Suggesting that Presidential candidate should no be scrutinized, or discussed by the media is a bogus issue. If a candidate teach, or control actions of members of the family, how could one manage the affairs of the nation?

This item is not designed to single Sarah Palin. Governor Palin, however, is an obvious example of how families of candidates matter. If parents cannot teach off springs how to behave, or not to behave, how can they be expected to manage the affairs of the nation. Managing the behavior of a seventeen year old should not be more difficult than managing cabinet members, of a number of Generals.

Firstly, what exactly does the Conservative leader really mean when he seeks to tackle 'breakdown Britain' with his vision of a 'responsibility society'?  As Cameron asks people to take ownership of their  health, schools and communities, what he is calling for is a smaller (and cheaper) state.  A culture in which social ills are the concerns of individuals, not government. 

Cameron offers us 'Conservative-lite', a carefully managed, highly spun, vision of modern Conservatism.  It is a PR package; an electoral device.  Cameron's promotion of 'responsibility' is in reality retrenchment.  This is recognised, indeed celebrated, by Tim Montgomerie at ConservativeHome, who reports that the Tory commitment to match Labour spending until 2011 will not be repeated.

So what of fairness?  Fairness - as Sunder Katwala and the Fabians often remind us - doesn't happen by chance.  Fairness requires an active state, intervening, agitating and fighting to narrow inequalities.  How does Cameron reconcile this with reduced spending and greater individual responsibility?  He can't.  We on the left need to start asking these awkward questions because the Tories don't have the answers.

While walking along the path, I saw a german shepard lying at his owner's feet. Normally I will kinda stoop down as I walk by and let the dog
sniff my hand. this dog however, did not do nyhing. Intrigued, I bent down to investigate. Why did Fido not want to play?

I tentatively put my hand forward, but nothing - the dog just stares into open space. As I move my hand a bit closer ... SNAP! The dog barks and tries to take a chunck out of my forearm. I instinctively lunge back as I feel the sharp teeth on my sleeve.

I stand up and look at the owner, still a bit shocked at what had happened. She's a middle aged woman, thin, unaware. She simply says "no petting." I walk away unscathed but a bit angry and no idea at who.

I was stupid to try and pet the dog without asking, but damn, should she really be bringing a biting dog to such a pubic place? What if a small child were to be curious?

The point of this post is not simpy about an ill handled dog. It is about trust. I have grown up trusting dogs completely. I've known many breeds from small dogs to large huskies. Tonight's incident did not really scare me that much but I realized it really makes me doubt my compete trust of the canines.

One incident and my trust of an entire species is threatened. It does not take much to break trust, no matter how good a reputation may be. I'm sure this applies to people as well. However, we should not let one moment ruin all the ones after it. Next dog I see, I'm gonna regain that trust. Ok, only if it is not a police attack dog.

Tis' all.

Update 1 I want to call this....

No, no kiddies yet but "kitties". My wife and I decided, in order to get used to getting up at night, feeding at certain times of the day and to take on responsibility for small creatures, to grow the family by 1 or even 2 kittens. Latter depends on what we can find :-)

So, yesterday we started with the essentials and went to Pets at Home.

What we got - and please let us know what we might still need. This is a first one for us:

• Book about cats
• Transport basket
• cat nip
• kitten food and dishes
• litter tray with "accessories"
• kitten collar
• toys
• scratching post and climber

And, what we are hoping to get are similar ones to those, as kittens of course:

I keep you posted. Hopefully we have them by next weekend!

Volker

My Mother

It is surely every school year that I hear a student say to me, “Ms. Helmuth, does everyone from Minnesota talk like you do?’  I smile quietly, waiting for the hush to instill itself upon the classroom.  I look directly into the eyes of the questioner, happy to answer his inquiry.  Then I respond with great care, “No dear, just my mother.”

You see, when one of us made the mistake of using bad grammar, my mother saw fit to not only correct us, but to bestow upon us an explanation for the correction.  She was a firm believer in the sanctity of the 1950 English Grammar book she used in grade school while sitting in a wooden desk in a little white school house with no air conditioning, no central heating system and no indoor plumbing.  Despite these grave circumstances, she readily, willingly and with great pride engaged herself in her studies.  It is because of this self-motivation, my mother could explain why one should never end a sentence with a preposition, and furthermore, how one could determine if a word were indeed a preposition.  According to my mother the detection of prepositions simply revolved around one simple phrase “The rabbit ran ______ the fence.”  Nine times out of ten, she told us, the word that could properly complete the blank was indeed a preposition.  Then she left us to our own devices while we conjured up words with which to fill in that blank.  She’d answer any relevant questions we had, but we were from that moment held responsible to know what a preposition was and to know to avoid its usage at the end of our sentences.  Then she sent us to school when we turned six, assured that we had learned a sufficient amount about grammar in her kindergarten class.

Even today there are times when my mother is speaking that I am still forced to mentally tag one of her words and seek help from a dictionary prior to having another conversation with her, and it is because I know it is my responsibility to fill in the blank.  She has given me the sentence and the context within which to determine the appropriate meaning of the word, and if I am too lazy to take the responsibility of accessing a dictionary, then I must tolerate and accept the consequences of my own ignorance.

After that long explanation my students look at me wide-eyed, sure that I was reared by the mother of  Grendel.  I smile sweetly and remind them that they are seniors.  Their assignment is to fill the blank in the world and perhaps they’d best get started.

In our literature class, we've been reading Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein."  A discussion arose around the central theme of this book.  Shelley definitely centers around Victor Frankenstein's lack of accountability.  He screws up a lot of things over the course of his life, which we all do, but he doesn't take responsibility for any of it.  He blames his dad for allowing him to study Agrippa, he blames his bad health on his work, and when he should take ownership of his creature, he runs the other way.  Nothing is ever his fault.

That is a major problem with society today.  The vast majority of things that don't work in this country is because no one wants to take responsibility for their actions.  Look at MCI Worldcom.  Look at Enron.  Look at the soaring oil prices and the slumping economy.  All of this can be traced back to a time when someone did something and knew they could get away with it, because all they had to do was lie about their involvement and get off the hook.

This is why, so far, I like what John McCain is selling.  I know most people that would be reading this and most of my peers would give me a hard time about my political views, but he seems to be genuine in the fact that he wants to put party lines aside and do what's good for America.  Finally, a politician who's about being accountable and holding others accountable.  Now, I'm not so naive to think that he's above the "good ol' boy" system, but if you look at his record, I think he's for real about fixing the system.  Throw in Sarah Palin, who's taken on the "old guard" in politics already, and who's not been in Washington long enough to pick up some bad habits, and you've got yourself one hell of a ticket!

For the last week I've been on a wilderness canoe trip without any phone or computer or cars or humans other than my partner. It was the first time I've been without contact to the rest of society in...as long as I can remember. It's been a new attempt at finding balance in my life - something every organizer I know is desperately searching for, since organizing is a thankless endeavor that takes over your entire life, to the point where you eat, sleep, and breathe the work. The pressure of striving to do your best to have your work guided by deep accountability to the communities or folks you work with is a tremendous responsibility that doesn't seem to be in the lexicon of our elected officials.

I just stepped into a canoe lodge on the Canadian/Minnesota border, and the first thing I hear about the outside world is a vice presidential candidate dissing community organizing. I've heard a lot of really foul things come out of the mouths of politicans from both major parties. It's expected. But this time I was just suprised. Community organizing, whether on the Left or the Right is the lifeblood of this country and the engine of change. 

I realize someone posted about this on IGHIH earlier, (not sure about the blogging ettiquite of posting twice about the same subject, excuse the possible faux pas) but I wanted to share a couple insights from people I like.

Jay Smooth from Illdoctrine put it best:

And as shared on racewire, Deepak Bhargava, Executive Director of the Center for Center for Community Change, said:

When Sarah Palin demeaned community organizing, she didn’t attack another candidate. She attacked an American tradition —- one that has helped everyday Americans engage with the political process and make a difference in their lives and the lives of their neighbors.All across the country, in every state and every community, there are community organizers helping people find shared solutions to the shared problems they face. The candidates for President and Vice President should be working to solve our shared problems, too, rather than attack others who trying to do the same.

Yup. And as some other friends of mine pointed out, we just saw what the Republicans really think of community organizing and peaceful protest, after turning the Twin Cities into what resembled a warzone, with tazers, mace, teargas, concussion grenades, mass arrests of bystanders and even media, rubber bullets, and the national guard. After that, snarky comments about organizers not shouldering responsibility don't seem so bad, eh?

Oh and in case you didn't see the link earlier, here's the video of Palin's remarks:

Taking personal responsibility can and will change your life. I was inspired to write this post by something that Mr. Barrack Obama said. If you are creating change in your life, you need to take personal responsibility. If you are attracting more prosperity to your life, you need to take personal responsibility. You cannot depend on anyone to create change for you.

Yes, you may need some support. I’m a support person and what I know about support people is that they can’t help themselves. Who can you identify in your life (besides me) that is willing to support your growth? Are there any other books, people, or aides you can take along with you on your journey?

After taking personal responsibility in my own life, I began seeing results. I once was jobless. I once had very little or no money to buy food. I didn’t wallow in my misery. I took responsibility for my situation and responsibility to change my situation. Explore you situation and then write the exact opposite of that situation. Ask yourself how you can get there and do it. It is possible. Within a few months time I began seeing results after taking personal responsibility and I urge you to the same.

Until Next Time,
Kimmy B.

P.S. This is a supportive community. Please write your ideas and suggestions about taking personal responsibility below.

For the last week I've been on a wilderness canoe trip without any phone or computer or cars or humans other than my partner. It was the first time I've been without contact to the rest of society in...as long as I can remember. It's been a new attempt at finding balance in my life - something every organizer I know is desperately searching for, since organizing is a thankless endeavor that takes over your entire life, to the point where you eat, sleep, and breathe the work. The pressure of striving to do your best to have you work guided by a practice deep accountability to the folks you work with is a tremendous responsibility that doesn't seem to be in the lexicon of our elected officials.

I just stepped in to a canoe lodge on the Canadian/Minnesota border, and the first thing I hear about the outside world is a vice presidential candidate dissing community organizing. I've heard a lot of really foul things come out of the mouths of politicans from both major parties. But this time I was actually shocked. Community organizing, whether on the Left or the Right is the lifeblood of this country and the engine of change. I realize someone posted about this on IGHIH earlier, but I wanted to share a couple insights from people I like.

Jay Smooth from Illdoctrine put it best:

And as shared on racewire, Deepak Bhargava, Executive Director of the Center for Center for Community Change, said:

When Sarah Palin demeaned community organizing, she didn’t attack another candidate. She attacked an American tradition —- one that has helped everyday Americans engage with the political process and make a difference in their lives and the lives of their neighbors.All across the country, in every state and every community, there are community organizers helping people find shared solutions to the shared problems they face. The candidates for President and Vice President should be working to solve our shared problems, too, rather than attack others who trying to do the same.

Yup. And as some friends of mine pointed out, we just saw what the Republicans really think of community organizing and peaceful protest, after turning the Twin Cities into what resembled a warzone, with tazers, mace, teargas, concussion grenades, mass arrests of bystanders and even media, rubber bullets, and the national guard. After that, snarky comments about organizers not shouldering responsibility don't seem so bad, eh?

Oh and in case you didn't see the link earlier, here's the video of Palin's remarks:

The Lesson of Least Effort : Trusting the process of work

There is a basic American belief that to achieve success, hard work and lots of it are in order. The more time you can spend rehearsing, writing, performing, traveling to expand your fan base, marketing on the computer, the more assured of success you are. Nowhere is this less true than the music business. There are no Win a Grammy 101 classes at your local college. You can do everything perfectly, work endlessly and still not achieve stellar success. Hunter S. Thompson pretty much nailed it when he said, "The music business is a shallow hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

To negate the utter depression of this career where 99.9% of projects fail, we can take comfort again in nature . The lessons of nature and time are perfect reminders that whatever is coming to us will come, despite and in spite of our efforts.  No one has to cajole a bud to open into a flower. It is its nature to do so.  No matter how much we try to make time move forward or backward it doesn't happen. Nothing can be rushed or hurried. "Let life unfold. The secret is to focus on what you want, do what is before you to make it happen and TRUST THE PROCESS." as Joe Vitale, the author of Life's Missing Instruction Manual, reminds us.

Deepak Chopra's Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (i think of them as lessons more than laws) Is 116 pages of the wisest most applicable advice on success I've read. The Seven Laws Chopra so eloquently expresses are pure potentiality, giving, karma, intention and desire, detachment , the law of "dharma" or purpose in life and the astounding revelation of the Law of Least Effort.

In Vedic science there is a philosophy known as the principle of least effort or "do less and accomplish more." Lao Tzu's Way of Life, the 81 poems concerning Taoism written a millienum before Christ, is peppered with least effort references. It's the square peg round hole philosophy. No matter what you do you cannot force the peg into the hole and the more you try the worse things will ultimately get. The lesson here is to let yourself essentially be a channel to your Source and live in the spirit of now to create the fabric of your innate calling.

" When you are in harmony with nature when you are established in the knowledge of your true self you can make use of the law of least efffort." states Dr Chopra. Notice the words harmony and nature. We all know how harmony actually resonates in our natural body when we create it as a musician or singer. Give up the constant push and shove and strive for harmony and natural intuition in your work. "Yet equally not one moment before it's appointed time will it happen, " author Edward Carpenter tells us," all your crying and fever and reaching out of hands will make no difference. Therefore, do not begin that game at all. "

Create harmony as you channel your calling today. Dr. Chopra not only presents this lesson to us but also provides practical ways to apply it in every day life. Put into practice Dr Chopra's ideas and learn the lesson of least effort.
*practice acceptance. Know that whatever is happening is occuring as it should
*responsibility of your situation - without blame to others or yourself accept resoonsibility of your situation
*defenselessness- relinquish the need to defend your position- recognizing it is a waste of energy.

This year, I have three students who will be coming to my class, but who are not back yet from vacation for the first two days of school we had this past week.  This happens every year.  We now have most of the organizational tasks out of the way, and will start seriously working on Monday.  Yet these other students will not have all their notebooks and classroom affairs organized, and will have to play "catch-up," meaning that it will take my planning periods for about two days to work with these students to catch them up.

Do other teachers have this problem?

In most cases, the children's families have decided that the first day of school is too "early," or "inconvenient for the family to return from vacation by that day," reasons for not showing up.  As the teacher, I find this extremely annoying.  It feels to me like these families are not respecting the school's, or the teacher's time.  (But as I'm writing this, I realize this is a common problem throughout the Middle East--everyone shows up late for appointments without calling, or perhaps not at all, because no one respects ANYONE's time--they only respect their own time!)

What do other teachers think about this?

Eileen

It takes many years to get rid of these dead algea. The water will die. Now, my wondering is how it is possible for factories and farmers to discharge so much nitrogen and phosphorus into the water without any notice. How much more is the farmers worth than the water. The environment! Our environment. I don't understand that they are permitted to buy nitrogen. And who is it that don't stop the discharge.

At a high-level, Owner is accountable for a service/process/task/product (by ensuring that the expected outcome & quality is delivered, maintained and improved) - whereas Manager is responsible for the same (by ensuring adherence/compliance and consistency)

Now the words are used in different frameworks - including ITIL. The intention of this post is to high-light a misinterpretation that has been observed in people's mind regarding their usage in the ITIL documentation.

First, ITIL differentiates process Owner and Process Manager - in accordance with the accepted definition:

Process owner is responsible to ensure the process is fit for purpose - including, planning, design, implementation, monitoring and improvement of the process.

Process Manager is responsible for the operational management of the process.

Secondly ITIL defines the role of Service Owner:

A Service Owner is accountable for a specific Service - end-to-end.

Ok, so Service Manager is .... Uh oh! Hold on....

Service manager is not a role just responsible for operational management of specific service. This one one obvious assumption people can get into, because of the comparison of the Process manager definition.

According to ITIL, 'this important role manages the development, implementation, evaluation and ongoing management of  new products and Services.' The description goes on to say they are responsible for achieving objectives and strategies.

The definition also says 'Service manager is responsible for managing end-to-end life cycle of the service.'

Now one thing is beyond me - why Service manager role will be concerned about Products!

Ignoring that as a possible typo/overlook in editing- this definition brings in a lot of overlap between Service manager and Service owner - though interpretations can be derived to differentiate these roles. 

But this is some thing frameworks should try and avoid: leaving much to interpretations...

I hope that things will change. God help me. I have grown weary of hurting people because of my lack of responsibility. I have grown weary of the same financial cycle. I need to grow up. Quickly.

Hey, pray for me, please!

Parakeets

Parakeets, also known as budgies or budgerigars, are probably the most popular small bird and a great choice for beginner parrot enthusiasts. These little bundles of feathers, if tamed when very young, can often be very good with children as long as the children understand the bird is not a toy but a living, feeling creature with wants and desires all its own. Available in a rainbow of colors, these small parrots require little space compared to large birds and taking care of them is simple and easy. They are very intelligent; many learn a large vocabulary of human words, whistles and even songs. These little birds live from 12 to 20 years if cared for properly. If you are not going to be home much to interact with the parakeet, purchase two and they will play together and provide lots of joy watching them. These pets are also good for older people who don't want all the responsibility and maintenance of a dog or cat. Food cost is minimal but budgies love to eat lots of human foods along with their seeds or pellets and they relish vegetables and grasses. Parakeets are native to Australia where huge flocks of them still fly in the sparely populated regions. It is interesting to note that "budgerigar" comes from an Aborigines word that means "pretty good eating" but not one in the modern world would want to eat one of these beautiful little creatures.

Cockatiels

Cockatiels are another great choice for the novice parrot owner. These medium sized parrots are also native to Australia. They can learn to talk and sing quite well and learn other sounds such as telephones ringing, door bells and much more. Their whistling ability allows them to learn entire whistled songs. These parrots can live from 15 to 30 or more years with diligent care. They are playful and often good with children. Their intelligence level is very high but they are a bit more calm that the energetic, playful parakeet. The colorful orange spots on each cheek give them a clownish look that is loved by millions.

Sun Conures

Sun conures are medium sized parrots and have the most colorful feathers of any of the five most popular species. They are not much larger than a cockatiel but a bit fuller in their bodies. The red, orange, yellow, blue and green plumage in adulthood is striking. They can learn to talk but they also have very loud screams which are used to alarm for danger and to show displeasure. If you live in an apartment, you might want to choose a quieter parrot like the parakeet or cockatiel.  These playful parrots can live from 25 to 50 or more years of age provided accident or illness does not shorten their lives. Their larger, stronger beaks do not make them a good prospect for families with children because they can easily break the skin when displeased and pushed to the point of biting. Purchase a hand-raised baby and train it well and you'll have an adoring friend for a long time.

Parrotlets

Parrotlets are small parrots that are quiet feisty. Their intelligence level is very high and they tend to have the attitude of a much larger bird. There are reasonably quiet and therefore great for apartment dwellers. They can live 20 or more years which is a long time for a little creature that only measures about five inches long!

African Greys

African greys round out the top five most popular birds for pets. These birds are highly intelligent and can learn to speak thousands of words. They can be demanding and are easily bored, requiring lots of attention and toys. These larger birds can live 50 to 100 or more years with proper care. In fact, there have been documented cases of them living over 130 years. These are fun and bright companions that want to be with you everywhere you go.

*...But as I am writing it now, I've modified it significantly so as to blend better with current thought, and also to incorporate recent concepts when relevant...*

As I explained in Playing the Victim, one of my co-workers was suffering from acute depression, and asked for advice. The solution I gave her was *obviously* to stop "playing the victim", and accept responsibility for her life - thus empowering herself and providing the psychological leverage needed to deal with the other issues, and begin progressing with life again. Although this solution is logically valid, I've become to realize more and more how much truth cannot be logically justified -so, for lack of better feelings, I should  "be more considerate of her feelings"- for lack of better phrasing - So this depression needs to be handled more gradually, using "gentler" methods :P

Due to the ever-constant chaos already eminent in her life, dealing with it logically would be impossible, because logic has already become irrelevant. I assured her that I would see what I could do in finding a [irony alert!] more *reasonable* solution, and fortunately, I think I've found one. Well, from the looks of things the *best* solution is a work-in-progress, but at the very least it's something to work off of. Of course the solution has nothing to do with drugs. I was medicated for several years in the past, and although I definitely had, and *have* the illnesses I was diagnosed with, I found I did far better without them. Come to think of it, the several different medications I was given did little more than sedate me. As far as I can tell, that was about it. Don't ask why, I have know clue :P

As I mentioned in that same post ("Playing the Victim") I was able to deal with my psychological issues best (by an overwhelming margin) without medication; if anything the medication just made things worse. So although I cannot speak for anyone else, From my person experiences I would definitely recommend against the ingestion of psychological drugs of any kind. Treatment is frequently contrasted with "Cure", being only a temporary/partial solution (i.e. to minimize symptoms)- Cures are permanent.

I think the fact that medication only minimizes symptoms is particularly interesting- after all, "Symptoms" are the proof that the body/mind/etc. is fighting against the disease/etc. If the symptoms disappear, that doesn't mean the person is better. In fact, if the disease/etc. still exist despite symptoms, that should be considered a bad thing, since the immune system is essentially being suppressed, allowing the disease freely roam, resulting in far worse [in this case] mental health. Well, that's just speculation on my part, but such an opinion is also implied in "I Never Promised you Roses". In the cases of depression, the "cure" might well be to deal with the problem as described in "Playing the Victim"- however, for now, a temporary solution [*treatment*] should suffice.

Among many-- more minor illnesses, I have Bipolar- previously known as "manic-depressive" disorder. The previous name is much more descriptive, but I guess they're trying to be more politically correct :P I regularly go through cycles- between depressive and more manic states; I maintain a more "normal" demeanor in-between. The upside and downside of Bipolar is the same: the cycles are predictable. That is- I only get depressed or manic "when I'm supposed to"- this makes cycles very predictable, and I can schedule accordingly, since it works like clockwork. But of course, no one likes getting depressed-- well, I'm sure plenty of people like getting manic though :P Then again, I don't ever get anxious (for certain reasons that I'll cover in later posts) so I don't have to deal with that part of the manic cycle...but for whatever its worth, that's the downside.

A while ago I realized that I could completely thwart the depression cycles (although the manic isn't so bad) by making a habit of automatically rejecting the logical validity of all negative thoughts. Although I did not realize it then, I had already been doing such a thing for a few years now. But I have also realized that, in accordance with balance, to disregard any emotion logically, I had to lose my emotions; this is because to logically get rid of emotions, one must believe any previous emotions to never have existed- this is necessary because emotions are the backbone of passion and desire- no decision can follow through without one's emotions backing it.

Getting back to habits though, as I detailed in [insert post], it's possible to force oneself to change the perception of anything you want, even if it is the exact opposite of the original and natural perception. In that experiment, as I was walking in the freezing cold (of last winter, to be exact) I decided to imagine the pain as being pleasure, and concentrated on the cold being a good thing, setting aside all "common sense" in favor of this perception. The result was a bit surprising- by concentrating the pain completely went away- it was very exciting seeing how perceptions can be manipulated this way.

The only thing lacking with this is that one must concentrate to experience the conversion. That's where habits come in. The purpose of habits is to keep of memory of thing that are done often, and usually require a degree of concentration. It is an adaptation that allows us to perform tasks better the more that we do it, because those things we've already concentrated on a lot are stored in our "cache", which frees up our "memory" to focus on the finer details, or other tasks. Although perhaps I'm a bit partial due to my hobbies, I think that the human brain is strikingly similar to the computer- or, even more likely, the other way around.

As a result of these habits, I have not felt depressed for a few years now.

*Note "felt"- "depression can mean more than one thing; "felt" meaning that I have not had any sad or depressing thoughts for a while. In retrospect BTW this is not a good thing- to accomplish this required "unbreacheable" psychological walls to be put up, resulting in an almost completely nonchalant perspective towards everything; the root meaning of depression ("to slow down"/ "fall" / "be undone" /etc) is still true even now- the depression just does not include the emotional components (i.e. sadness/melancholy/etc.)*

There was one brief period a while back (see Self-Awareness post ) but that only last half an hour. I was thrust into a terrible depression, due to not being able to prepare a decent resume (I had no work experience at the time). But, seeing that I needed it to get done, I forcibly moved myself forward, and was able to pull off what had appeared to be impossible, thus effectively ending that "episode". Recalling this incident has also played a key role in determining another, more "reasonable" solution to my coworker's problem.

All of "today" (*see top*), as expected, I experienced the usual wave of depression. Well, I say depressed, but (as explained above) the only symptom I still experience is a complete lack of motivation to do anything productive. On these days I might normally do nothing but watch anime- and in WCS even lack the motivation to play games. But even when I have such days, going to work is not a problem. Actually, on these days going to work is actually more of a vacation, anyway. Much of the reason for this is explained in Opportunity- that is, working each day with the awareness that half my pay is not in the salary, but in the opportunity to work. As I've discovered over time, the reason why working can be so fulfilling- is because of expectations- knowing that our coworkers and supervisors expect us to do the job well, and fullfilling those expectations, fills us with a wonderful sense of pride. The way I see it, this is "running away from ourselves"- here's why:

Who we are- that which we perceive ourselves to be, and also who and that which we perceive others to be, is dependent on memory, which also means that we can only see ourselves and other people as we were in the past. That is because we are contantly changing and growing, clarifying and building upon who we are every second, although the changes may not be noticed for years. Because of that, the person we perceive ourselves to be, is actually the past, and is not entirely accurate. The irony (and amusement) of this, is that we are able to change in the first place for this same reason. See, to move forward and grow, we must leave our past behind us, which I believe is a necessity due to balance. Interestingly enough, it is also a central theme for reincarnation. So "running away" from ourself in essence means "leaving behind the past" to move towards a better future. So perhaps a more optimistic phrasing would be "running to" (although that would totally kill the visual)

Since I am a restless individual, lacking in patience (although I have aquired a significant patience these past few months, in recognition of the need) I first dealt with my lack of motivation by being confrontational (i.e. a complete ass) with my roommates. Thinking about it now, that initial approach is strikingly similar to Linkin Park's song "Breaking the Habit". From what I can tell, this journey I'm going through has an extremely close likeness that the journey that Linkin Park depicts in their music, so I often listen to the words of their songs for guidance. As the contributers (of that song) in Linkin Park did though, I realized that there were better ways of dealing with it, that I needed to 'break the habit'.

So I started settling down, and played games with them instead. Here I realized another way of self-treating depression. Summing it all up, a person's psychological health is primarily dependent on one factor- pride. This is why it's important to not play the victim- depression is caused by insecurity. The opposite of insecurity is self-control. Taking control of a situation is an active way of alleviating insecurity (and thus depression), but it's likely that in most cases of depression, the person's state-of-mind renders them incapable of taking the initiative- thus a passive response is necessary. By playing games with my roommates that I knew I would win, and by following through with that expectation, I am able to alleviate my insecurity in a passive manner. That is, it required no initiative, because they already wanted to play- I only had to say "yes". Thus, one of the best ways to alleviate depression passively, without initiative, is to put oneself in an environment where we will succeed, and have the expectations of others to drive and support that success.

With both the resume incident and the days that I played games to relieve depression, the key factor is power. In one way or another, empowering oneself plays a vital role in allowing us to move on. To put in another way, the most efficient way to get over depression is to "pet your ego" by showing off your strengths to others. Pride is, after all, one of our greatest needs as humans, making this a reliable "quick fix" for depression

BHUBANESWAR, September 5 (Compass Direct News) – Asserting that most area Hindus are tolerant and peaceable, victims of ongoing anti-Christian violence in the eastern state of Orissa blamed the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (World Hindu Council or VHP) and other extremist groups for the terror of the past two weeks.

“The mobs that attacked our parishes and institutions were largely composed of extremists from the VHP and its youth wing, Bajrang Dal,” said Bishop Sarat Chandra Nayak of the Behrampore Catholic diocese.

At least four parishes, a presbytery and a youth hostel were destroyed in Munniguda town in Rayagada district under the Behrampore diocese in the spate of violence that began following the killing of a VHP leader, Laxmanananda Saraswati, and four of his associates in Kandhamal district on August 23. Christian leaders say more than 100 lives have been lost and thousands of houses, churches and institutions damaged or destroyed in the violence.

The state government attributed the assassination of the VHP leader and his associates to Maoists who have since claimed responsibility for the murders, but the Hindu extremist groups continue to blame Christians.

Asked if he condemned the violence on Christians, VHP Orissa State President Gauri Prasad Rath told Compass that he categorically did not.

“You should ask me to condemn the killing of Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati and his associates with AK-47s by Christians,” he said.

While the Global Council of Indian Christians says more than 100 people have been killed in the violence, the Kandhamal District Collector’s Office told Compass that the death toll is only 14 people. The office reports 22,685 people are in relief camps in Kandhamal. The same office has also reported that 2,400 buildings have been destroyed in the mayhem, though Christian leaders believe the total is much higher.

Hindus Protected Christians

Father Mathew Puthyadam, a Catholic priest in Phulbani town in Kandhamal district, told Compass that local Hindu families gave him shelter.

As mob of around 4,000 people was carrying the body of Saraswati in a procession outside his church on the night of August 24, he said, he first sought shelter with Christians.

“When the mob was destroying my parish [Christ the King Church], I went to the house of parish workers nearby and hid in a broken bathroom,” Fr. Puthyadam said. “The mob somehow came to know that the house belonged to Christians, and they launched an attack on it. They beat up the two boys who live there, but they managed to escape. Thankfully, they did not come to the bathroom.”

About an hour after the mob left, Fr. Puthyadam came out to the street to see if it was safe for him to leave.

“A Hindu lady told me some extremists were still roaming around,” he said. “She asked me to hide in her kitchen and gave me food to eat.”

Later, Fr. Puthyadam fled to a forest, and finally came to the Archbishop’s House in the state capital, Bhubaneswar.

“Many among the mob were goons and thieves who were seemingly led by extremist groups,” he recalled, saying he felt he had gotten a “second life” as he could have been killed.

Another priest who managed to reach Bhubaneswar after a seven-day journey from Onjamundi village in Kandhamal district praised local Hindu families for protecting him.

“On the evening of August 25, a mob of 300 people who were armed with pistols, chisels and sticks, started burning houses and churches,” said Father Laxmikant Pradhan, a Catholic priest. “We could see thick smoke rising from all around. But Hindu families in the village asked Fr. Prabodha Kumar, my associate, and I to hide in their homes.”

Ravindranath Pradhan, a 45-year-old former soldier of the Indian Army, told Compass that VHP supporters attacked Christian houses in his village of Gadragaon in the Rupagaon area of Kandhamal.

“We know the attackers – they are from the VHP,” he said. “We have named them in our police complaint.”

Pradhan and 113 others reached Bhubaneswar on August 28 after walking for four days from Gadragaon. The homeless Christians were given shelter in a YMCA center in the capital city.

Creating a Rift

Some Orissa locals believe the extremists meant to create a rift between Christian missionaries and lower-caste tribal peoples known as “Other Backward Classes” (OBCs).

Prabhu Kalyan Mahapatra, a local Hindu and freelance journalist, told Compass that he did not think the violence was the result of what media are portraying as a Hindu-Christian “clash.”

In Kandhamal, there are OBCs who are lower castes but not “outcasts,” Mahapatra said, noting that the OBCs were mainly traders, while Dalits and tribal peoples were laborers and the poorest of the poor. He said the OBCs exploited Dalit and tribal people.

“However, Christian missionaries provided education to Dalits and tribals, which was not liked by the OBCs for obvious reasons,” he said, pointing out that several people from Dalit and tribal backgrounds had risen to become bureaucrats and members of parliament because of education provided by Christian institutions. “And the VHP took advantage of the situation and created a rift between OBCs and Christian missionaries.”

Mahapatra said that locals’ tolerance for Christian converts made Hindu-Christian conflict an unlikely reason for the violence. A Christian convert, Madhusudan Das, was recognized by the people of all local communities as the “father of modern Orissa,” he said.

Das, a lawyer, social reformer and patriot, worked for the political, social and economical uplift of people of eastern India, especially Orissa, and contributed numerous articles and poems both in Oriya and English.

“If the people of these communities respect a convert [Das], how can you say the Hindus of Orissa are not tolerant?” he asked.

Mahapatra explained how the VHP extended Saraswati’s funeral procession to incite violence.

“The funeral was taken from Saraswati’s ashram [religious center] in Jalespeta to his other ashram in Chakapada in Kandhamal, covering around 134 kilometers, when the distance between the two ashrams is merely 70 kilometers,” he said.

The attacks on Christians began during the funeral procession, he added.

New Tensions Feared

The Orissa government yesterday put a ban on rally planned by the VHP to take the ashes of Saraswati in another public procession throughout Orissa villages beginning on Sunday (September 7), according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

The ban was announced by the state government in hearing of a petition filed by Archbishop Raphael Cheenath from Orissa in the Supreme Court of India. The state government, however, fears fresh trouble on Sunday, as it is believed that the VHP may still go ahead with the processions.

“The state government has decided to rush additional force to the riot-affected areas in view of VHP’s proposed ‘kalas puja’ [worship of the remains of a deceased] of slain Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati,” reported The Indian Express newspaper today.

According to the Evangelical Fellowship of India, mobs led by extremist groups are “roaming in Kandhamal and threatening the Christians to ‘reconvert’ or face death.”

Christians from various denominations will fast and pray for the Christians in Orissa on Sunday.

The VHP and the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, a partner of the ruling government led by the Biju Janata Dal party, continue to blame Christians for the killing of Saraswati and four others in spite of the Maoist claim of responsibility for the assassination.

Saraswati allegedly incited the attacks on Christians and their property in Kandhamal during last Christmas season. The violence lasted for more than a week beginning December 24, and killed at least four Christians and burned 730 houses and 95 churches.

The 2007 attacks were allegedly carried out mainly by VHP extremists under the pretext of avenging an alleged attack on Saraswati by local Christians. Hundreds of Christians were displaced by the violence in Kandhamal, and many are still in various relief camps set up by the state government.

Christians make up 2.4 percent of Orissa’s population, or 897,861 of the total 3.7 million people.

Report from Compass Direct News

BHUBANESWAR, India, September 4 (Compass Direct News) – Christian victims of Hindu extremist violence who have fled to the capital of the eastern state of Orissa said state police have been mere spectators as mayhem continued a 12th consecutive day.

Attacks on Christians and their property and institutions began in Orissa’s Kandhamal district following the killing of a Vishwa Hindu Parishad (World Hindu Council or VHP) leader, Laxmanananda Saraswati, and four of his disciples on August 23. Maoists claimed responsibility for the murders on Monday (Sept. 1), though the statement did nothing to slow Hindu extremist violence that Christian leaders say has claimed more than 100 lives.

Among those who have fled to Bhubaneswar was Father Prabodha Kumar, a Catholic priest who reached the Catholic Archbishop’s House in the capital after a seven-day journey from Onjamundi village in Kandhamal. He was among other fearful sojourners at the house whose mobile phones constantly rang with news of more attacks from their relatives, friends and church members in interior villages of Kandhamal.

Fr. Kumar looked deeply troubled after one such phone call yesterday.

“My brother has been forced to ‘reconvert’ to Hinduism, as he was told that if he did not do so, his house would be destroyed,” he said.

Asked why he did not report the abuse to the police, the priest told Compass that if police officers could “witness Christians being brutally attacked,” why would they do anything to save his brother?

A few minutes later, Fr. Kumar’s phone rang once again. This time, it was about Christians in Kanpada village in Balliguda Block (Kandhamal district) being told to “reconvert” if they did not want their houses to be burned.

Shortly thereafter, another victim at the Archbishop’s House received a phone call reporting that at least 19 houses and churches were burned down that morning in Lujurmunda village, under Tikabali police station jurisdiction in Kandhamal.

State Inaction

That police did nothing to protect Christians is the assertion of most of the victims of Orissa violence.

Ravindranath Pradhan, a 45-year-old former soldier for the Indian Army, told Compass that two policemen came to him in his village, Gadragaon – also under the jurisdiction of Tikabali police station in Kandhamal – on August 24 and asked if he had heard the news about Saraswati’s killing. The officers told him to be “cautious,” but when he said police should protect him and his family, they said they didn’t have enough force to do so and left the village.

A little while later, he said, a mob of around 50 Hindu extremists stormed into the village and burned 31 houses belonging to Christians. The mob burned and killed his brother, Rasanand Pradhan, who suffers from paralysis, as he lay on his bed in a room that was set on fire.

“There is a police post in Pasora village, around five kilometers [three miles] from Gadragaon, but there was not even a single policeman in the village at the time of the attack,” the former soldier told Compass.

Ravindranath Pradhan, along with more than 100 Christians – including women, children and babies from his village, walked to reach Bhubaneswar, covering more than 300 kilometers (186 miles). He walked and used various means of transport, halting in numerous forests, before he was able to reach the state capital on Tuesday (Sept. 2).

“It took us four long days to reach Bhubaneswar,” Pradhan said. “We did not eat anything. We survived on water from rivers along the route. We also encountered wild animals in some forests.”

Pradhan had severe swelling of his left foot. One of his brothers was recovering in a hospital.

Many Christians from Gadragaon village reached Bhubaneswar on August 28. They were taken by local Christians to a YMCA center, where several other victims also are temporarily residing.

Christian leaders estimate at least 40,000 people have taken refuge in forests, and some 20,000 persons have fled to 10 government relief camps.

Police Afraid of VHP

Father Mathew Puthyadam of Christ the King Catholic Church in Phulbani town in Kandhamal also blames police for inaction.

At around 8:30 p.m. on August 24, he heard a mob shouting anti-Christian slogans, he said.

“I knew the church was going to be attacked,” Fr. Puthyadam said, his voice still trembling with fear. “I escaped to a nearby house when I saw a crowd of around 4,000 people carrying the body of Saraswati coming towards the church. The district collector [administrative head], the Deputy Inspector General [DIG] of Police, and several police personnel were also there.”

The Saraswati funeral procession stopped outside the church building, with the Hindu extremists carrying the body of Saraswati before its gate. The mob then broke the boundary wall and damaged statues and a cross.

“The collector, the DIG and other policemen witnessed it without doing anything,” Puthyadam recalled. “The DIG merely told the crowd, ‘Enough, enough, now move on.’ It is only when the crowd pelted stones on the police, and some of them got hurt, that the DIG asked his force to use batons to disperse the crowd.”

A federal security force also blamed Orissa state police for failing to prevent attacks on Christians.

On Friday (Aug. 29), the commandant of the Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF), Darshan Lal Gola, told The Indian Express newspaper that there was “complete breakdown of the state’s law and order machinery.” He pointed out that the CRPF rounded up 75 rioters in Deegei village under the Raikia police station, but local police refused to put them behind the bars.

A local human rights activist, Dhirendra Panda, said the state administration and police were afraid of VHP extremists.

“The state government did not conduct an autopsy on Saraswati’s body,” Panda said. “The body was not even taken to a hospital. Why didn’t the government follow the required procedure of law?”

Panda also pointed out that while the Orissa government put a restriction on all political party members and rights activists to visit Kandhamal, it gave police protection to VHP General Secretary Praveen Togadia to visit Saraswati’s Ashram (religious center) on August 25.

“Togadia was escorted by the police,” he said.

India’s Supreme Court reacted angrily to the Orissa administration’s denials yesterday of ongoing attacks, as justices ordered a commitment under oath for Orissa to provide protection to its people and their property.

Acting on Christian leaders’ charges that police were colluding with perpetrators and that the state government was a mute spectator, the court asked the Orissa chief secretary to file an affidavit today stating that the administration “will take all steps to protect life and property.”

Chief Justice K.G. Balakrishnan and Justices P. Sathasivam and J.M. Panchal had been enraged by a denial from state counsel Jana Ranjan Das that “allegations about continuing communal violence are false.”

Thus the Supreme Court on Wednesday ordered Orissa state to report on steps taken to stop the wave of anti-Christian violence. The court order came after Prime Minister Manmohan Singh ordered the state to punish those responsible for murder and arson.

In calling for the resignation of the entire state government of Orissa, on Monday (Sept. 1), Dr. Sajan K. George, national president of the Global Council of Indian Christians, said that the death toll from the violence had reached 100 “and more butchered bodies and burnt corpses are being found.”

“In Bakingia, two families of seven Christians – Daniel Naik and Michael Naik and their families – were tortured and killed,” George said. “Their bodies were found with their heads pulped and smashed, they were recognized by their clothes. Bakingia is about eight kilometers [five miles] from Raikia police station.”

Another Inflammatory Procession

The Orissa government today put a ban on another rally planned by the VHP to take the ashes of Saraswati in public procession from one village to another in Orissa beginning on Sunday (September 7), reported the Press Trust of India news agency.

The ban was announced by the state government in hearing of a petition filed by Archbishop Raphael Cheenath from Orissa in the Supreme Court of India.

The VHP and the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), a partner of the ruling government led by the Biju Janata Dal party, continue to blame Christians for the killing of Saraswati and four others in spite of the Maoist claim of responsibility for the assassination.

When Compass spoke to VHP Orissa State President Gauri Prasad Rath, he said the state government was wrongly linking Saraswati’s killing to Maoists.

“We know and believe that Christians killed him,” he said.

When Compass asked how he could say Christians killed him, he replied, “Christians attacked him on December 24, 2007.”

Saraswati allegedly incited the attacks on Christians and their property in Kandhamal during last Christmas season. The violence lasted for more than a week beginning December 24, and killed at least four Christians and burned 730 houses and 95 churches.

The 2007 attacks were allegedly carried out mainly by VHP extremists under the pretext of avenging an alleged attack on Saraswati by local Christians. Hundreds of Christians were displaced by the violence in Kandhamal, and many are still in various relief camps set up by the state government.

Christians make up 2.4 percent of Orissa’s population, or 897,861 of the total 3.7 million people.  

Report from Compass Direct News

I’m not sure how publicly we’ve advertised, but Temptress and I signed up last winter to be adult toy reviewers.  For the low price of a speedily posted and well written review, we are gifted several toys a month that we can test and keep.  The older children are aware of this side gig of ours because when we began, we had to warn them off from opening boxes addressed to the Mommies.  We wouldn’t want them opening a box expecting a birthday gift to be scarred for life by what they’d seen.

Despite our growing collection of adult toys, every once in a while I spot something I just must have, so I’ll buy it for myself.  Recently I bought a “lipstick” vibe.  When the item came in the mail I opened it up, installed the batteries and dropped it into my purse.  Temptress looked shocked and said, "Why in the world are you putting it in there?" (ok, that was a warning)

"Because,” I replied, "that is where you keep lipstick, right?"  I did purchase said item with the intentions of keeping it close by for those impromptu moments when I might not be at home near the toy box.  So in the purse it stayed for a couple of weeks until one day when Miss Academic, age 15, went looking for lip gloss in my bag.

We were sitting in the doctor’s office waiting area when she grabs my purse, opens it up, and pulls out the shiny purple lipstick (FYI, it really DOES look like a tube of lipstick, even with the inconspicuous dial at the bottom.)  “What color is this one?”  she asks, holding the cylinder in the high in the air.  I look over (forgetting momentarily that I had anything unusual hidden in my bag) and started laughing.

“Don’t open that!”  I said, “You will not appreciate that particular lipstick.”  (a devilish, evil grin spread across my face)

She looked at me puzzled, then this look of sheer horror crossed her face as she dropped the vibe back in my purse and practically FLUNG the bag in my direction.  “Ewwwwww, MOM, gross.  Do you HAVE to carry one of those things in your purse?  What’s wrong with you?  If you were a prude like most moms I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“If you stayed out of my purse or asked first, you wouldn’t have to deal with this either,” I reminded her.

But it started me thinking about progressive parenting and sex positive messages.  We are very open in our home about adult realities, not only with the nature of our poly parenting and our status as reviewers, but the responsibilities that adult behaviors bring.  Our children know we have sex, they know we like sex, and they know sex is a good thing when experienced in a mature and responsible way.  But they also have heard us say many times, that engaging in sexual activity is a responsibility.

I want our children to know that when the time comes for them to ask questions or need advice of a more adult nature, the parents are the “go to” people.  I remember the type of misleading opinions I heard from peers as a teen and young adult.  It only makes sense if one required accurate information, that person would go to a reputable and experienced advisor.  At least that is what we’re trying to teach our kids.

In the meantime, I’m content with just grossing them out just a little while longer.

~ the laundry goddess, September 5, 2008

Since we no longer have any responsibility towards them -- our neighbor having declared them to be his cats -- we can just enjoy their visits.

The male kitten, Trapeze, cuddled up to me when he first saw me and purred with great gusto. I'd never heard him purr before. Mark had named him Trapeze because of the high likelihood of him becoming a "flying young man" due to his tendency to bite. We don't know what has happened to them in the time they've been gone, but he no longer wants to bite, seeming content to play and cuddle. My daughter carried him around for a while today, and he was content.

I enjoy these furry companions and find myself sitting outside and watching them play. There is something soothing about having a cat curled up in my lap, the purring hypnotizing me into resting for a few moments out of these hectic days.

Don’t laugh. Lots of people think that instantly coming into a few million dollars means life on easy street, money that will be around forever, and no need for responsibility or work.

The truth is very rarely does it work out like that for a lottery winner. Unfortunately, a new study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making finds that people who feel poor are more eager to spend money in an attempt to get rich (this is a good “duh” moment). One recent report found that families who make under $12,400 spend about $645 a year on lottery tickets.

Many poor people are fooled by what they think it means to win the lottery. It’s usually the worst thing that could ever happen to someone.

Coming into a quick pile of cash usually means that people will come out of the woodwork looking to get a piece of your pie. Third cousins whom you didn’t even know existed will call and hit you up for money. You’ll get letters in the mail from complete strangers with every sob story imaginable (unemployed, sick children, in a wheelchair, etc.) in an attempt to get sympathy points and money from you. It puts a big target on your back, and most often it takes you out, too.

When you are feeling the money crunch, the last thing you want to do is spend what little money you have on a super-long shot for money. The odds of winning a lottery are literally about 1 in 125 million.

• You are 66 times more likely to die from a snake bite.
• You are 2,001 times more likely to die in the electric chair!
• You are 2,201 times more likely to die from a hornet, wasp or bee sting.
• You are 1,488,095 times more likely to die in a car wreck on the way to the gas station to buy the lottery ticket.

Does all this sound ridiculous? GOOD! It’s supposed to sound that way! Banking on winning the lottery is about as ridiculous as it gets!

Think about this for a second. The less money you have, the more wisely you need to manage it because you don’t have as much room for error. When you make a budget and get out of debt, you have some breathing room. Your budget can get busted when an emergency comes up, but that’s why you save up an emergency fund. The ultimate is when you start investing the money you have. The reason for that is eventually your money will grow to enormous sums because of the power of compound interest.

Forget the lotto. Working hard and saving money is the only surefire way to make money. It works every time … unlike the lotto.