web site.

Your custom cover and basic promotion are included within their initial publishing quote, but like Vantage Press, this quote can range in price. Authors are free to pitch their own ideas concerning their packages, so you may have some wiggle room when it comes to customization.

Books published under the Dorrance imprint are assigned an ISBN and are fully returnable by any bookstore. Dorrance sells thousands of titles each year through bricks and mortar bookstores along with online bookstores. A search for Dorrance Publishing titles on Amazon alone will return close to 2,000 different entries. Additonally, orders are fulfilled via their toll-free number and also via their own online bookstore.

###

Outskirts Press
Outskirt Press is a contractual self-publishing company that offers at least five different publishing packages, with prices ranging from $199.00 (Emerald - Economic Printing package) to $999.00 (Diamond - Ultimate Publishing). Each package includes a number of different editorial, design, custom cover and promotional services, with distribution options as wide as the global network of online booksellers.

Each package Outskirts Press offers is specifically design for a select group of potential authors, authors who may need more direction than you. Hence, where Wordclay surpasses Outskirts is in our flexibility. With Wordclay, publishing is free, and you can add on the services you believe you need. If you don’t require a single service, then publish your book at zero cost. If you want editing or a custom cover, then hire one of our specialists.

Outskirts may have impressive packages, but make sure you really evaluate what you’re looking for in a publisher and what you have envisioned for your book before you sign any contracts.

###

Now that you have a brief synopsis of the major companies, you should have a better understanding of the differences (and similarities) between these other self-publishers and Wordclay. Remember, though – publishing is about you. Wordclay is not perfect for everyone, but our professionals are always working to bring authors of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds the best the industry has to offer. Whether you succeed is your decision.

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Amazing Book,May 5, 2008

Artemis Fowl a smart, pale criminal mastermind is in yet another life-and-death adventure with his trusty bodyguard Butler at his side. Artemis has made another discovery that humans should not ordinarily be smart enough to figure out. With the help of his fairy friends (Foaly, Holly and Mulch) Artemis must save a demon-imp from the french genius Minerva. Demons are appearing everywhere; the time spell the ancient warlocks put into place 10,000 years ago is unraveling.

Has Artemis finally met his match? Can he save the fairies? You must read this suspenseful and funny book to find out. The Lost Colony is a must have for fans of the series. It is also a well-structured fantasy that often feels real. I liked it a lot and I give it 5 Stars.

***

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Continuing the good times!,April 2, 2008

The Artemis Fowl train keeps on rolling as we are introduced to the demons of the fairy world. Colfer continues to come up with unique ways of looking at types of characters (like the elves and dwarves) which give a much different take than what we've seen in traditional fantasy literature.
My one complaint in this book is it's very vague in explaining how Artemis and Foaly are figuring out some equation to know when demons will appear. Plus, the ending is too wide open with the time Artemis has been gone, what has happened while he's gone, and how the elves knew when he'd return. Hopefully it will all be explained in the next book!

***

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Lighten up and enjoy,July 24, 2008

I've read them all as have my kids (15 and 16). This is my 2nd favorite in the series (of course #1 has to be the favorite as it's the introduction to this world created by Colfer).

The reviews I've read are way too critical, I found this book to be great at adding new characters (new book coming up?). The villians are not the smartest, but I really enjoyed the read. Colfer had to have a breakout book like this to expand the characters, and I really liked it.

***

A True Delight (minor spoilers),July 16, 2008

I began reading these books when I was Artemis's age and having more-or-less grown up with him, I adored Time Paradox more than the other recent additions to the series. Three years passed in our world while Artemis was in Limbo in book five, so even though he is physically 14, he should be almost eighteen. It was wonderful to see a more mature Artemis, one with hormones, especially when he was interacting with his more ruthless, cold-hearted, ten-year-old self. I enjoyed the romance the most, as in my opinion, it's the only element this series has been lacking, and the pairing was one I have waited for since book one (no Minerva or even mention of her in this book!). Though we didn't get to see as much of Butler or Foaly as I would have liked, Holly and Mulch as the main supporting characters were excellent as usual. The contrast Colfer presented in the two Artemis was well done, and Artemis the Elder's introspection was interesting to read and showed how the character has matured over the series. We even get to see Root again, which was lovely. Truthfully, I am a little sick of Opal Koboi, and my one complaint is that the epilogue doesn't make sense (time paradox issues). The Extinctionists were hilarious (and creepy) and were the epitome of cartoon-esque bad guys. This book had AF trademark wild escapades, witty dialogue, plot twists, and it made me laugh aloud many times, something that none of the previous books have done. I recommend it to anyone, young or old, who has ever been a fan of AF.

***

Great book, different feel,July 25, 2008

This book was great! However, it did have a different feel from the others. Artemis has begun to mature from his criminal self, so obviously his character will be different from that of the first book. But this maturity can be seen throughout each book and was expected for this one. The general idea of facing one's self was very well written; Artemis' maturity can be seen very clearly. I greatly enjoyed this book, and look forward to any more that may be written!

***

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Best one yet!,September 2, 2006

Averaging one a year, Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl series is no rush-job, I am increasingly enjoying and looking forward to every entry more than the Harry Potter series. Colfer's magical world just seems more accessible and imaginative. And he is constantly changing the type of story rather than just another labored part of a single massive arc.

Slightly longer this time around, the book has Artemis tracking demon activity on the time-displaced island of Hybras. The time spell which keeps Hybras stuck in oblivion is beginning to unravel and Artemis is busy investigating how to fix it when a 12-year-old French female rival (and love interest) kidnaps an insecure, classically educated demon, just as he manifests on Earth, right under Artemis' nose. Not knowing what trouble she has started, Artemis must break into her chatau, travel to Taiwan and match wits with her psychotic security in the Taipei 101 Tower to get the demon back before travelling to Hybras to fix the time spell with Captain Holly in tow.

I especially like the relationship between Artemis and Holly. Once enemies but now close friends. And the ending, not only including an imaginative and pretty damn cool twist, in which they become a part of each other forever (not giving anything away) was a nice touch.

As usual it's packed with ultra-technology that always seems realistic now matter how far-fetched, the typical amount of globe-trotting and the right amount of humor.

Artemis Fowl is definitely the best fantasy boy-hero. Harry Who?

***

Geniuses and Demons,September 17, 2006

This is the fifth installment of the Artemis Fowl series, with reportedly just one more to go. Most of the surviving characters are back, including of course Artemis, the teenaged criminal genius and Butler his bodyguard, as well as Holly, the former female LEPrecon official, Foley the Centaur and Mulch the amazing digging dwarf, but this time there are also new and exciting characters. There's Minerva Paradizo, a twelve year old French child genius who can give Artemis' brain cells a challenge, Doodah Day, a thief who's the Michael Schumacher of the Pixie world, Imp No. 1 the non-warping demon, and the megalomaniac Leon Abbot, but that's not all folks.

Way back when humans and fairies were fighting over the island of Ireland, the eighth fairy family, the Demons, refused to go live underground with the others, instead choosing to take their island home of Hybras into another time dimension until they were ready once again to attack the humans. Unfortunately, something went wrong with the transfer, and the whole island, demons and all ended up in Limbo. However, even time spells don't last forever, and as it unravels, demons begin appearing in the present, and even Foley can't work out exactly where the next one will pop up.

As you may have guessed, Artemis has already figured it out, and starts staking out the sites where demons are due to appear, but is thrown for a loop when he realizes that someone else has done the math, and that the demon he's been stalking has been demon-napped under his very nose. To make it worse, his new rival is a girl, albeit a very pretty one.

Book five has all the elements for an exciting read, including time travel, volcanoes, mercenaries, magical creatures (including a Yoda-like Warlock), and weapons - lots of weapons. There's also the code that runs along the bottom of each page, and I can tell you that it has to do with scrolls, demons and the slapping of rude body parts, but the rest is up to you to find out.

Another great addition to the Artemis Fowl series from Eoin Colfer, certified genius.

***

Artemis Fowl enters puberty,October 2, 2006

The Artemis Fowl series has always been superbly written and brilliantly conceived, with an astonishing array of humor, techno-gadgets, mind-bending plots, daredevil escapes and rescues...frankly, they have a tendency to leave one dizzy - but enchanted.

And this might be the best entry in the series to date.

There are many reasons for this. First, there were at least three places where Colfer could have stopped writing, wrapped the book up, given it a different title, and shipped it off to his publisher and wait to collect his (surely) generous royalty checks. But he didn't. He took us from climax to climax as if we rode a roller coaster, each one at least as exciting and breathtaking as the last - if not more so. Second, Colfer introduces a magnificent new character, Minerva, a 12-year old girl who is quite similar to the 12-year old Artemis we met in the first book. Artemis has a nemesis. Third, and perhaps most importantly, Artemis himself has changed. He is fully in possession of a conscience now, is 14-years old, and finds himself quite uncomfortably pubescent.

As always, Colfer writes in a very loose third-person omniscient voice, hopping from character to character. This is dangerous, unless the author has a firm grasp on all of the elements of his story. Luckily, Colfer does. It's a rare author that can take us into the enemy camp, show us who they are, how they live, their blueprints for whatever foul act they plan to commit, and still leave the pages of the book dripping with tension.

The demands that Colfer places on Artemis are staggering, and by extension the demands he places on himself as a writer are similarly so. To not violate Artemis' core-identity, yet have him find his way with the use of a moral compass, is virtually unthinkable. But Colfer did it. Artemis grew, he changed, but yet he was still Artemis at heart. Brilliant, conniving, and, when need be, ruthless. Ruthless...and still a good guy? Yup.

I'm thankful that Colfer didn't take the easy way out, and that he pushed himself harder and further than I've seen him do yet. If this book is any indication of what we can expect from the next - I'm holding my breath. Thankfully, Colfer writes quickly, so it shouldn't be too long of a wait, and I won't find myself in a morgue somewhere.

***

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Best of the series? But more still to come!,April 23, 2005

If it were not for the occasional appearance of Mulch Diggums, the dwarf with f*rts so explosive they can propel him safely from an underwater submarine all the way up to the surface of the ocean, the adult reader would find this the equal of any thriller written for adult eyes.

In the present volume, the evil child genius Artemis Fowl has forgotten all about his friends the fairies, and is occupied stealing a famous painting from a bank vault in true Mission-Impossible style. His triumph is interrupted by his archenemy pixie Opal Koboi, who has a plot (perhaps this won't surprise you) to destroy the world. Without giving away any of the rapid-fire plot developments, let's just say that Artemis, accompanied by Holly Short the intrepid LEPrechaun, Foaly the tech-wizard centaur, Artemis' bodyguard Butler, and the strangely compelling Mulch, fouls her plans (ok, sorry).

The intriguing list of gadgets and devices author Eoin Colfer employs to move the plot forward includes: cloning, creatures who shed their entire skin and use it later as a disguise in a prison break, retinal imaging, 100 million tons of molten iron, heat-seeking missiles, spacesuits with helmets that carry biometric information back to the center of the earth, handguns that bond with their owners, etc.

The ending promises a change for Holly, but a future with lots of Mulch and Artemis in it - and possibly some romance in later volumes.

The excitement, pace, and humor would be precisely like the best PG-13 thriller you will see at the movie theatre this summer, were it not for the fact that many of the characters are fairies, pixies, trolls, and dwarfs. And just like those movies, a few parents will wish there were less, well, military hardware in this series. A few of the more humorless moms will wish there were fewer f*rts. If those things don't bother you, you should not let the